5 Things Bahamian Women Need To Normalize In Relationships/Marriage

By Drew

Know whats funny about this? Had I not written this women would have been quite fine. They would have legit carried on the rest of December shading niggas while embellishing my words….

“Une hear what #FridaysWithAndrew said last week aye? Eat me out every morning and buy me a Birkin, nigga! #AndThatsOnPeriodt” #IneSayThat

So y’all don’t even get a long witty intro cause y’all too like slackness. Let’s get into it…

Apologize When You’re Wrong

Its well documented how I feel about Helen Fola Sade Adu aka My Wife aka Not Jahzino wife. She is my queen. However, if we’re giving people flowers, there has been one moment by one queen that was so seismic an event that I personally feel she should be given the purple heart or the Presidential Medal Of Freedom.

Gentleman, come look at this…..

Look at it….its beautiful. Fuck I said I wouldn’t cry but….

Right now niggas are looking at that like….

Same, king. Same

…and women are looking at that pic like…

What do I mean?

I mean that in 1994 a young Anita Baker apologized. She fucking did it. She didn’t weaponize the apology to spring into another thing niggas dead 5 years ago to somehow discredit or nullify the initial apology. She apologized….AT LENGTH.

Let me be clear: women apologize. That’s just a fact.

The issue here is y’all don’t apologize with the same energy that you require of US when WE fuck up. When we mess up? That’s 3 hours of this….

“…I need you understand, in granular details, why I’m angry and I know u said sorry 8 times in this convo but I REALLY want you to feel and understand how I feel…So I made this powerpoint…..”

That’s y’all.

But when women fuck up?

“…..sorry nigga…..thats what you wanted?…..cause let’s not act like in 2010 you wasn’t on some bullshit too…” – y’all

Same way we gotta buy flowers and walk on eggshells and be extra and discuss it for 14 days because “you need to get the energy out via long ass discussions” is the same treatment we want.

Actually, that’s not true…..we don’t even want that.

Know what we want? Know what helps when you’re categorically and objectively wrong?

If you don’t understand this picture then you’re the problem

If you’re wrong say you’re sorry the way you want us to. That’s all.

Have (More) Sex With Your Man

Let me preface this by saying I’m not talking about ALL men. I know there are men out there that will watch you pick up the kids, handle homework, feed the little terrorists, put them to bed then he crawls in bed with you, half drunk from the bar he was at all evening, poking you in the back asking for sex.

No, not that nigga.

You know the type….

THIS nigga. Fuck him forever for disrespecting Jill Scott and I mean that

HOWEVER….if you have a good man that is trying his best and handling you right and helping out? How are you not fucking this nigga? What blows my mind is these women will have a good man, not fuck him, he cheats, then when he inevitably gets caught (Cause he probably just stopped caring) they come on social media on some….

“You can give a man the world and he will still cheat on you. Bahamian niggas ain shit!!”

And let me be 100% transparent with you: If you are not having sex with your GOOD man then I 100% agree with him cheating on you.

Is it wrong to cheat and should he have just left before disrespecting you?

Absolutely.

There’s no reason for cheating. Its cognitive dissonance: I can agree that cheating is wrong with the same energy that I can understand why these niggas cheated. If women were honest, their conversations would sound different.

“Well I didn’t have sex with him but I figured since I had a great job and was pretty and smart that would be enough to keep him home. Weird how my masters degree in candle making wasn’t enough for him.”

A way to a man’s heart is not in his stomach: It’s in his dick. He’s hungry after he cums not before.

Selah.

Give Men Space

I have 2 places of peace: The gym and my living room alone listening to music and having a drink. Not all men are me obviously. Some men play pool, some men are obsessed with sports, and some men are the false god Ricardo Wells and enjoy watching the world burn.

Nigga been watching US politics like a romantic comedy. There’s nothing this nigga loves more than political unrest and chaos.

Now, I’m not saying you should endure some nigga who gets active with his hobbies ALL day and ignores you.

Never that.

But jesus Christ give niggas a minute when they get home to just destress. No nigga wants to come home to….

“OK BABY SO LET ME TELL YOU EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY THAT I ALREADY TEXTED YOU ALL DAY BUT THINK YOU NEED ANOTHER SUMMARY. SO….”

Beloved, if we have been texting ALL day, we did the, “Hey babe just checking in”, 10 minute call, then why we need to talk the SECOND I get home? Niggas just want legit like 10mins.

But it’s beyond just getting home.

Once every week or every 2 weeks can niggas just not be around you without judgment? You can hang with a chick for a month seeing her every day and the second you say, “I think I’m gonna go to the bar and watch the game for a bit by myself”, this them….

“Don’t get a woman used to a vibe you’re not prepared to maintain. #TellThemHoesTheyCanHaveYou #YourShitIsAtYourMothersHouse”

Beloved, Queen……we love you. But we love ourselves too. We just need a quick sec to miss you. I can’t miss you if you’re on top of me 24/7.

It’s not personal.

Say What You Mean And Mean What You Say

I’m a different nigga. But I haven’t always been this. I’ve been hardened by years of women lying. Back in my 20’s if I asked a woman what was wrong and she responded with, “Nothing” when CLEARLY something was wrong?

Son….I was out here like…

“No, Rebecca I won’t let you do this. Use me as a vessel for your tears. Let the words of your lips cleanse the rotten part of me that has caused you pain. Talk to me, perfect queen.”

….me now?

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Her: “…I’m fine”

Me:

“…ok cool. You feelin like KFC or Popeyes? I almost feel like ribs but ine know. You ain talkin so I guess ribs it is!!” #IneLosinSleep

I’m too old to be wrestling info out of educated women with sense.

How you online bragging about your degrees and accomplishments and how independent you are and how any nigga would be lucky to have you? Then, when the same nigga reaches out to start a conversation about what’s bothering YOU, you decide to have the maturity of a Nickelodeon special?

Y’all 35 out here saying, “I’m fine”?

lol…y’all ga “Don’t worry about it” y’all asses straight to your 37th cat adoption I promise.

You still “fine” beloved or you ready to talk now? Cause only one of these pussies not getting fed, queen.” #Respectfully

Now if you dealin with a nigga that doesn’t communicate then that’s a separate issue. Either run the nigga or call up lightskin Jesus aka Harrison Thompson for some counseling.

Otherwise?

Pray that nigga ain me cause I am a Capricorn first, beloved. We invented “Unbothered”.

“Good news, boys! The wife is refusing to engage in healthy dialogue concerning whatever is bothering her. So GUESS WHO GETS TO PLAY PS5 IN PEACE!!! Lmao…What we playin?”

Do you tho.

Stop Listening To Your Friends

Let me get this straight: You went to Felicia, who you said you think stole $100 from you, can’t keep a man, is presently sleeping with a married nigga….for free….and sleeps on a mattress without a bed frame…..thats who you went to for “advice” about us?

Felicia is my judge?

…FELICIA IS MY JUDGE? HER? FOR REAL? HER?!?!?

Bruh….stop.

One thing bout my friend circle they will tell me bout my ass. There’s nothing Dakarai loves to do more than tell me I was wrong about something. But y’all don’t have those friends.

See I’ve known Dakarai and Nal from I was 19. You met your current best friend last year after falling out with your last best friend of 3 years.

We are not the same.

Oh my god I love you guys! I can’t believe we’ve been best friends only 5 weeks!
“How could she sleep with my boyfriend? She was my best friend!” #NoSheWasnt

And y’all is pick the gals who single and can’t find a nigga to save their life. How you talking to her about us when SHE don’t have an “us”?

Ok let me simplify this.

Imagine you have a broken window in your car. Why would you call a Pastor to fix it? Its not that your pastor isn’t a good person. Its not that he won’t listen to you talk about the window. Its just that he’s not trained nor has he had experience with fixing broken windows.

Some of y’all ain even smart enough to call a pastor with sense to atleast stay with you while someone else fix the window.

…this the PASTOR you call to fix the window? We’re beyond the “he can’t fix your window” point I was making. But THIS the pastor? Lol….K

Deal with your shit IN HOUSE. Talk. Communicate. And if you need a mediator….STILL DON’T CALL YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS.

Please don’t misunderstand me: We ALL need to vent from time to time. We all need to talk shit about the person we love just to clear our heads. That’s normal and natural. And we filthy with it too….

“Bruh this big head idiot of a girlfriend I have so retarded. SMT….anyway lemme see what she wan eat with her dumb ass” – Niggas #Y’allDOItToo

Shit is healthy.

I’m just saying maybe draw the line at letting your friends dictate how our relationship is going. Stop letting them gas you with bullshit then, when you’re inevitably single and lonely right along with them, you shocked.

Talk to your man. Reason with your man. That’s Y’ALL business, not the streets.

As I said in the previous article, NO WOMAN is that perfect to do all these things every day all day.That’s impossible. The same way no man can be THAT perfect all the time. But trust me men are easy. Give him a BJ on the drive home from having to endure you’re weird friends for hours. He deserves that.

“No no babe I’m enjoying this vegan meal and gossiping about people I don’t know for 5 hrs over wine I don’t drink”, said no nigga ever #SomeOfY’allCouplesWeird

I’m just asking you to normalize it SOMETIMES.

And, to the ladies who think I’m asking too much……ask yourself why you’re mad at this article and not the one last week Friday about the guys?

Exactly.

Be safe tho

Comments