Why The Christopher Columbus Statue Needs To Come Down

By Drew

I’m by no means perfect. If any of my ex’s are reading this I guarantee they just audibly said, out loud, “GODDAMN RIGHT YOU AINT!” and they would not only be not wrong, but also well within their rights to further insult me with very true statements.

“Y’all still reading this stupid ass blog from this lil dick piece of nothing nigga? Y’all know he fat and don’t smell good right?”

Its funny how things change. Time is tricky….one minute you’re in high school using “Ya ma is a Haitian” as an insult, the next minute you’re marrying the love of your life….who is Haitian….who just saw your Facebook memories from 2010 and now its awkward.

“…no, babe: when I said these niggas is dress like Hightians I didn’t mean it negatively I was just young and sak pase am I right?” #ThingsChange

Never forget how far we’ve come and how much growth we’ve had. What was ignored and tolerated then may not be so tolerated and accepted now. That’s life. In the 60’s you could hit your wife in the head with a mop handle and the police would ask HER why she was back talking. It was horrendously wrong then as it is now. Difference is, then it was kinda/maybe frowned upon.

Now? lol…..not the same laws and NOT the same women, beloved.

Above: Her and her cousins from Long Island who CAN’T WAIT to go back to jail. #TheyRequireSmoke

So, even tho I know this will piss off a few portions of society, I think it’s time we address why that Christopher Columbus statue needs to come down.

If we’re being honest, Christopher Columbus, or “CC” as I like to call him (something about “CC” feels less rapey and genocidey and more Starbucks datey….no?)…CC was a great guy. No, seriously…..the average Bahamian woman would fuck with him heavy if he was a real person and liked unraped 3rd world vagina.

“Yeah girl he have THREE boats and we went on a little night cruise. He have PLENTY servants and money so I may let him discover this WAP if he lucky.”#YouInDangerGirl

Think about it: He owned boats, which scientifically has been proven to make Bahamian women’s panties juicy. He was super into traveling and adventures. He was cool with royalty and all the big celebs and we know how some of y’all like clout and opulence. Clearly he wasn’t racist as he had TONS of black “friends”….

…he even bought them stylish and timely in fashion ankle bracelets. The man was clearly a giver

If we’re being honest he was probably a great guy and super fun at parties with all the stories he could tell. Don’t get it twisted: Reading back, that man would be considered an asshole now, in modern times. But in those days none of what I said above was really abnormal. It’s just what happened.

“You heard Sir Chad is going broke? He has like…3 slaves left lmao. He used to own a plantation. Now look at him….owns 3 human beings like some type of poor…..lets drink 2 shots of nigger blood to mourn his decline!”

That’s probably how the conversations went.

When you’re committing genocides and gutting whole societies flawlessly and creating generational wealth on the backs of an entire race, why exactly would you even imagine stopping? If it was the reverse niggas would have been flossing with their white British slaves.

I can see it now….

“Bey, lend me 3 of your thickest English slave girls. I want them to carry me to the club tonight. Lemme borrow a pretty house cracker too incase I wan some heads after. I’ll pay you back when I get some fresh whiteys next shipment”

Was it wrong, horrendous, alarming, sick, nasty, unconscionable, inhumane and a violation of every human fucking right? Yes.

Did it leave lasting scars for generations after slavery? Yes.

Was it illegal to do those things at that time, nay….was it even FROWNED upon at that time? ….No.

So why would he NOT do it? Any one of us if given the opportunity (also being white SUPER helped) and had the mindset of that time would have hopped on that chance.

“Would you be interested in traveling the globe? We’ll give you 3 yachts, a shitload of money and all the black human suffering you can dream of! Did I mention our rape and pillage incentives?”

So the questions I’m seeing are:

“Why tear it down now after all this time? It’s not hurting anyone!”

“What does it matter? Who cares? Y’all just tryna be like America!”

“What about history?”

I love that last argument cause people act like once you destroy an exalted image of a objectively bad person that their name is magically erased from the history books. That’s not how “history” and “books” work, beloved.

Not one statue of Hitler in Germany and they CLEARLY STILL have on sight smoke for his gang. Trust me, we won’t forget. #NoOneForgot #OnSight

To be quite blunt: Considering y’all had us praying to a white Jesus all our lives the LEAST you can do is take down the statue of a white devil.

Imma let y’all deal with the fact that Jesus wasn’t white and there probably were no white people in the Bible but enjoy Adele’s new single while you contemplate these uncomfortable facts.

And I know someone is gonna make the argument, “Why does race ALWAYS have to come into these conversations? Leave race out of it!”

To that I say…..exhibit A….

Remember: Slavery/Slave murder was legal….killing white people en masse on the other hand…..

Funny how no one sees color until they try and make a beloved white character not white. Certain white people be like…

“I don’t see color, my brother! I don’t care if you’re red, orange or blue….people are people!”

Me: “Ok, so you don’t mind if they made Superman black then?”


“…ok no wait….” #OhNOWYouSeeColor

So let’s not play the “color doesn’t matter” game.

It matters.

I’m willing to make the argument that the reason WHY a lot of these niggas out here are house niggas (looking at you politicians) is BECAUSE of the white Jesus/White Savior complex. I never learned about the atrocities and the heinous acts CC committed. The man was a literal monster. The sad part is our politicians KNOW what this nigga did and yet, when a petition was signed by thousands of Bahamians to bring down the statue, we were ignored.

Now, to be fair, we may have had bigger fish to fry….shit, we ALWAYS have bigger fish to fry. But how hard is it to just….just be like….

“…oh, and lastly…..we all agree on tearing down the racist piece of shit literally outside these walls right? Cause he used to rape and murder people who look like us so…..this a debate? Who have a hammer, I’ll do it” #TheMinnisWeDeserved

Having that CC statue up is insulting to an island that is predominantly black. The only statue MORE insulting is that goddamn chicken in the middle of the highway. Salute to the welder that made it and it’s an amazing feat but, beloved…..a chicken?

“As a tourist destination what would definitely cement stereotypes about niggas to white Americans? A large veiny penis is too crass…..WAIT…..I GOT IT!!”

Having a CC statue, in front of our government house no less, is like Bahamians building a statue of Renward Wells in front of PMH.

You knew he was a puppet and probably not smart but he took the job anyway and, while we don’t have ALL of the facts, we’ve decided he’s the face of this specific failure

And that’s really what it is isn’t it?

We really can’t see racism.

We can feel it.

We can sense it.

We can think we hear it but no one really SAYS they’re racist because there’s always some level of deniability. Y’all know what I mean.

He never directly objectively said anything overtly racist….but I just feel like….like….ya know? Yeah….you know. #SomethingAboutHisLips

Sure people may act racist or use racist dog whistles but, anytime you ask, they almost ALWAYS have a “black friend” and that nigga almost always has this shape up….

If “I go to Cuba a lot because Bahamian women are just loud and gold diggers so I prefer foreign women” was a haircut

But, CC? We have receipts on this nigga. Like….documentaries and books and scribes and shit tell tales of how awful this man was. Irony of it is they probably wrote that shit thinking they were biggin this nigga up like it was a motivational rap song.

“….and we were far from timid, only genocided communities and raped blacks if our heart was in it…..and lived the phrase Sky’s the limit….motherfucker!” #Bars #ColonzierChris

So the question is should this man’s deeds be acknowledged?

My answer is yes.

But should this man be celebrated? Fuck no.

Get the nuance?

It’s like this whole Kanye debacle we seem to be in. To be clear: Kanye supported Trump, said slavery was a choice, married AND impregnanted a Kardashian and made niggas spend $2,000 for these shits….

…I know a Jonser on Shirley Street that coulda made these out of a croaker sack, 2 conch shells and the too long hair off a potcake for $5 and that price is negotiable.

But I’m supposed to not think “My Dark Twisted Fantasy” wasn’t a classic?

College Dropout is now garbage?

Understand, until he comes back to the light its fuck Kanye forever but I’m not turning my back on the genius of his music. CC was super good at sailing and never forget….SLAVERY WAS LEGAL. He technically did nothing wrong outside of being a gigantic piece of dog shit. The higher ups at that time didn’t give a shit.

“Ok so after killing like ALL of the, we assume, Indians….he discovered what they called ‘coconuts’. We’re thinking we add gin and sweet cream to its milk and see what happens”

But he was super good at ocean stuff. I can acknowledge the man’s work while simultaneously despising his choices/acts…..and CC should absolutely be despised.

I think we all know the story of the young man taking a sledgehammer to the Columbus statue. I’m clearly not writing this off air, tho, to be clear, I wrote about this last year and y’all ignored my ass the way Minnis ignored y’all petition to bring the statue down.

But had that article title been “Why Bahamian Men Are Wrong About Everything” this woulda had 1,000 shares. Smt…I hate y’all

Now, here we are again…..and thanks be to God that young man put Brave “A New Day” Davis in a bind because you either repair it or bring it down. If he’s reading the room (or my timeline) you bring it down. But you’ll be surprised how many people may not want that.

So I have a compromise: Repair the statue…..but repair it at its new home…..a museum dedicated to the story of how we got here, who brought us here, and the FULL truth and scope of what happened. Put a face and body to the Italian piece of shit and surround him with the statues of the slaves, the fallen, the Lucayans, the murdered, the diseased. Show the boats they brought us in. Tell the story of the horror. Because to leave him in front of government house like some hero on a pedestal is wrong. To celebrate him is wrong.

And, to be clear, what that man did by illegally taking a sledge hammer, taking an arm and a leg from that statue, was also wrong.

But boy did it feel and look right.

Brave, you just got in and I know you’re tryna fix shit….but this is shit that needs fixing. Move the statue somewhere else and tell the full story so our kids and our kid’s kids can be more knowledgeable than some of us that fear change due to our ignorance of history and facts.

After that young man is freed from whatever institution they have him in, we need to thank him for forcing the hands of our leaders, ALL OF THEM, from dragging their feet with this easily resolved thing.

The same young man during his legendary moment yelled out he was the Archangel Michael coming to save The Bahamas.

I thought angels had white Jesus powers so ine know why he needed the bullet proof vest but he had a sledge hammer and seemed angry so no one was ready to ask that nigga shit

It reminded me of the Archangel Michael prayer. I won’t bore you with the whole thing, but what that young man did and represented last week reminded me of one part in particular that reads,

“…and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,

by the power of God thrust Satan down to hell

and with him those other wicked spirits

who wander through the world for the ruin of souls.


That young man probably isn’t the Archangel Michael: But he did God’s work that day……and let the church say……!

Be safe tho