Open Letter To Prime Minister Phillip “Brave” Davis (Respice, Adspice, Prospice)

By Drew

Dear Right Honorable Prime Minister Phillip “Brave” Davis,

How you, beloved?

Let’s start with the disrespect, shall we? I slandered you a lot. I put “rape whistle” before and after your name because….well that was pretty dumb. I know you Prime Minister now but….beloved….rape whistle? You being a lawyer you should know that’s not the way rape works.

“…and there she was ripe for the raping. Half drunk, vulnerable and not a nigga….but she had that goddamn whistle and the sound just made my penis not wanna rape. Damn you, Brave Davis!!!”

But who am I to judge.

We all make mistakes. I’d like to imagine it was just a terribly timed joke. And we, as a country, are no strangers to terribly bad jokes. Minnis had us cracking up by how bad his jokes were.

Remember this joke?


There was a time I prayed to PLP Jesus that you would just shut up. It was as if everything Minnis said you HAD to have a retort.

Minnis could be like….

“After much thought we have concluded water is wet…”

You, almost immediately….

“Is water wet for the elites or wet for everyone else? Minnis has no plan to make water less wet is my issue…”

Also, ya gotta stop slandering your grandparents on main street, beloved. Jesus christ… that just a thing you do? Your wife gotta be tired of you.

“What do you mean stop mentioning that my parents were subsistence farmers on Cat Island during foreplay? I’m tryna get your body and mind woke.”

But once you got past loud noises not stopping rapists and being contrarian to a man drowning in an ocean of his own incompetence and unchecked hubris, you kinda settled down and you were aight.

Let me be VERY clear, sir…..I am not a fan of EITHER party. We gave Minnis a shot and we all see how that went….

“We’re shutting down the country TONIGHT because fuck y’all also no questions from the press and P.S. I accepted Duane Sands resignation LMAO….BYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”- Minnis

You gotta understand that we didn’t know that nigga. Like…we knew him for pulling life out of vaginas marginally well but outside of that we didn’t know that nigga. It was just that towards the end, Perry was so bad, that niggas just let Minnis in. I knew Bahamians voted party over people when Fred Mitchell lost Fox Hill to whoever the hell this person is…..

Is this lanisha Rolle, Shonel Ferguson or the angry black lady from Why Did I get Married?…..EXACTLY

See, Brave…..wait….can we pause and sidebar for ONE sec?

Just one sec.

Brave….why they is call you “Brave”?

It bothers me that Shin Nyugen just posts videos and never addresses it. Harrison Thompson has NEVER asked or even hinted to why in the good hell we call u Brave. And Harrison questions EVERYTHING about niggas.

“Your person may be sleeping a lot but you never question if while laying down they’re lying down on the job. A partner who lays also lies. Tune in at divorce O -clock for more!” #HeNeedsToRelax

Did you like… Perry from a stabbing or fight off rabid potcakes in the name of justice? You don’t seem incredibly athletic…..why they is call you Brave? And like…we just is call you Brave off air.

NO ONE questions it.

Imagine if my name was Andrew “GentlyNow” Bain and I became PRIME MINISTER OF A COUNTRY. You wouldn’t have questions? That wouldn’t be an awkward episode of Behind the Headlines with Clint Watson?

“Before we get into your plans for a better Bahamas…..GentlyNow? What does that mean? Are you being “GentlyNow” with the voters trust in you? The people NEED to know, SIR!!”

But niggas just…..I guess…..decided thas your name.

I mean…if you like it I love it I just thought I should ask.


 I fear, Brave, that what happened the last election happened this election: People voted party over people. Now, does that mean you will fuck up as bad as Minnis did? Nope… have the opportunity to be a trailblazer and show that men other than Ingraham, Christie and Pindling can run the country and govt departments transparently and not Marvin Damesely.  

Do we trust you to do that? Lol…fuck no…. you miss the last couple years aye?

Pictured above: Bahamians walking into the last 2 years with the FNM

Here’s the thing: We WANT you to prove us wrong. Don’t mind these salty FNM’s that have come out of nowhere and who was quiet all these years.

They ain low, Brave.

Niggas was SILENT after the Dorian fiasco and the pandemic mishandling. I mean the world was burning and they was on social media talkin bout….

“So this foundation I’m about to use makes me look like I’m not drowning in my loneliness as I use my career and relative good looks to make y’all think I’m doing ok in life I got a light tan & serving that summer glow!”

Then the PLP won and now they out here on some….


Brave, I see it and I don’t like it cause their memory is poor …..BUT….they have a point. Lotta tiefin gone down over the years. Lotta suspect shit happened between BOTH parties. But….it looks like the people have chosen the better of 2 apparent evils. Word on the street is when the FNM are in power they do darkness and the elite win and eat well. And when the PLP are in power they do the same darkness but “over the hill” eat well and win. Meanwhile the millennials and dying middle class are watching this back and forth like….

I’m the sleeping cat cause the robots are going to rise up and kill us anyway so nothing matters anymore really

I’m not getting into the hearsay, the rumors, the lies, the rhetoric and the bullshit from either party. Cause we ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of Sade. (Y’all probably do some more sinning than us but you get where I’m goin here)

And make no mistake, sir….I see what ya doin. You started off with some nigga shit, then did some pimp shit, then finished off with some real nigga shit. I see you, king…like clockwork you knocked them dominoes down in like 5 days.

“This for my niggas who like road. Covid ain have no curfew so do your thing, beloveds. Be safe tho”- Brave

Then you was like…

“…and then imma put 5 women in Cabinet cause gals. Especially Glenys Hanna Martin….nigga name Drew from 10YS like her and he aight wit me.” – Brave

…then the cherry on top just so niggas knew you was outside….

“We ga get this hospital sorted ASAP….but, Ms. Walker….. on the low this fit crispy tho right? Like….Minnis NEVER style like this before am I lyin?” – also Brave

So for the time you’ve been there I’m not mad and I hope you can maintain this as time goes on cause right now we’re tired and lagging so forward is all we have at the moment.

In fact you should be no stranger to what it takes to grasp the moment. Word on the street is you’re a St Johns College Alumni. The St. Johns mantra is “Respice, Adspice, Prospice” which means, ” Look to the past, present and Future”. A FAR better mantra than the one Kingsway Went with…

“Promise a pool, sell cookies, have steak out, repeat” – Kingsways mantra….this never sat right with me

Know why I fuck with you (for now) Brave?

Cause not ONE St. Johns student sent me ANY paraphernalia concerning your old stomping grounds and we have 2 St. Johns alumni IN 10YS. I had to find out for myself. Y’all ain shoot no video trying to explain who all been to St. Johns. Y’all ain put up no before and after pics of y’all ex students to try convince niggas to bring their kids there. St. Johns niggas read you got elected and was like….

“Oh Brave got elected. Nice. Let me carry on my day and not aggressively like man on all of my social media because who cares.”

Not that OTHER crew.

Minnis got elected and IMMEDIATELY they was on some….

“Well….it’s time to like man for the 4th time this month! Anyone seen my lube? Am I out of lube?”

Nah….all my boys from St. Johns was real niggas. I won’t even call their names cause they don’t like that attention and spotlight. I wanna believe you’re just like them. Made a few mistakes. Did some dumb or ill advised shit and sorry about it. You just wanna move on to a new day. So I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt because I literally have no choice and I choose to be hopeful rather than hateful.

I think we’re all hoping that you do the right thing and prove us wrong. And that will take some integrity, that will take some honesty and most of all it will mean redefining the status quo.

That shit is gonna take courage.

So, Prime Minister….be brave…