Nassau (Downtown) Is In Shambles And We Need To Talk About It

By Drew

I’m old. I’m “I remember when Shirley St was 2 way” years old. Shit….I remember Bahama Joe’s. RIP to the Parkgate Market of downtown bars: That bar brought ALL of us together as one. Y’all wasn’t outside then.

Look at us. Not knowing Dorian, Covid and a Financial crisis were gonna cause most of us to never be home owners. Just vibin out like idiots. #GoodTimes

Driving downtown is like having sex with a chick you met in a club with questionable lighting. You start off thinking…

“Boy this gal pretty. I win!”

Then you keep dancing and get to the end of the night and the lights come on and reality hits…

“Wait….WAIT WHAT? THIS is not what I was sold earlier!”

Downtown is a mess and we need to address it.

Imagine being a tourist and you decide….DECIDE…to walk from Atlantis to the straw market. You pass the beach soccer stadium, meander past the rum cake factory only to end up in goddamn war torn Sarajevo for like 7 minutes of walking.

The smoke makes it even more hilarious cause remember that time the straw market was on fire but we were more amused by Darold Miller hilariously narrating the catastrophe WHILE THE FUCKING STRAW MARKET WAS ON FIRE?!?! #IneForget

Don’t get it twisted: I’m fully aware those abandoned buildings aka Crackhead Palaces are privately owned by wealthy families that can’t get their shit together to either sell their shit or fix it up….but my response to that is…


What happened to imminent domain?

For those who don’t know, imminent domain is when the government takes your property with proper compensation but without your permission because your place lil too shitty.

That’s too much?

I’m running out?


If I buy a house in one of those lovely mansion suburbs out west, let it get run down to shit, let crackheads wonder in and out however and whenever they want. I let the bush grow up and leave a few run down cars littered across the lawn for good measure. In your heart of hearts, you think they won’t imminent domain the fuck out my shit? The way some of those neighborhoods are set up they’ll do it for less.

“Police? A reggae party is happening next door and there’s a preponderance of blacks singing “SLEW DEM” rather loudly. Help! As I don’t want to be the “DEM” during the inevitable “Slewing”.

So why the hesitation to do the same to the downtown elitist crew? Why did NONE of you do anything?

Pictured above: The 4 reasons Lynden Pindling is perpetually rolling over in his grave. #LetThatManRest #DoBetterNiggas

Downtown used to have at least a nightlife.

I was there.

Fluid, Pirates, Bahama Joes, Sharkeez, that little Spanish spot, Via Café, Green Parrot Pub, Bacardi, The Balcony, 601…I could do this all day. We had a real nightlife scene on this island despite the ugliness of the last half of Downtown. So the walk for tourists was worth it. Now at night they walk and see this shit….

“Oh look….closed stores! How did they know that walking for 45minutes  from a resort, over a bridge, past several container ports, through a ghost town was my #1 travel requiry?! #ItsBetterInTheBahamas”

Some may argue that the government doesn’t have the money to deal with all of my aforementioned grievances (and I’m sure all 4 of you reading this could bring up even more that I’m missing out) to which I say: You right. They probably don’t have the money.

Know who does?

These niggas

Royal Caribbean International wants to build a private beach club on Paradise Island but also “Build a better Nassau”. Here’s my thing: What do you think Nassau would look like with $110 Million dollars infused into it?

Yes, it would look exactly like this. Stop thinking about it and just trust me like y’all do y’all “good pastors”.

Put that money into downtown if you have that many dollars and fucks to give, beloved.

To be fair, they have said that this would be a partnership with the Bahamian people. The beach club that is. Bahamians will have the opportunity to own 49% interest in the beach project.

That’s cute.

However, no details regarding the structure/specifics of this offer have been presented. And what this really means is that Bahamians are going to provide the capital required to complete this development. RCI would retain 51% of the ownership, therefore having full control of an entity in which Bahamians are being asked to risk their savings. I’m sorry but I stopped trusting white large boat owners a long time ago because of reasons.

Pictured above: Fucking REASONS

And no I don’t think they’re coming to enslave us: Both parties did that by not having any vision for this nation beyond…

“Ok…so how else can we remix tourism? Cause Weed, solar panel manufacturing, food sustainability, export ventures etc all sound like actual work. YUCK!”

What I am saying is, since this beach club shit looks like an environmental disaster waiting to happen and we have been served virtual nothing burgers from the government then I have a proposal: Put that $110million into beautifying and renovating downtown. And I know there’s a bunch of you reading this yelling at your computers and typing angrily….


Beloved, I agree. I agree wholeheartedly. But most of y’all who married understand what it is to live with a bad thing until you catch ya self and move away/forward amicably.

“I wan leave this nigga so bad but I need that half of rent/bills AND we have these chirren. Soon as I get this promotion I GONE!”

So we’re stuck with this tourism bullshit until y’all decide to take shit seriously and vote people over party.

But I digress.

We’re here now, and tourism isn’t going anywhere. So if downtown is the hub for the most tourist action how does it not make sense to propose that RCI invest in that shit first and leave that environmental disaster of a beach club alone?

How is this not even on the table?

And we should all be mad. Mad because we have been given no information concerning this venture beyond…..

“lol…no but jobs and what not I promise, bey!”

Let’s fix what’s tangible and right in front of our faces. Why are we building elsewhere before we reconcile the original product? If we’re gonna lay down with this tourist product lets at least make it worth our while.

My God at least make the whoring count.

“Yeah I let foreign investors fuck me but we gonna cry in the Maybach not a Passo tho so…”

My money’s on Nassau being the squeaky wheel that needs the oil and not a private beach club that we have no details about.

Y’all stop me when I stop telling the truth.

Be safe tho.