We, The Unmarried/Childless 35+ Year Old Bahamians…
My mother turned 79 last week Monday. She’s one of those Aquarius demons that no one wants to talk about. Her, Joseph Gaskins, and, waste of human life, Naldo Dorsett. Why Does no one talk about the problematic duality of Aquarius’s?
I’m 40 which means that my mother had me at the tender age of 39…..AND I have a younger sister. Understand that back in those days that was unheard of and uncalled for. My mother was a rebel for even getting married at *gasp* 30. My grandmother must have been like…
Little did we know she was in the vanguard for what would be an ever so present reality for most of us and, frankly…..that’s perfectly fucking ok.
The hilarious thing about growing up in the Bahamas with all the rules that come with aging and life is that NONE of it translated from then to now. My mother told me she bought the property our house is on for $8,000. We’re by NO means rich but by no means poor either. It’s a great house on a great property.
For that price now?
A wise man once said, “the rent is too damn high!”, and he wasn’t wrong.
In my parents generation you could make $400 a week and live COMFORTABLY. You could get a pretty ok house, a vehicle and raise 12 kids and never go hungry. Try doing that now with $800 a week. Lil Sprinkles bout to be eatin roaches.
Inflation, price gouging, governments that refuse to hold companies accountable so that Bahamians can make a living wage…..the amount of people I know personally that are selling weed and weed related products as another source of income would blow your mind.
And I’m not talking about like, you know….thugs. I mean good Bachelors degree ass niggas. These phone calls are WILD…
Shit is real out here, beloved.
And they wonder why we aren’t married? Why niggas are out here raising pitbulls and boston terriers like they’re human children? Do y’all know how expensive alive children and spouses are?
Let one of your friends explain their expenses after having kids…..that’ll dry up that vag and shrink that dick REAL quick.
And yes, I know little “It was only supposed to be a back rub” is the pride and joy of your life….I have NO doubt. I get it. Children are fulfilling, they are delightful and they will carry on your legacy and provide a sense of purpose and community and family for a lot of people that need that and my God I know it’s a blessing….
…..to some of you.
We gonna act like ALL y’all kids and marriages are blessings? Its no shade, I know several happily married couples and several parents that are doing AMAZING…..but not all. Some of y’all kids lil slow…
And, let me be clear…..I was that kid.
I was borderline retarded. I thought I was Wolverine for the greater part of my childhood and was actively awaiting the manifestation of my healing powers at ANY point. I jumped off of my mothers roof with a sheet cause I thought it would turn into a parachute. During my ninja phase……….did you read that?
DURING MY NINJA PHASE…..I once attacked my mother with a plastic knife from atop the cupboards that this silly woman paid good money for, to show her that her paying for karate classes would not be in vain and the fact that this woman did not end up just being like….
“Why don’t y’all have kids?”
And I want kids. I know I’d be an amazing father cause I have the exact same IQ and attention span of a 6yr old. Lil nigga/lady would be my best friend probably. But the reason a lot of us are starting late has more to do with reality than it does any weird lack of moralty or lost notion of family and community within our society.
We’re simply just not ready for kids/marriage: That’s it and that’s all.
You don’t get to 35 or 40 and dodge kids and marriage arbitrarily. You dodge them shits like niggas in the matrix.
Y’all have to stop asking us “when?”. And y’all know the “whens”.
“When are you gonna get married?”
“When are you gonna give your mom a grandchild?”
“When are you gonna settle down and just have a family?”
Has it ever occurred to some of you that some women may have a hard time getting pregnant? That maybe we wanna build a career more than we wanna have kids or marriage? Maybe we prefer our solitude to marriage? Maybe some people are just gay and this backwards ass country won’t even ALLOW them to marry and or probably adopt but you’re mad they can’t fill in the blanks for a life that didn’t even make YOU happy? Woman been comin to Christmas lunch for 6 years with the same female “friend” and y’all still asking her why she won’t find a man.
We are the generation of “in our time”. And, ya know what?…..we deserve. We survived Christie and Ingraham forever and then right when we were like, “whew…..ok, now is the time for change….now it’s the people’s time!”….BOOM….
The rest of us:
We survived hurricane Andrew, George Bush, Iraq War, Beyonce’s “Lemonade”, Minnis, Trump, Kobe Died, pandemic…..We was like, ok….and now we heal……wait….oh Jesus not again……
Bruh…give us a second to figure shit out.
Divorce rate high as shit and we bout to have a generation of children raised by day drinking adults that don’t understand their homework or how to work “the Tiktok”…..I’m just sayin maybe not ALL of us need to be having kids and marriages right now.
If I’m being honest the only reason I never got married, at least not yet, is because I never wanted to cheat on my wife. I also wanted to be in a financial situation to give my children MORE than I was given because isn’t that the point of it all? To improve on how you were brought up? And yes mistakes happen but….
But I refused to walk into a marriage that I KNEW beforehand would be a mistake…..so I waited. We are ALL waiting. We want the same shit y’all want. And ya know what? Maybe we don’t. Regardless, it’s not your business, bey.
Everything is fine and we are all ok. Some people are in marriages and don’t want kids. Some single mothers AND fathers are doing this alone. Some people are going through their first divorce and NEVER wanna get married again. Some of you had a kid with someone you didn’t wanna be with let alone marry and you’re making the best of it. And some people just like having disposable income to travel the world and see shit that the single life affords them. Y’all know them set….
All of the above are perfectly fine. And if you’re reading this and you feel an obligation to be married or have kids then please know…you’re ok.