Sexual Harassment In The Bahamas: The Mis-Education Of The Bahamian Male
Wanna hear a joke?
How do you get a catholic nun pregnant?
Have (consensual) sex with her. LOL….get it?
If I’m being honest, I never really gave sexual harassment much thought because in my mind male sexual misconduct was black and white: Either a woman got raped or she didn’t. Ironically enough, the animated poster child for male sexual misconduct is black and white and, in hindsight, a bit rapey.
It wasn’t a big moment, it was subtle actually.
My younger sister asked me to get her Bamboo shack. I was confused considering she owns a car, owns legs, and owns a whole school (Pembroke Academy stand Up!!!!)….why the hell do I have to get up from the nothing I was doing and get her food? She knows that movement and not-laying down have always been pet peeves of mine.
I asked why and she went on to tell me how, if she went alone, she feared the men who would inevitably be there would harass her or forcefully proposition her. She was genuinely afraid. It blew my mind. But it shouldn’t have, it was there all along but I turned a blind eye for 35 years. But my eyes have been opened and perhaps, if possible, I can open a few more.
Has it ever occurred to any of you that murder happens around us every day? From animals to people. As I type these words there are about 15 single women getting ready to face down and successfully kill a flying cockroach with nothing but a yellow broom and the courage of their ancestors.
We don’t really think twice about killing living breathing things because it’s what we’ve done our whole lives. And no, American white people, we don’t “scoot” woodland insects away with a piece of loose leaf or make harrowing videos of us “saving the lizard” from whatever predicament we find them. We have sand, sea and bush. Bushes filled with more evil than Kardashian vagina.
Do we fully grasp that, with the same apathy that we kill these insects, that same apathy is applied to Bahamian women being harassed?
What’s funny is that there’s a group of men reading this and thinking “Well I’m a feminist who loves women and has NEVER harassed a female”.
Fist of all fuck off with the “I’m a feminist” bullshit….you’re not.
You just type that under some pretty girls status to make them feel comfortable and lull them into a false sense of security so you can hopefully have sex with them. I know because I used to do it back when MSN Messenger was poppin off.
Understand that after you post your bullshit on Facebook and write your little statuses fake supporting women that those same women have to log off and actually live in the real world. And know what the real world holds? 10,000 niggas like you that watched the guy outside of Bamboo shack harass my sister and go ahead and order your thigh snack fry dry with mayo on the fries like you just watched someone kill a roach.
I just want us men to acknowledge that we legit out right TALK about harassing gals and laugh about it most times WHILE HARASSING GALS.
You’ve never been with a group of niggas talking about vagina and lying about how you blew some girls back out when Jane from accounts with that bookshelf ass starts approaching, then all of a sudden she has 7 grown niggas standing up watching her approach, pass and walk away like it was a zoo? Then to compound the situation its always one nigga in the crew who has to be “that nigga”…
Imagine being her for a second.
She has to monitor what she wears, how she walks, where she walks and because of the anatomy God gave her she has to dress a certain way because, if not, these Neanderthals will lose their shit and verbally molest her…..and the Christian council will co-sign the molestation apparently.
And no, I’m not here for the fuckery I see a lot of you Ankh, Christian; whoever you are niggas spreading BS…..rapists cause rape. It’s not the clothes, not the attitude….its rapists. We have to stop letting niggas live off of semantics.
Let’s not pretend like Junkanoo hasn’t been a point of contention for years. We ALL have joked about how dangerous it is for females walking through the lines just to enter the parade. I myself have said shit like, “Gal dress like that and wonder why she get feel up? SHE ASK FOR THAT!!!”. Understand that even though that sentence is upsetting and wrong, there’s a bigger problem here: it’s the normalcy of it all, the comfort we have in acknowledging the crimes and saying nothing….. that is the REAL issue here. We treat sexual harassment the same way we treat political rallies….all talk, no action.
We acknowledge that it happens, verbally sympathize with women, feign empathy and then ignore it all around us 10 minutes later.
So now I’m faced with the other side of this article….the solution.
In the immortal words of Jay Z, “And I can’t justify genocide, but I was born in the city where the skinny niggas die. Born in the city where the skinny niggas ride. And as a skinny nigga I had beef with high size.”
Know who” high size” is, beloved?
Me….I am high size.
So picture this: I’m at junkanoo walking through the crowd with a group of like-minded, private schooled, ain fight since grade 7 when Geno Daniels beat me up in the Kingsway music room for talking shit ass niggas, when we witness a woman being harassed. Anyone who knows Nassau knows it would be a fool’s errand to physically try and defend that female. Because private school niggas fight like this…
…while the male harasser and his 38 friends fight like this…
So it would be unwise to play the hero in that scenario.
So a solution? Its simple…..
We stop ignoring that it happens. We stop watching it happen and saying nothing. We stop sexualizing teenage girls not yet ready for this world let alone your rapey gestures. We support them by any means necessary. And by the way, stop supporting women creepily.
Just because you root for women on social media doesn’t mean that you’re entitled to follow her to her car then ask for her number or….you know…..sex.
Ask her out by finding her on Facebook, adding her, waving at her and dm’ing her like a gentleman you uncultured swine. Christ on a cracker y’all niggas uncouth.
These women are our sisters, cousins, friends, daughters….shit even our mothers and grandmothers. There is a culture of predatory behavior against women on this island that has to stop. And yes, I know men get harassed too.
And I’m a big nigga, I get harassed more than most. Not for looks cause I ogly. But just for being large. Ask any big nigga, they know.
Always some chick with a smart comment thinking I can toss them around because she feel like gals ain heavy.
Beloved…..gals heavy. Just cause I push heavy weight in the gym does not mean I can lift AND juice you at the same time. I have bills to pay…this is not the time to throw my back out trying to be a sexual hero.
But I digress.
Men may get harassed and raped but not nearly as much as the damn near culture we have of doing it to women. Not even close. We have 12 year old girls being overly sexualized by grown ass, 12 yr old daughter having niggas in these streets. It has to stop.
And no, its not on women to stop dressing provocatively. If you see a woman dressed sexy and you think shes hot then nigga….peripherals.
Its fine to look but don’t objectify. Its ok to compliment but don’t sexualize. Its ok to acknowledge and not be a creepy asshole.
We have to unlearn everything we’ve ignored and rethink everything indoctrinated in us. This is the time and its simple…not everything has to be dealt with on Facebook or at some goddamn 5am “march for gals” rally. You can solve it during your day to day by just being a decent human.
Remember the Nun joke I cracked earlier? A lot of you sat there and tried to come up with a complex response when really the answer was right there and simple all along. There is no nuance to respect. Don’t harass gals, defend them. Because think about it: If I was in the same group of friends mentioned earlier and just one person said, “Bey leave this gal let her walk in peace”….you’ll probably get the shit teased out of you and called a homosexual.
Oh ya, it wont go well for you at all. But know what does happen? In all of her misery passing that group she’ll know that if worst comes to worst at least one guy has her back. One guy stood up for her. Not to get in her pants. Not to see it on social media minutes later. He did the right thing because it was the right thing to do.
Ya I know marching at 5am on bay street is fun and I know its cute to post shit on social media but all it takes is one man to decide to not be a nigga. And then he’ll raise sons and cousins that wont be that way. And…well, you see where I’m going with this.
We have to protect our women because I have 5 of them I really care for that I can’t always be there for so I need your help. THEY need your help.
And to the guys that will go on to harass, rape, assault and molest another day?
You’re going to have to deal with a “high size” nigga!
(Just kidding, I cant fight and ine have no gun. But seriously stop harassing gals)