It’s my time now.

It’s not often, working with this group of guys, that I have license to say that. Taige has his basketball, The false god Ricardo has his news and unwavering yearning for Bahamians to be less dumb. Dakarai has his art/books, Timothy his music and Nal….well he’s married to Sannie so whatever he did have is more or less a wash.

Sannie has him now.

Nigga got married and hasn't combed his hair since. Y'all pray for him

Nigga got married and hasn’t combed his hair since. Y’all pray for him

And me? I have my liquor.

It’s my time now, and Rum Bahamas is upon us!

While your weird Soca friends still think marching on “di road” in 98degree weather….drunk…..is a good idea at 30 yrs of age, come meet me at Rum Bahamas doing the exact same thing only without the soca or the “marching” as it were.

"Glad I stayed in Nassau and avoided all that exercise and social interaction I think I don't need"

“Glad I stayed in Nassau and avoided all that exercise and social interaction I think I don’t need”

There used to be this weird corner at Rum Bahamas where these Soca people would congregate and jump up and down like they were being electrocuted to these “new Soca” songs and feel superior to the rest of us that still listen to Buju Bantons “Till Shiloh” on occasion.

"Mudererrrrrrr! Blood is on your shoulder. Kill like today you cannot kill like tomorrow!!"- Me on my way to work to not murder anyone for yet another day

“Mudererrrrrrr! Blood is on your shoulder. Kill like today you cannot kill like tomorrow!!”- Me on my way to work to not murder anyone for yet another day

Thankfully they’ll all be gone doing that on someone else’s time.

Good riddance I say.

So come through and enjoy alcohol from all over the globe but more importantly Rum that was made right here in New Providence. Yes, we make more than children out of wedlock and delicious thigh snacks people. There are legit distilleries here on the island and their products are delicious. I for one am a huge fan of the Pirates Brewery 151 and ginger beer but you have to follow your heart for your own choice in what will sway you to text your ex “by mistake”.

"Yes I'm at Rum Bahamas, yes I sampled several different shots, but that doesn't mean I don't really miss you right now in this moment!"

“Yes I’m at Rum Bahamas, yes I sampled several different shots, but that doesn’t mean I don’t really miss you right now in this moment!”

 

 

But Rum Bahamas is so much more than rum and that’s what makes it all the more fun.

There will be live music by Visage who, as we all know ALWAYS brings the house down. Food will be provided by several vendors including Vell Monkey, Events by Alexandria, and Cassava Grille to name a few. We want you to drink responsibly as Imperials will not be near the venue so mideswell eat, get a good base and drink at the same time so everyone gets home safe.

"This is the exact amount of food we'll need to avoid a drunken break up later into the evening!"

“This is the exact amount of food we’ll need to avoid a drunken break up later into the evening!”

And most importantly: it will be safe.

Oh this isn’t some honky dory event where you’ll be dodging bullets and a Tribune headline. Only thing you’ll be dodging are your ex’s and the friends you pretend to like on social media to keep the peace, but deep down you have no clue why they’re even your friends ON social media. This is more or less a gathering of the 7% to have a good time and enjoy themselves outside of the sometimes overdone Junkanoo theme.

"I'm thinking Junkanoo in March...we'll call it "Junkanoo in March". Boom! #Culture #FuckCreativityAndTheMyriadOfOtherAspectsOfBahamianCultureWeCanUse #DontForgetTheChicken"

“I’m thinking Junkanoo in March…we’ll call it “Junkanoo in March”. Boom! #Culture #FuckCreativityAndTheMyriadOfOtherAspectsOfBahamianCultureWeCanUse #DontForgetTheChicken #CreativesCreating”

Don’t get me wrong, I love Junkanoo, but there are other ways to enjoy what it is to be Bahamian and enjoy Bahamian culture and, let’s be honest, rum is a huge part of our culture.

From the pirates that once ruled these islands to…..the pirates that NOW rule these islands.

He has a sleepy eye, pirate "shuffle"and on a sinking ship. Where's the lie?

He has a sleepy eye, pirate “shuffle”and on a sinking ship. Where’s the lie?

But trust this event isn’t run by pirates.

Rum Bahamas is the most organized and best co-ordinated event that we’ll see on this island, you know just like the election (HAHAHAHAHAH No). The Rum Bahamas team has mastered the art of crowd control, solid entertainment, a safe environment and good old adult fun…..

That could very well lead to after hours mistakes adult fun

That could very well lead to after hours mistakes adult fun

It’s not often that we can come together and celebrate in this manner without fear of crowds and sketchy vendors. Rum Bahamas promises you will leave entertained and filled with enough food and rum to satisfy anyone and everyone that attends.

Most importantly, however, if you still need a reason to come, just know that Young Randolph, The false God Ricardo Wells, Timothy and lil WhoDis and I will be there representing 10th Year Seniors…… and maybe Sannie, since these niggas keep telling me she in charge now.

Let’s be honest, you have nothing else to do this weekend and all of your actual friends went to Carnival and left you behind. Come have a drink with us and a gathering of your secondary friends as we drink, eat, snapchat, instagram and selfie the night away!

Be safe tho.

 

Stay(Responsibly)Woke

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