How The FNM & PLP Can Win The Next Election (And How We Got Here)

By Drew

Remember the war for Green Parrot Nassau Side? Remember when we lost it for like 6-10 months one year? If you remember then congratulations, you’re old. If you have no clue what I’m talking about, and you’re my age, then chances are you were the problem. The rest of you are too young to remember.

“The hell is a ‘Green Parrot’? Y’all was partying at Adastra Gardens, my nigga? Wild.” #YaMaWIld

I’ll tell the tale: For almost a year we lost Green Parrot to violent jungless and thugs because Green Parrot had the brilliant idea to stop playing top 40 music, brought in a DJ and all he played was old school reggae and gangster rap. Had the normal Green Parrot goers shook.

Imagine you’re in this environment and the song goes, “…..that’s why I fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker!” #ThatWouldBeLowkeyLitTho #ButNiggas

Long story short, after the 3rd or 4th stabbing/casual dining murder, they had to solve the issue. The question on all of our minds at that time as it is now, as we look at our present political situation, is the same: How in the cinnamon toast shit did we get here? And how do we course correct? Well….I’m here to help….starting with the FNM.

If you’re thinking, “Um who tell this fake blogging nigga he qualified to even HAVE this conversation?”, then you’re absolutely right. I am NOT the nigga with any knowledge, experience and sense to be in ANY political conversation. If you want facts or deep throat political info I’d suggest you go to the Schin Nguyens and the like. I hate writing shit like this cause it’s not as fun as the other stuff.

I legit be home like….

“…how can I write 2,000 words on how majestic womens asses look in leggings? Or wait….”7 Bahamian condiments you can use during sex!”- Me #NotKidding

But I, like most of you, have been pulled into this political world because it’s been quite the shitty 4 years in America AND here.

It’s been exhausting.

Just looking at Minnis and Renward Wells stresses me out at this point. Especially Renward….

This is the most bush mechanic ass face that I’ve ever seen on God

So, that being said, if the FNM wanna win the next election first thing you do is get rid of Hubert Minnis. The man was a mistake.

Lemme let that breathe cause I know some of y’all still love this nigga despite his bullshit.

Looka them, ready to row….


I love that the argument is always, “Could you have done any better?”

…Beloved, no. The answer is a clear no.

NO I couldn’t do any better. But I ALSO SHOULDN’T BE PRIME MINISTER. TF? Let’s be honest. The last election y’all voted party over people. I figured that out when Fred Mitchell lost Fox Hill. And, let me be clear, that man shoulda been prime minister LONG time but because “he doesn’t have a family/wife” y’all went with the guy that studied and handled vaginas professionally most of his adult life.

Y’all legit said….

“Fred is always the smartest guy in the room, speaks well, looks out for the poor and disenfranchised but Minnis rich and really good at vaginas, bey…..this tough.” #IsIt?

So ya, Minnis gotta go.

And I knew he was gonna lose when the white Bahamians turned on him.

Son….when white Bahamians are like, “What in the actual fuck the FNM doin?”, then you know the party doin shit. Conchy Joe’s is be on the timeline WILDIN….but they wildin within reason tho.

Y’all ain low.

“Bruh I almost wan vote PLP where he doing so much shit……almost…..almost” #Y’allAinThereYet

Who should run and could possibly beat Brave “My grandparents was dead broke and couldn’t read and write so that should be a good enough reason to vote for me” Davis?

I’m sorry, but given the times we’re in, and if you’re reading the global room, I would happily vote for a Duane Sands and a Loretta Butler Turner ticket. Now I know the consensus is Duane is an asshole and Loretta is difficult (not my consensus, thas y’all own cause me and Loretta used to fake date so watch ya mouth round me. Respectfully)

If that’s your opinion then stand in your truth…..but, ummmmm

This nigga don’t even take questions from the press no more and stopped doing it DURING A GODDAMN PANDEMIC #IsThisYourKing?

My thing is, choose your asshole.

You want the present Vagina expert or a doctor that had valid, clear and logical views on how we should have handled the pandemic and a woman who should have won OVER Minnis in the first damn place. And this is not me being biased towards Loretta because we fake not dated for a while,

I’m over her now and happy with my new not boo….

Looka my lightskin Anita Baker with her fine ass. I wan PLPlease her so bad. Sigh #Timing

Next, legalize marijuana.

Not medically…..the whole way.

Beloved, no one cares. Y’all act like if they legalize weed tomorrow that people who never had an inkling to smoke weed in their life are gonna be out here on some….

Um weed doesn’t do this…..crack and red Eleuthera women do this #Respectfully

What are the effects of weed?

“Horny, happy, Sleepy….thats it” – Katt Williams #SomeOfY’allNeedThat

If Minnis legalizes coke TODAY (The way he is carry on, considering it’s a white American drug of choice, would we really be shocked?)…..who is going to do coke just cause its legal?

Like who are these people so overjoyed over it being legal that that’s gonna sway their minds? Punching yourself in the penis is perfectly legal so pray tell why there isn’t more personal penis punching?


How much money would we have had as a country (after the politicians got their cut) if weed was legalized LONG time before this pandemic? But y’all wanna listen to the Christian council…

Niggas got an online degree in white Jesus and y’all have them forming Covid Committees? The niggas who rhyme stuff and take 10% of your check every Sunday? Lol…..K

Another way the FNM can win is if they actually give the people a plan. Niggas have said nothing about any plan outside of, “Tourism soon open fully…..relax”.

Legit Jasper would be like, “Is there a plan for the economy? Are there any industries we are looking at to start building up to replace tourism in the future? Will you be giving small business owners and entrepreneurs grants to be business owners so they can build wealth?”


“….did….did this heffa not hear me say hotels soon open fully? Is it drugs? Is it drugs this woman on?” – Minnis #HeGoodAtVaginasTho

And, while we’re at it, gut the whole party of whose not making sense tho, to be fair, they seem to be doing that themselves.

I told y’all for 3 articles her lips was bothering me now look….smt…my mind don’t lead me wrong

How bad are you doing as PM when Halson “On the fence concerning marital rape” Moultrie is like…

“Not sure if I believe marital rape is a thing but, bruh…..I KNOW Ine on Minnis run”- the “Not sure if I believe in marital rape” Nigga

My other ideas are pedestrian: Put young intelligent people in the party, get rid of these old ass tiefin lawyers, doctors and the lot. Accept the fact that WE ARE NOT OUR PARENTS.

Y’all treat us, BOTH parties, like we are the generation of ZNS, TV 13 where for one hour a day we got fed whatever the fuck y’all decided to feed us, true or not, and then bing….see you again at 11pm.

Brave, Hubert…..y’all…..y’all know we have google and shit right? Y’all know we have actual computers in our pockets right? Y’all say shit at 12pm and by 12:05 I’m getting a whatsapp group text confirming y’all lying. And I know ALL politicians lie but bruh….this last set disrespectful with it.

Niggas will legit be like

“We are ordering 28 Parrot PF728000 ANAFI Drones totaling $10,000 a piece for the safety of The Bahamas”

….the drone….

“I’m a man of many wishes and I hope my premonition misses. But what I really feel, my eyes won’t let me hide…” – Stevie Wonder, seeing the bullshit #WeHaveGoogle

I’m a simple man.

On an island with 364 days of sunlight I figure we should get shit like solar panels….I don’t know…..maybe build a factory, thus, creating jobs and lowering the price of power on an island with 364 DAYS OF SUN MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

Its like niggas look outside and choose violence.

“….this plenty sun, bey. Anyway let’s order 4 more gas generators….and more gas cause that been makin sense” – Bahamian Politicians

If the FNM can do ALL those things (and I’m sure y’all will list more in the comments) then maybe…JUST maybe y’all can win this election. Cause y’all really have a Green Parrot problem at the end of the day. Know how we got Green Parrot back from the Jungless and thug niggas?

They changed the music.

That’s it.

They found out niggas with guns don’t like Taylor Swift and Billie Eilish. Can you imagine?

“I wan stab this nigga for steppin on my Jordans but the way Billie Eilish singing this tune hitting different.”

Change your tune cause the music you’re playing and the Dj y’all have playing it are dangerous and BEEN found wanting. He has plunged us into chaos and bullshit. Time to change the music, the dj and half your staff…..then you can win back the people you need to vote for you before it’s too late.

But that’s me.

How can the PLP win the election?

Shut Brave up…..he talkin too much about shit he think will get him re-elected or respected. If you’re reading the room Bahamians will vote y’all in regardless, my nigga. LITERALLY say less.

That’s it….thats all.

Be safe tho