This week I decided to take a different approach with my article and hit the streets (not for real though…more like my office, Facebook and Whats app because its too damn hot) to find out what women wish men knew or understood about them. This is nothing like that horrible Mel Gibson movie, there are no super powers in this and by no means do I expect you guys to be mind readers. Not at all. Communication should be easy in a healthy relationship but these are just a few things we (and I use that “we” word loosely) wished you guys knew. The names of the respondents have been changed to protect their relationships or lack thereof and by no means do these responses reflect the opinions and beliefs of every woman out there – these were a few that stood out to me.
“I want men to understand when I send a message that they should read and respond to the entire message and not just one arbitrary line” – SavedandSexDeprived
I can totally relate to this. Crazy Kanye (my second favorite version) said it best, “Bitch, this ain’t Chipotle” and by no means are you going to pick what you want to respond to. Kindly respond to my entire message, thanks. What gets me worked up most is when you get a “one-worder.” So, I’m just having this conversation by myself then? Guys, this is the exact point where you mess around and end up with an essay in your phone until I’m satisfied that I’ve got it all out because…Crazy.
“I need men to be interested in everything that comes out of my mouth. Listen, like it’s a good story” – WorkaholicWifey
This is a tough one. I can’t say that I totally agree with this because I am the queen of rambling. One minute we’re talking about that Ho Keisha and how I can’t stand her and the next I can be talking about helping some poor homeless cat that lives up the street.
Sometimes I don’t even remember what I’m talking about so kudos to the dude that can listen to all that and respond at all the right points (Vaginas are powerful). The last guy I was with would always say “Ok bae” and that’s when I knew I was rambling. Sometimes when I looked back at past conversations I see tons of messages from me pretty much talking to…myself. I’m probably rambling right now and don’t even know it.
“I wish they understood that I don’t mean what I say, but the reverse. So figure out when I am speaking direct ” – ConfusedFutureCatlady
Huh? I read this response 10 times and I still don’t get it. Is this how guys feel when talking to us? I’m assuming this is like when a woman tells her guy “have fun” when he’s going out with the guys when she low key doesn’t mean it and either wants to be invited or simply wants him to stay at home with her. This is when they’re supposed to use their mind reading gland (because y’all totally have that) and just know….you know? No? I don’t even know.
“ They need to be more open minded and stop thinking their opinions or views are the only ones that matter or make sense and ours are just us being emotional” – NuggetsandMacMami I’ve only came across a handful of these guys. None of whom I have dated by the way, but all of whom I have gotten in an argument with at some point. Don’t you ever try to belittle me and make me feel like I don’t have a voice or that my opinion doesn’t matter. Who raised you, you misogynistic jerk! Yes, women are emotional beings but this does not mean that every decision we make is based entirely off of how we are feeling at the time. We do have the capacity to think logically too you know?
“If I cook for us the least you could do is wash the dishes” – 6ftSexaholic
This goes without saying. As women we naturally want to take care of our men but this doesn’t mean that we want to be slaves to the relationship. A little reciprocity goes a long way. Give a little. Be a team player. We don’t need much although it sometimes seems that way. Washing the dishes after I cooked us a meal is a great way to say thank you. It’s the little things.
“Men should know that wink faces are creepy” – BirkinandBallers
Hmmm…Can I have the definition of wink face please? Can you use one in a sentence? I’m not quite sure what this means but for me the only way a guy can creep me out by sending a wink face is if he’s:
1. Older than or the same age as my father.
2. If it precedes some weird compliment that he gives me.
Double whammy is having an old ass guy send you a smiling kissing wink face after telling you you looked good today. Yes, this has happened to me and no I don’t want to talk about it. Just know it was the dirtiest feeling in the world. You’re like, 102… need I remind you of the creep levels?
“I wish guys knew how to celebrate or plan something properly for special dates instead of just going with the flow” – DominatrixDuncy
Sigh…Don’t we all. In all fairness there are guys out there who do a pretty decent job at planning something special for their girl but the majority are just clueless. Is it because they don’t care? Maybe its just because they cant be bothered? Maybe its because guys rarely remember special dates unless its when the new Madden is dropping or the New Jordan’s are coming out.The world may never know. Get it together though guys. We just want to feel appreciated. You don’t have to break the bank to do something special for her but the fact that you made an effort to make her feel special on that day, whatever the occasion, is good enough.
This list could have been 958824774 points long but the guys gave me limited space. What women wish men knew is one of those arguments that can go on forever, and it does. It’s safe to say we are one of the most complex beings in the universe and from these responses I sort of get why guys are confused by us. I’m confused by us. At the end of the day its simple, all we want is time, affection, love, reciprocity, attention, to be valued, have a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, a car, a new wardrobe, the skin of your ex and a unicorn.