For the Bahamian Fathers Who Aren’t Here (Happy Fathers Day, Beloved)
Don’t worry this article won’t be long. How or why y’all read ALL of my articles blows my mind. Let me take this time to thank y’all for supporting the brand and what we are attempting to do for the culture.
I thought I’d take this time to acknowledge those of us without fathers today. For the majority of people today, they will buy socks, shirts, underwear and crabby for the man that raised them/kinda raised them but didn’t, but the past is the past.
Oh, the crabby.
I was driving today (Saturday) and thinking about my dad who has passed due to cancer. Oh, for the Christians and “Christians” I’m about to curse….clog your mental ears….
Today (tomorrow) is gonna be tough.
For a lot of us our dads have been gone for a long time. For some it was the past 5 years, some longer. And for some they never knew theirs and it’s a paradoxical time. I don’t understand all of your struggles. But I do understand the, “not being close to your dad when you could have”, crew.
We out here strong.
I’m not about to get into my personal shit and neither should you. Your time with or without your dad is your business. I just wanted to check in on those of us without one today. Without the men that raised/helped in making us.
Bahamian men are never easy.
Every interaction with a father is unique. There is some psychology there to be spoken of in terms of the island experience and fatherhood. The sweethearting culture that leads to children born in homes where dad helped but had another family.
Or worst: Didn’t help.
Hard being the “other” family. Probably how Sammy’s Chicken feels when people bring up Bamboo.
Listen, I’m not a therapist. I can’t bring solace to anyone when I’m not 100% ok with my dads loss yet. But, I just wanted all the the Bahamians that lost their dad to the inevitable demon known as death to know…you’re not alone.
Not in the creepy way….
Nah, nothing creepy. Just know you’re not alone in being in a weird space today.
You’re not alone in being torn.
There’s a lot of us out there missing the good dads that threw the ball around…
The dad that was distant but you could always count on him…
The dad that was older but you remember his smell (RIP Mr. Moxey)…
The dad that didn’t spend time and was cold but somehow you knew he loved you…
The dad that you never knew long enough to form an emotionally intelligent decision as to how you should feel about him being dead…
To the fathers that abused us and through the grace and power of sheer might we found it in us to forgive him….
To any I have missed with our own and unique situations and circumstances, just know our tears collect along the same river of hope that we’ll be better parents. That our pain and their death was not in vain. That we are ok.
And if you’re not……I hope this helps.
And if I’m allowed to be selfish if only for today…