The Bahamian National Hero List We Need (But Not The One We Deserve)

By Drew

So let’s address the elephant in the room. Last week Friday The Office Of the Prime Minister issued out 5 heroes they wanted to recognize. They are on The Office Of The Prime Minister’s (OPM) Facebook page so feel free to give it a gander. My radio/DJ friend, Ovadose, was one of them. I’m proud of the young king. Ovadose looked at this pandemic and said…

“They say heat kills the covid. So I ga heal y’all with this wine till y’all sweat!! SOCA WINE EVERYBODY WAVE AND WINE AND DO SOCA THINGS THAT FRUSTRATE ANDREW!!!” – Dose”

Let me be clear, there are no shortage of heroes on this island. From the everyday folks that do just a little to help their brother or sister out. To the fast food workers who showed up to work every day for months during the pandemic. From the heroes that are here and working to the ones we miss from our normal day to day that may have gone unnoticed…

They may have forgotten you, my love…..but I will NEVER forget. Come back to me, baby….I miss you. #NoSeriouslyWhenY’allOpeninBackUp? #SomeoneTagJohnny

So, even though someone made a list at OPM, I’d like to add to that list…..respectfully of course.

ALL Essential Workers

Not all essential workers are created equal. I’m not one of these people that believes that every essential worker exists on the same plane of importance. Know why? Cause my fat ass was considered essential.

Imagine that.

I’m not stupid enough to believe that my talking shit on the radio is anywhere close in importance as that of a nurse, doctor, policeman/woman, or even a BPL worker. Picture it….

“Mr. Speaker, The Doctors and nurses are all on strike but, 103.5 The Beat team, who are more than just music, are at work and ready to play top 40 urban music for our fellow Bahamians and residents.” #Wouldn’tShockMeHonestly

I know my job is not as important as the aforementioned but it does NOT mean that other essentials are not worthy of praise. Gas station pump attendants and staff. BPL, Batelco and lest we forget the most underrated government institution that does not get the love they genuinely deserve: Water and sewage.

I’m wrong?

Name the last time your water was off and it wasn’t because you didn’t pay the bill for 3 years.

April 4, 2019. Now…..when last your light was off??  Exactly. #iDon’tEvenKnowWhoThisNiggaIs #RespectThem

Much like so many things in my life, I don’t have the stamina to fully satisfy this too long list of heroes that stood on the front lines of Dorian and a goddamn once every 100 year pandemic. I can’t name you all….but I can say thank you. Thank you for doing a thankless job that many looked down upon but when we needed you the most… showed up. Thank you and God bless.

Theodore Elyett

What can be said about Theodore Elyett (Theo) that can’t be said about myself? Designer, entrepreneur, socialite, social media influencer, model and, if you ask me, our shared talent where we are equal unquestionably?


He doesn’t like to brag about it but we recently did a photoshoot together.

This was shot by Schin Nyugen and called “Theo and boxy green mess”. Its art stuff so don’t let it go over your heads. #ItsLiterallyWhatItLooksLike

All jokes aside, if we look at what Theo has done in the past 2 years alone, you nor I could not even.

Like….we couldn’t EVEN.

Theo not only flew to Abaco for a goddamn never before seen hurricane, but he survived it, walked from his hotel to the airport in the aftermath, sometimes in waist deep water with dead bodies surrounding him. He did ALL that looking like this I imagine….

“Just survived a CAT 6….felt cute….might delete later. #Blessed”

He came home and did he rest on his laurels? Did he come home and complain about it? Nah…covid was calling and he answered the call. He held politicians’ feet to the fire while simultaneously having CNN on speed dial, my nigga. One time I watched him put them on hold to order sushi. That’s when I knew this nigga was a wild man.

Had Anderson Cooper shook…

“Hi, Theo….sorry for disturbing your sushi call but can you teach me how to news better? I news ok but I wan really Theo the wibe tru God” -Anderson Cooper #YaMaLyin

Theo has been an ORIGINAL fashion designer. He has elevated news and fashion to a level our generation has never seen. And he’s done it quietly. No bravado, no bullshit, no headlines beyond Eyewitness News…..just a man about town doing God’s work. Salute this king, and let’s give this hero his flowers before he takes Anderson Cooper’s job and leave us with Minnis.

Jasper Ward

I don’t know this young lady. I have never met her. I assume she also doesn’t socialize much, like myself, because I never see her tagged on Facebook or the Instagram with some bullshit fake “girl boss” post where she waxes poetic about accomplishing the bare minimum to her friends on a Sunday afternoon.

“Girl I finished a 120 word report on how air exists and it took me all week. I deserve this brunch I can’t afford!!! #WorkHardPlayHard #iLiveWithMyGrandmotherAndThatsOk”

Or maybe she’s a party animal with a crippling alcohol addiction while she sits on a throne of men that she discards at her whim on a weekly basis. We’ll never know. What I do know is every time ANYONE says, “Jasper just posted it so its true” , then that means something on an island where Whatsapp news carries weight.

“Girl you see Car Wash and Cindy Patrice Daxon both running for the MICAL seat? Lemme forward you the link from the Facebook  page that journalisms real good always”

Timothy Bain comes in the group chat and can literally post anything….ANYTHING and he knows once he attaches, “Jasper just posted” , we’ll believe him. Even a skeptic like the false god Ricardo Wells, an ex-journalist himself, holds her in high regard and that’s coming from a man who is still a Patriots fan post Brady.

Sis is y’all king, beloved? lol……K

But beyond her tweets, integrity and overall just being really good at her job, she did not shine brighter than during those Covid news conferences. She had politician niggas SHOOK. You could hear the PM sigh when he knew she had a question.

I know that sigh.

That’s the sigh of a man that knows there’s smoke coming. Jasper wasn’t softballing ANYTHING….she emptied the clip on niggas with questions like….

“You said there were x amount of people on the dog funeral plane when in reality there was y amount. Or maybe math itself is wrong and you and you alone understand math. Also, what is God, Dr. Minnis? I look forward to your answer”

She was an integral part in our Prime Minister NOT wanting to answer questions.

Oh, I’m sorry….did y’all forget when he was like….

“I won’t be answering any more of Jasper questions cause she mean and she too like facts and math so questions at this time” #OurPMDidThat #ActualGirlBoss

So thank you, Jasper.

Thank you for holding these politicians accountable and not allowing them to lie or manipulate us. Thank you for being the young queen that we needed in a time of crisis when it was not easy to be so.

Don’t stop now, we need you.

Joy Jibrilu

Much like Jasper, I don’t know this young lady personally suffice to say, what I do know is that she is the woman behind the face of tourism, Dionisio D’aguilar. Something about both of them and their accents remind me of my mother who also spent some time in Europe/Africa and has that exact same very polite yet stern, yet welcoming, yet will “beat you with a belt for not taking the chicken out on time when she called you hours before”, energy….

I always feel like I let this woman down in some way and I just want her to know I’m sorry #SheHighkeySexyAsShit #YouBringMeJoy

If Mr. D’aguilar is the face of the brand then she is, like so many women in her position/life, the engine. She is behind the scenes of a government product that is more or less the engine for our country.

Let us be very clear, the government’s entire plan beyond this pandemic is literally, “Lol we’ll throw tourism at it when this wibe settle down”. Let us not understate how big a deal her job is and the pressure on her shoulders.

Imagine you’re in the Trump administration and they put you in charge of solving racism….you think you can handle “solve racism” pressure?

“Is he hinting that the engine of America for a long time was minorities? Is he saying that, as a once colonized country, we still battle with silent racism? What is he getting at?” – Y’all. And that’s showbiz folks!

None of us, especially the hotel workers, know whats next. We are all champing at the bit. I just trust our next move is the best move. Her team has put up record numbers after a fucking Cat 6 hurricane.

Let the gravity of that really set in.

After our biggest tragedy she was a key part in bringing us out of that misery. My bets on her doing it again. Thank you to the entire Tourism team. Thank you for giving us, Joy.

We’re all rooting for you.

Tin Ferl

Tin Ferl was the thing we asked for, we got, and never fully appreciated until it was gone….momentarily. If you don’t know what Tin Ferl is, it’s a small group of local chefs, mixologists and entrepreneurs who all decided to gather in the Dundas yard which, in my mind, was always an underutilized space…

Can you imagine the amount of illegal car sex that can be had here? This isn’t the Dundas grounds but it’s the same space kinda but it’s the car sex entanglements for me #RIPStokesHouse

They came together to sell their sexy food and drinks legit all day. Its a safe space filled with 19- 45 year olds that either want a quick bite or wanna chill on a Friday evening. There’s enough space to social distance and its never too clustered…..and they did ALL this during the pandemic. We are seeing a rise in hotel chefs/bartenders taking their skills on the road. Tin Ferl gave them a location and space to innovate. Gave them a chance to be business owners. And what did the government do? They supported them unconditionally and poured money into them because they truly care and LOVE Bahamians….

LOL JK….they made them pack up their shit over a law that wasn’t a law but they were gonna make a law but hadn’t yet because FNM. #TheyMakeMeEmbarassedToHaveThumbs

But, after some social media outrage and Bahamians having to fight to be recognized as worthy to profit IN The Bahamas, they were able to open back up on Tuesday of this week. Thank you to Puppy and that team for shining light on ways Bahamians can innovate and BE independent of the shackles of a 9 -5 job. Nova Scotia has Pizza Corner, Toronto has Yonge Street and now Nassau? Well, we have Tin Ferl….tell a friend. Thank me later.

I salute all of the above because they are doing a job many of us looked down upon, never respected until recently, or didn’t know was possible. They stood in the shallow waters of our nation’s biggest tragedies and challenges with ready swords to fight for us.

I remember a quote by Dante Alighieri that reads: “You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man’s bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man’s stairs”

I’ve never tasted that salt or walked those stairs. Thank you to these Bahamian heroes for doing what I could not.

Be safe tho