Theres a common narrative that we all just kinda agreed to. We hear it wherever we go. It’s almost the “cool” thing to say these days. We’ve all heard the cries: “The Bahamian dating scene is trash!”, “Niggas ain shit!”, “These Bahamian gals ungrateful!”, “…this why I gotta go to Cuba to find a good soft hair woman cause these Bahamian gals too angry and problematic!!”. We all know what that nigga looks and smells like don’t we?
Make no mistake, I’m also a part of the problem. It’s almost a knee jerk reaction to cosign the grievances of the 40+ and single. Shit….on the radio I’ve warned people against leaving their spouse because, in my own words….
Well, to the 6 people reading this let me do what no woman has ever done outside of Anita Baker and the love of my life Sade:
I was wrong, I was pandering to the crowd…..I’m sorry.
I misewell tell y’all: It actually ain that bad out here…..some’a y’all just weird.
LoL….this won’t go well but….fuck it.
Hear me out: Y’all is ever….EVER look in the mirror and ask yourselves…
I don’t get how y’all don’t question yourselves even a little bit. I try to keep a healthy dose of real talk within my morning affirmations and I’m tellin ya….it keeps me honest.
Works like a charm.
How you getting your body done but you ain heal from your last relationship let alone childhood trauma? How you a nigga in the gym, cut to the floor, but you don’t even know what compromise or humility looks like? Y’all workin out the wrong shit. Just because you not fat and presumably not ogly doesn’t mean you deserve the world on that merit alone, beloved. Especially y’all set who like to stand on your “independence”.
Same way men standing on their wallet isn’t the flex y’all think it is.
Ok, wait….let me qualify that.
It’s not the flex you think it is with SOME women. Cause if we’re being honest there’s definitely that select few who, within 10 minutes of realizing a nigga has money, all of a sudden needs a bill paid.
Let’s not act like they don’t exist.
But, if I can defend the rest of these 40+ ladies: y’all ain impressin them. Cause these women will hear you brag about your car and paycheck and look you dead in the eye and say….
They have their own money and all that shit you talking. Y’all niggas job, clout and money is your whole aesthetic or worse yet: your entire personality. Beloved, can you hold a conversation? Are you funny? You have ANY passion beyond….
But ladies, some’a y’all weird too. How you just divorced with 2 kids but “saving yourself” for your NEXT marriage?
Y’all don’t hear me in this church.
HOW YOU JUST GAVE THAT MAN SEX FOR 12 YEARS (begrudgingly apparently) AND IIIIIIIII MUST WAIT?
Hear me out.
If you don’t wanna have sex with any man then madam that is your God given right. In this age of this goddamn country DEBATING marital rape and it being “controversial” and morons like this existing….
…I could see why you’re not only hesitant but unwilling to fuck these niggas.
And I mean that.
Just please understand when niggas then proceed to either leave or do what niggas do in those situations: Juice another woman on the side until White Jesus gives you the green light. It’s not personal but we’re men and we 40, bey. I respect your walk with Christ. I really do. Just please respect my walk to the side piece house is all.
So, again, ask yourself….is the Bahamian dating scene shitty or are you just a weird person?
Y’all ever see a woman so fine, shape good, good job, seems intelligent then you meet them or ask enough people and EVERYONE have the SAME report about her? I was shook to my core when I found out how problematic a few of these women are. I mean like…..TOXIC. When a non-hating Bahamian man warns you off a beautiful woman just know she’s a PROBLEM.
Niggas start talkin like slaves in the 1800’s.
Same for men only for some reason some women think they can save these niggas. Tho, I gotta say, not seeing that as much with this new crop of 40+ year old women. Most of them are either coming out of a long term relationship that didn’t work or a marriage that went to shit so their patience is thin. They really ain with the shits this lap.
They have ZERO patience for the bullshit.
THIS is why I say the dating scene is NOT trash. We’re finally getting to the goddamn point. We’re finally having the hard conversations month 1. We have trimmed the fat on these dates/conversations and we are unpacking shit faster than ever.
That quick cause, let’s be honest, the minute we start work and friend gossiping then in my mind we go together I misewell tell you. I always know when me and a woman are really clicking when they mistakenly say, “So Girl listen…”, mid tea session. That’s when you know y’all official and she like you bad bad.
This is a glorious time.
We, the 40 somethings, are in great space . Cause I can date a mother or the 30 year old daughter. Shit, some of these grandmothers could get it y’all better stop playin with me.
In essence, the dating field is WIDE open. More and more men I talk to want a woman their own age or older. Of course there’s always the niggas who are 49 and wanna date a 21 year old to which I say Godspeed. I’m not tryna keep up with their weird slang and drug use. We the generation of weed and liquor.
These lil gals DIFFERENT.
Yeah, my old ass ain built for the youth. Y’all can have that shit. I need someone who knees hurt at 4am when they get up to pee. If you wasn’t outside during the stabby Waterloo or Bahama Joes era then respectfully stay away from me.
Everyone’s journey is different. I’m sure there are some people reading this that may have had a HORRIBLE go of it dating wise. ESPECIALLY women. I really do empathize with y’all cause niggas out here WEIRD . Trust me, I know. I talk to these niggas and I immediately feel bad for y’all.
Meanwhile ise be like…
However, calling the WHOLE scene trash is a stretch. The dating scene can’t be trash if you don’t put yourself out there. Y’all think slow blinking at niggas and liking Instagram photos ga get y’all booed up.
Hop in that niggas dms and shoot your shot, beloved, cause guess who ain scared to shoot…
Gents, not all these women are gold diggers and after your money. Because, let’s be honest: she probably makes more than you and also no one tryna rob you and your one bedroom apartment, bro. Niggas be “between jobs” scared of “gold diggers”. My nigga if that’s the case she mining coal not gold cause how you smell like Black and Mild and Nissan Teana seats but need a woman “who makin sense”?
Juxtapose to niggas who think money is an aesthetic. Bro…be interesting. Be funny. Ask bout her day. Buy dumb shit she like. Pay attention. Wake up and eat her vagina randomly and to completion during the wee hours to maintain balance and clarity within the relationship. Take her for drives.
All that good shit.
But, trust me: It’s not that bad out here.
And, if worse comes to worse…..never be afraid to pursue people husband/wife. Plenty of them WAITING for the right person to get in them dm’s. Don’t let a marriage stop you from finding the love of your life.
But I grew up sweeping carpet and eating fry sausage sandwich with no condiments so…..make your own decisions.
Be safe tho