Sebastian Bastian Should Be The Next Prime Minister (And Here’s Why)

By Drew

The Bahamas claims to be many things. If we’re being honest a lot of them are just blatant lies. We are not a Christian nation…that ship sailed away a long time ago when, during the pandemic, these pastors were more concerned about the tithing money than people’s well-being.

“Father why have you allowed this pandemic to go on so long when you know I have Bently payments and sweetheart rent payments due soon? abandoned me!”- Them all 2020

We are not a progressive nation. We’ve been voting in the same 15 guys on rotation for….well…..always, more or less. We act like we care about things but all we need is one little distraction and we’re right back where we started. Nothing changes. It’s an endless waltz of mediocrity.

I’ve been alive for 41 years and I’ve never lived in an era where our power could consistently stay on. #ANewDayTho

Let’s’ be honest…we’re not doing well politically at the moment and my fear is that next election, everyone will just vote FNM because “Brave gotta go”. Maybe let’s’ not miss our blessing and vote for who we hoped Branville McCartney would have been; maybe it’s time to vote in someone not minutes away from death…maybe it’s time to have a serious look at Sebastian Bastian aka “Sebas” as an actual contender.

Given years of letting our parents and grandparents dictate to us who to vote for and why…because, keep it 100, half of y’all are FNM and PLP because you were conditioned to be. Same way we were conditioned to believe that a virgin gave birth to a baby that moonwalked on water that he also sometimes turned into wine because the Carlo Rossi was out.

Don’t blame me, beloved; I ein tell y’all that. Blame your (my) parents.

“Ok so Jesus is white, marital rape is a lie and the FNM is literally the only thing that matters and if you don’t follow them blindly you are dead to me. Now go play and enjoy your youth!”

So, if we can admit that, then we are closer to answering the question…why not Sebas?

Honestly…why not?

Because he’s “young” and doesn’t have “crippling arthritis”?

Because he lightskin?

Cause that’s my one critique of him to be honest.

He looks like he hangs with his boys and says shit like, “I needed this”.

Let me get this straight: we have politicians literally stealing our money, overpricing and taxing us to pieces and using our taxes to afford their families lifestyles we can only dream of. We have churches that collect tithes every Sunday and…stop me if you heard this one, uses our tithes TO AFFORD THEIR FAMILIES LIFESTYLES WE CAN ONLY DREAM OF….and y’all mad because he’s not from the old guard or because he is the “numbers guy”?

Y’all serious?

Someone…..ANYONE tell me why he shouldn’t be next up without the obvious concerted chant of….


BUT if that’s the argument then cool. I just never understood the Sebas slander or hate from the public. I get why the old oligarchs and the “old money” people hate him. I get it….they hate to see a young rich nigga win and build genuine wealth.

“Yeah my family was able to gain wealth and riches from illegally running rum and then the UBP came into power and we super flourished on the backs on every day Bahamians but how dare this nigger build wealth legally…he’s not even the right hue!!”

Let me get this straight: Y’all was playin numbers for years anyway but y’all tight that he locked down the market, successfully petitioned to legalize it, made a copious amount of money doing it…..what did he do after that?

Did he rest on his laurels?

Nah, nigga then put money in the hands of entrepreneurs, gave back to the people via events and charity drives and then yearly hosts a end of year rally to give back to his customers FOR FREE and y’all mad?


These niggas demand 10% of y’all pay and y’all don’t even get a rally but you get *checks notes* “thoughts and prayers” and a rebate once you die and go to heaven? lol wild

Yeah he made millions off Bahamians BUT SO DID THE POLITICIANS. At least he’s doin it on front street. Nigga has commercials and billboards that very brazenly tell you what the fuck you signing up for. Y’all mad at him but on the back end….

Know who probably wasn’t ga be in this situation? THE FUCKING NUMBERS GUY

Also, he’s us. (Clearly i don’t mean financially. I mean that he’s OUR age).

If you’re reading this I’m assuming you’re of a certain age bracket. WE, the late 70’s – early 90’s babies are TIRED. We are tired of these bare minimum ass career politicians with no regard for us as a whole because, let me be clear: These niggas do NOT care about us. Long as they can get their pockets lined they will let this island burn to the ground.

How I know?

We have 388 days of sun but these politicians are getting bent over and juice raw by….

“Shhhhh….let them sweat lil more and I’ll get you that Tesla you like. Now about this fuel charge increase…”

Am I saying Sebas is gonna fix ALL our problems?

Fuck no. He’s not God OR Sade….who, to be clear, could fix all our problems with an album (argue with ya ma). But the man is clearly intelligent, he knows how to run several businesses, he actually has vision beyond the old ways and honestly……y’all ain tired of these old niggas?

Cause I am.

They have NO intentions of breaking the wheel because it works too well in their favor. We need a government run by someone young enough to have fresh innovative ideas. We need someone most like us to be in power and not these snake oil salesmen.

And by “us” I don’t include myself in that, because y’all REALLY don’t wanna see me in politics. Trust and believe it would be an all 10th Year Seniors government.

Imagine that…

“Ok so Dakarai is minister of Finance, Nal is Minister of Sports. John is white so that locks down the Lyford Cay, Old Fort, Abaco and Blair vote… ”

That’s facts.

But it’s time to take charge and, the thing is, we have the numbers. The old guard is dying out. The staunch PLP and FNM supporters are more or less either dead or on their way and we’re all that’s left. Well…us and my, would have been, 106 year old grandmother, who will probably rise from the dead once Jesus shows her this article just to vote in the next election.

Above: My dead grammy gleefully on her way to vote party over politics

There is a silent war going on in this country. We see it every day. A war between millennials and “the others”. You know who I mean.

She is “my whole life I been PLP but yinna chirren come back from college and think ya smarter than everyone” years old

Look around your office. Unless you work for some young company like Island Luck or…I don’t know…Conch and Cone…the entire top level are old folks and trust: They are ALL stuck in their ways and refuse to change. Stop me if you’ve heard this one…

“Well I’ve been doing this for 86 years and this is just how we always do it so…take your fancy internet and college learning elsewhere. Who ya people is anyway?”

Don’t confuse me: They have a lot they can teach us and a lot to offer in terms of consultation and things that worked in the past. You should never forget where you came from and what they did to get us to where we’re going. But majoritively?

There is no vision.

I’m lying?

We’re heading towards the future?


BPL just bought 462 of these to “lower” power bills. But y’all not ready for this adult conversation

Here’s the issue: We’re broke and lost as individuals. The old heads have ruined the economy and are ensuring that we stay broke. And, don’t get me started on home ownership or even affording kids. Houses in the 70’s cost like $5,000. Cars were $10,000 brand new. And, the one thing that hurts my heart the most…

We were kings

So, you can run as independents all you want. It won’t work and you won’t win.

I know that’s a hard pill to swallow, but you don’t have the capitol and Bahamians are fickle. We like pretty things but we don’t SUPPORT pretty things. You’re no better than these Bahamian “influencers” who y’all gas on social media, ‘cause they have y’all thinking they doing big shit.

600 likes in 5 minutes, 120,000 followers, clout for days, not as cute as 600 likes in 5 minutes in person……broke and living at home with their grammy. #BahamianInfluencers #AllY’allBroke #MeToo

I’m not saying give up on your dreams of running the country…in fact I’m saying the opposite…I’m saying team up, form a party and let’s’ actually have a parliament of young progressive minds lead by Sebas running this country instead of the same old men that only want to get rich off of us.

Shit…y’all was ready to march for Ranard Henfield and we all see how that panned out.

Remember when  y’all march in the hot sun only for him to join what y’all was actually marching AGAINST and then he allegedly lie bout stopping a fight at a pizza joint? #IsThisYourKing?

See, here’s the thing; we don’t mind politicians helping a friend out with a contract. I already told y’all what I would do if 10th Year Seniors got in power.

All of us would eat. 

We don’t mind that.

What we don’t like is when a job that costs $10,000 is contracted out for $120,000. THAT’S when we have issues. There’s getting fed and then there’s getting fat…none of our political parties seem to know the difference.

We need weed legalized. We need to acknowledge social media as an asset and monetize it not demonize it. We need our education system overhauled. We need leaders that won’t be bullied and will stand for something AND follow through. We need gay marriage legalized. We need to dissolve the Christian council. We need ALL government offices staff audited, renovated and pushed into the technological future, and not remain broken and stagnant.

Have you tried to get your police record in the year of our Lord 2023?

I’ve been alive 41 years and I’ve never lived in an era where this wasn’t where you went to get a police record.

Neither the FNM nor the PLP are going to do ANY of the things I named above and you can believe that. But Sebas can’t do it alone. But, if a party was formed, I would hope he wouldn’t do it the way it’s being done and has been done. I would hope he would bring on like minded individuals with vision to carry us beyond pandering to the Christian council, stupid rallies and free t-shirts.

Ok,  keep the free tshirts cause lord niggas love a free tshirt. #CantWinWithoutEm

The entire election process needs to change.

How is it we don’t we have actual debates about the issues?

Not just politicians on soap boxes attacking the other party and just straight up fucking lying their asses off. As long as there is free food, rum and t-shirts our parents were entertained and so were some of you.

No policies mentioned. No real intellect on display. But the wings and beer hit different when you’re with ignorant ass people who voting party regardless among friends.

And please be afraid because the next election will be the most important election of our generation. That will determine where this little island nation is going.

Is Sebas my first choice to lead this country?


Is he the most logical choice with the capitol and all the right attributes that the proletariat revere?


Especially considering y’all let lawyers and *checks notes* A vagina doctor run the country…

I’m just sayin we already down bad so….

So if you have a better person, who’s young, with the money to actually compete with these niggas then PLEASE let me know but otherwise…..thats my pick. Because if we don’t get this straight we are doomed.

Doomed to repeat the same mistakes.

Doomed to sit back and watch as they embarrass us, use us, tax us and then a month before elections, gas us into thinking “they’ve changed”.

Politicians on this island use you like an ex on crack.

“Got any more of them votes, baby? I promise I’ve changed. You see how I cut the grass in your neighbourhood park and added a swing set? Come on, baby… daddy needs these votes!!”

And if I was Sebas I would ignore this article. I would NEVER want to be prime minister cause there’s literally nothing in it for him but stress.

But, if his head should swing today or tomorrow and decide to make these politicians shit bricks because, to be clear, educated active millennials with money are their worst nightmare, then…who knows.

And those of you saying, “Yeah but he’s not a career politician so what he know bout government?”

Y’all woulda HAPPILY voted for this nigga but mad at Sebas? lol wild

Maybe…just maybe…we can move a bit upward.

Maybe we could move onward.

And instead of greedy politicians who could give a shit about us….maybe we could do this together.

…it’s’ fun to dream.

Be safe tho.