What Bahamian Men (Really) Want From Our Women

By Drew

Pick up any magazine, read any blog post and there are a group of people that think they know what men want. What makes me laugh is it’s always some woke intellectual that thinks they know but they have no clue what men want because, well….

Unless that’s a penis in a blanket under there…..this woman has no dick so….. #WeirdHowThatWorks

Then there’s always some fake woke “feminist” nigga on Facebook agreeing with everything women say because he thinks that will get him brownie points or likes.

“Men are trash and we’ve always been trash. Women are perfect and deserve the world always forever! Plus Gayle King didn’t even do anything wrong at all…..” #ThatsProbablyHowTheyTypeForReal

There’s always that one guy. Needs women to clap for him to validate his bitchassness.

Ya thas them

More recently the most popular one was Steve Harvey and that stupid book he wrote that gals thought was the Bible…

Y’all let this thrice divorced, big lip, cant read a card, meeting with Trump, coon ass nigga tell y’all how to get a man….ine forget. #AllThemStillSingle

Make no mistake, I’m not bitch nigga enough to play the “male feminist” role. I don’t have the clout enough to write and sell a book to swing gals. And I’m not good looking enough to make a video nodding and agreeing with y’all just to get pussy. I’m just a nigga that speaks fluent nigga and wanna just let y’all know what Bahamian men REALLY want.

No cap

Gents, if we’re being honest, we are kinda to blame for this global miscommunication. We confused women when we let shit like this slide….

…it don’t even say “good sex” and y’all wonder why she boring in bed. Ya hate to see it

When we allowed women to think our wants and needs were so inconsequential they treated us accordingly. Now you have women out here thinking they can be knowingly obtuse without repercussions. Mens wants and needs are just as vast and diverse….we just don’t voice them as much as you do because you don’t respect our wants and needs and when we try and communicate those know what happens?

You weaponize them.

Men want to be able to be emotional/vulnerable with no judgement. You can’t tell me to communicate and open up more and then when I do, days later when row day come….

“You cant empty the garbage when I ask but when you was snotty on the couch crying bout your daddy not hugging you you want me listen tho right? THIS NIGGA!”

Respect our feelings too.

If we tell you something bothers us or we’re uncomfortable with a situation all we ask is that you offer that same amount of respect that you expect from us.

And maybe learn to apologize.

Oh, I forgot women may be reading this.

I got y’all….

Ladies, an apology is a written or spoken expression of one’s regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another #iHopeThisHelps #TryItOutSometime

And no, ladies, loudly screaming, “My bad, bey…what else you want?” is not an apology. Keep that SAME energy y’all have when we apologize and y’all hit us with the…

“…but do you get why I’m mad tho? I know you apologized 4 times during this conversation but let’s unpack this for another 3hrs during the NFL playoffs until I feel like we can move forward”

If we gotta get on our hands and knees post-apology then get low, beloved.

Also, do us a favor…..stop the games.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. I’m sorry but I’m 38….I’ve been living this, “I’m Fine” shit for 20 years….I think we can just be adults and say what the fuck is on our minds now.

Don’t act like you don’t know what “I’m Fine” is or means. It’s the answer to any question we ask when you’re mad at us for God knows what concerning God knows who but WE’RE supposed to read your mind and WE’RE the ones that don’t know how to communicate? Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be direct, be a bit more logical and stop bringing feelings to a facts fight because there’s NOTHING worse than a woman that starts a sentence off with, “I just feel like….”.

When we hear that, in our minds we’re like….

…but on the outside we’re like…

Science says that single tear is rage, hate and regret leaving our bodies so we can have the patience to hear whatever bullshit comes next

When we hear those 4 words we know NOTHING logical or factual is about to come out of your moths. It’s just gonna be feelings based on emotions that came out of a unicorns vagina because of the chicken valley.

Did that sentence confuse you?

EXACTLY…..welcome to our world.

And don’t misunderstand me, your feelings matter. Your emotions matter and you have every right to come to your man and express those things. We are a team. We are equals. And we should treat each other accordingly.

But how many arguments can be avoided by separating feelings and emotions from facts and logic?

We’ll be more open to the conversation if it makes sense. Just be honest from rip and lets get into it. We don’t want the labor pains we just want the baby.

“Whats really hood, my guy? You been coming home late. You to work more than you’re home. We don’t fuck like we used to. What’s good, my nigga?”

That may seem aggressive but read that caption again……all tangible undeniable facts…..now this is how that conversation goes in real life….

“I came home today and there was a heaviness on my heart. I was thinking about me losing a spelling bee in grade 7 and how that heaviness felt. I’m feeling that with you today. I just feel like…..”

Bruh….why are you waterboarding me with this intro?


The reality is women can’t take male honesty. Its why we shut down. Its why we lie.  Its why we sell dreams.

And don’t confuse me….ALL of the above are wrong to do. I’m not making excuses. What I hate about these conversations is y’all will justify female transgressions REAL fucking quick, and have a chorus of women behind you cheering you on…..


But when men fuck up and we try and defend them?

Niggas will legit be like, “I mean that nigga probably cheated cause she didn’t fuck him for 8 months so…”



Police don’t go to murder scenes and just be like….

Murder is murder soooo……Pick up the body. Mop up all this. Case closed

No….they investigate. What was the motive? Why did someone shoot this nigga 28 times? Were there witnesses? Not everything is so cut and dry that men aren’t allowed to express themselves.

And to all you women saying you can take male honesty….you can’t. You’re not ready for a nigga to answer you honestly over simple questions.


You sure, queen?

You ready to ask a nigga how you look in your too tight dress and he responds…

“You’ve definitely put on some weight so thats probably why its so tight. But you BEEN promising to hit the gym for months but you lazy as shit but….ya….that dress ain for you, beloved”


Bellies breaking down everywhere.

So, to avoid the inevitable fall out from that level of truth?

“You look amazing, babes. These hoes ain ready!!” #YesTheyAre #TheyAreVeryReadyInFact

Now, to be fair, y’all lie to us too.

I’ve never once believed the pussy was mine after a woman said it. Its 2020….half the time ine even sure if these gals single or not let alone assume I could claim her vagina parts.

Y’all out here wildin.

“…hold on girl. “Dinner” is calling me and I ain even text “BPL Bill” back yet. Soon as “GhettoGoodDickNigga” leave I ga pass by you” #Y’allWIld “

Also, ladies….listen to your man. Not obey….calm down, feminists (Kasmine).

LISTEN to your man.

If we tell you a nigga tryna fuck you…..we’re right. Cut the bullshit with all this….

“Oh my GOD I’ve known Brad since I was a child. He’s like a brother to me he would NEVER try that. I’m safe!” #NoTheFuckYou’reNot

No….you’re in danger.

That’s like a lion dating a gazelle and the gazelle out here talkin about…..

“Leo, he’s a lion but he’s not like the other lions. I’ve known him a long time….he wouldn’t try it”

….then right when row day come and you upset…..

I don’t even know who the Cheetah nigga is but I probably warned you about him too. Smt

We know you’re in danger because we know how we got you. We was in them dms too. You know how many relationships I’ve waited out? Lil random check ins to see if that nigga still doin his job….

“Everything ok with you and hubby? I’m here if you wanna fuck me and get over that nigga real quick talk”

And for all my queens sick and tired of your man watching porn or believing that shit is real, a word of advice: Maybe watch some porn WITH him.

Let me get this straight: Your man watches porn. You wanna have sex with your man. He wants to try things that you’ve never done or tried and not WILLING to give a chance…..but the porn has to stop?

I can’t go on my job, they TELL me what to do to get a full weeks check and then I respond with….

“I must stay ALL day to work AND be productive? I’m not like those OTHER employees that just do what you want because you “pay me”. Fuck outta here!”

Sounds crazy right?

I have 2 rules in bed: Nothing in and or around my ass and no extra niggas.

That’s it. Those are my rules.

I used to have more but understand that we cant talk “longevity” and “commitment” and “forever” if we don’t mix shit up sometimes. Even your job does events, buys lunch from time to time, work parties etc cause they realize people will get bored doing the same thing every fucking day.

How does this NOT apply to your sex life?

One of the wisest men on this island once said, “Some of these women need to learn some tricks. Tricks are not for kids, they’re for adults!”

Me when I read those words #Church!

Lastly….watch your friends. Not all these gals want the best for you.

Oh, and to the friends of our girlfriends/wives/sweethearts….we know ALL your business. I know she promised not to tell no one but, she lied. Niggas be laid up in the apartment with vagina juice still on the dick and your girl in there on some…

“…so why Nicole cheating on Larry with a WOMAN?!?! And she BEEN doin this. Don’t tell no one tho cause she tell me keep that quiet”

Y’all give us granular details on these people, usually bad, and 9 times out of 10 Y’ALL don’t like these gals but when row day or judgment day come THESE the women who are judging ME??

The woman who can’t keep a man who you said you tired of lending her money cause she don’t pay no one back AND she spread a rumor bout you and lied about it but you took her back because y’all been “best friends” for 3 months now?

Really, nigga?

This is with whom you choose to place your faith?

If we can’t handle our shit indoors and keep the wolves outside then we’re doomed to fail. If we warn you bout your friends then please…take heed. We’re seeing shit from the outside looking in.

Men want loyalty, companionship, trust, love, affection, compliments….and that’s a big one. When was the last time you told your nigga he was sexy? Grab that niggas dick at a family function to maintain balance and clarity within the household.

….or if you wanna get pregnant. Either or

Be a partner. Pour into me. Let’s plan and make goals together. Call me on my bullshit. Have a hobby. Have an opinion beyond the zeitgeist. Challenge me. Know what you want. Make ME feel attractive sometimes.

But….most importantly, understand one thing….

…..never disturb a nigga during a heated Madden/NBA2K online match. It’s disrespectful to the community and I want more for us.

Ladies, I hope this helps.

Gentleman, you’re welcome.

Be safe tho