I’m a comics guy: DC comics till the death of me.
One of the most complex characters in DC is Harley Quinzel aka Harley Quinn. Long time girlfriend of the joker and overall psycho. She is the perfect marriage of jungless behavior with private school girl sensibilities.
Short version of Harleys story: She was the Jokers psychiatrist that he more or less made crazy, in turn making her his villainous sidekick that we know and love today. In the New 52 (DC’s relaunch) they introduced the same Harley but now the Joker is gone and she is wreaking havoc all over Gotham. Nassau isn’t that much different from Gotham: Rampant crime, lack of foresight by Government officials, White Billionaire playboy pretending like he’s not the true hero of a city that he knows is doomed…
Harley Quinns present predicament forced me to wonder if Bahamian gals just love bad treatment or were they conditioned, like Harley Quinn, to become used to it?
Lets be clear: By bad treatment I DO NOT mean any type of abuse may it be physical or verbal, sexual assault, etc. Bad treatment is not “he gets angry sometimes and face punches me”.
Um, no beloved….that’s abuse and maybe you should call the police.
Don’t try and J.Lo “Enough” your way out of that shit because that movie was a lie. But if you must fight a nigga, Regina King has the answers.
“Bad treatment”, if you ask any Bahamian male, is when a woman can’t just be happy with….well….happiness, and either requires drama to keep her attention or you have to give her some semblance of treatment that reminds her of her “triflin” ex-boyfriend.
Now, before we get into the “he said, she said” lets start from the original sin: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. The portion that little quote leaves out is there is no salt more saltier than a woman unable to get over love lost.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one: Young woman (16-25 years old because gals) falls in love with visibly stupid nigga. Spends 2-38yrs trying to save said fellow. She evolves in her schooling, career, life etc but remains 16-25yrs old in her mind because of this same nigga that still, 2-38yrs later, ain’t shit.
After (finally) realizing he truly isn’t shit, said female leaves, takes time off to get her shit together, and then returns to the dating pool.
Sidenote: If she doesn’t take that time off and you’re trying to get with her….
Now, she’s in the dating game.
She’s back in the gym after eating her feelings for a few months, got her hair done, nails done, found those shoes in her size…..ready to try love again! And this is Nassau, when a chick comes back on the market after a rumored shitty-nigga-hiatus….us men are like wolves to the slaughter.
This is the impasse.
See, niggas walk into most things open minded because initially shit is just sexual.
Don’t let these niggas gas you.
As much as we think you’re great and lie and tell you you’re funny…..initially we just wan grind. We’ll suffer through 4hr stories about “that bitch from Accounts” just to see what that mouth do.
Its what happens AFTER the sex that matters. That’s when a dude typically decides if he’s wifing a chick or if this is just going to be 2am sex sometimes link up.
Shortly before or after sex women usually run a very quick disclaimer: “I’ve been through some shit.”
Now….this is where niggas mess up. I had a woman tell me the other day, “Women lie better than men because men never ask the right questions.”
That applies here.
Men never ask “Are you OVER whatever the hell it is you’ve been through?” Naw….we automatically go into Joe mode and try to fake save her from whatever is haunting her.
Sigh…and its all downhill from there.
I’ve seen women with legit quality guys who I knew genuinely just wanted to love them but then they let the past sabotage their present. If that ex nigga called her fat? Cool…now every skinny chick that walks past her new man is gonna cause a problem in their relationship. If that old nigga made her feel stupid? Then every time you disagree with her is you “thinking she’s stupid”. If that dude cheated….repeatedly?
So….because niggas are dumb, you’re left with 3 options.
Option 1: Be honest with her/yourself and just leave.
Option 2: Love her through her pain because she’s worth it.
And alas, the ever so popular option 3: Give her what she’s used to from the other guy.
Ladies, here’s something you really need to know about the average Bahamian male: We don’t like headache.
We really don’t.
Now, do we do dumb shit that causes headache? Absolutely. 100% I have been in a situation where I literally told myself “This is wrong and going to end REALLY badly but I mean why not tho??!!”. Legit in the moment I know whats happening. That being said, no part of me wants to have an argument, be mean or even do shit to make you angry. I just wanna eat fried food, drink vodka and not feel like my lack of drama translates into a lack of fucks given.
Women seem to think when we get out of their line of vision that we automatically are going to cheat.
Know what happens when we’re home alone?
But, because he screwed you over, in order for me to even get out of the house I have to start a whole argument about nothing just to go to Green Parrot and be at peace among strangers. And that’s just niggas who live with their girls. I remember relationships where if shit was going REALLY well for more than a week I got accused of cheating or being sneaky.
Now one can argue that that’s just how bad Bahamian men are that a woman has to be paranoid when one even is kinda behaving. But how does that help in the moment?
I’m old school…if it aint broke don’t try and fix it. Understand that I get it, I really do. I’ve been the cause of more breakups and fuck ups than most. I’m not an easy person to be with and I’ve done my share of cheating and lying. But that said, I’ve also been in situations where the female was “bored” or “uncomfortable” just living in the moment ie Just being happy.
Understand that I’m aware this is not ALL Bahamian women.
I’m fully aware that there’s a lot of you out there that just want to be hugged and cuddled and loved for who/what you are. I know women like this right now. But if I can admit that, can we all admit that we all know quite a number of women that think “all Bahamian men are the same” then walks into every relationship treating them accordingly then acts surprised when she gets the same treatment/result she was expecting walking INTO the situation?
Now, I’m fully aware that there are men in Nassau that will just cheat on you. You could be Jesus’s niece and they’ll still claim some jungless “just gets me”.
Trust me, I know niggas dumb.
But its glazed over that a lot of times a lot of chicks either are just not over their past issues, or just plain old love drama. And guess what….both realities are ok. Its perfectly ok to not be over an ex just as it is to just love the exhilaration of drama and discord.
I get it.
Nothing like a good argument to spice up your sex life.
But understand that shit is only cute in your 20’s.
In your 20’s you have time to waste with people you kinda like. But if you’re a female and still think that excess baggage and your inability to be at peace gives you an “edge” then maybe you should invest in cats.
So….do Bahamian women love bad treatment?
No….I don’t think they do.
I have always said, especially just recently, if a Bahamian woman falls for you then hell nor heaven can separate you. Unfortunately if they love and lose you…..
And that lack of separation more times than not is more mental than it is physical. We can go on and on about what came first: Broken females or broken males. Who got the worst end of the stick in that one relationship that turns you into a monster. But we’re not here to discuss the original sin, we’re here to bring light to the most recent. And recently? Its feeling like a lot of us are in an endless waltz of hurt and despair but throw cultural phrases at it and say “Gals like bad treatment”, disregarding the true pain she probably needs to work out.
Gals like love. Gals like being happy. Gals like Sunday drives, cuddling, lots of oral sex and guys that can hold a conversation…you know, the important stuff.
But for the women that just want to watch the world burn? Then the choice is yours. But lets not say they like bad treatment, that’s too easy a notion. No one does. Leave them be and let them work that shit out as they see fit. If you decide you can handle it then do it. And hey, lets be honest, you have some niggas that love bad treatment just as much as we assume these chicks do. Shit, I know niggas that rather be married to a scorpion woman than ever find happiness.
Speaking of which,