By Drew
Its 2020, beloved. Look at us…..just look at us. It’s January 16th and half of us have already cheated on the diet we started on the 6th……y’all know why I said the 6th, don’t play stupid.
I know how y’all go.
That nigga you was supposed to cut off with the non committal (quality) penis still hanging round. That gal with the boyfriend still breaking your belly down with their yuletide family pics, but you let her come over the other night to smash because habits and what not.
Ween change shit.
I’ll say this tho….there’s a lot we NEED to change….
So, with that being said, lets get into the things Bahamians HAVE to stop doing in 2020.
Please, and I can’t stress this enough, stop being dumb on HeadKnowles
HeadKnowles was created for us to come together as a community, as an island and as a people to share our thoughts, services, opinions, etc amongst our brothers and sisters in the Bahamas in a controlled environment on Facebook. It was for us to grow and have a central place for us to share. And do not misunderstand me, it has been, and still now, ALL of those things. But it’s also a place for some of the more retarded amongst us to ask dumb shit like…
Will y’all PLEASE come get y’all mommy/daddy?
I know we have a D average but goddamn. Niggas will open up their GOOGLE CHROME BROWSER….
….Y’all don’t hear me in this church this morning……let me say it a little louder cause someone in the back needs to hear this…
People…oh my sweet sweet Bahamian people who I love so much; Google your questions before you ask them in the name of Peter Turnquest. Please don’t come on Perry Christie internet and ask dumb shit like…
Know how anyone that answers you is gonna get the answers to your questions???
ON GOOGLE…..THEY ARE GOING TO GOOGLE IT.
Yes, yes I know….I know. It shouldn’t bother me this much and if I don’t wanna see it I should just come out the group but no, I wont. And y’all know why.
Why are 70% of us in that group?
Exactly.
For the odd chance someone talks shit about a company we too scared or ain man/woman enough to talk shit about publicly, and you see that sweet sweet image on the thread that says “121 comments 88 shares” which for Bahamians means, “they rowin”….and then we all turn into this guy….
Don’t look at me like I’m the only one.
And its not only them I have beef with. I also need to address y’all niggas in….
Tings You Gat For Sale/Mamas Marketplace
Don’t get it twisted: BOTH these pages are AMAZING if you’re trying to find apartments, technology, jewellery, clothes and, of course, “Tingz”. However…what the fuck is this shit y’all is do?
Beloved….why I have to DM you for the price? Bruh….this is Facebook, not some back alley through Arundel St with some nigga trying to sell me coke. Why do I have to talk to you? Why we whispering about this price? Why is this price a secret? Did someone die in the apartment? Does the aesthetic of my facebook profile affect the price of the apartment?
But they aren’t even the worse. My favorite is when they just put the price as $1. A whole 2010 Escalade, fully equipped with sunroof and a rottweiler in the back for safety for $1.
And don’t get me started on the apartments. Y’all WILD with some of these prices.
Lol…Nigga thats a room.
Weed ain even decriminalize yet and y’all out here high as giraffe dick with these prices. Y’all almost as high as some of these people that THINK they are social media influencers….
(Fake) Social Media Influencers
Ladies and Gentlemen: let’s be super clear……one funny social media status/story does NOT an influencer make. I’m seeing a lot of y’all out here givin up your whole life on social media, calling yourself influencers but haven’t collected ONE check.
Here’s my theory, and keep in mind I’ve been known to be wrong: If you can’t sustain your present lifestyle off of your social media “influence”, or you don’t inspire anyone to make the moves you’re presently making in promotion of a business, then you are NOT an influencer……plenty people just know you and gas you into thinking your opinion matters is all.
In essence: Don’t quit your day job because you got 300 likes off a joke you stole off twitter that you reworded to make it sound Bahamian.
Now don’t misunderstand me: We have influencers on this island. Timothy aka TIMMMMMAAAAYYYY, Ianthia, SawyerBoy, Latoya Dean, Kedar Clarke, Aneka Stewart (and a few more but I don’t know names). These are people who, when I see them up to something I’m like….
People flock to their pages, Facebook/Instagram, to see what the hell they up to because they are the movers and shakers of the island. If Janelle Sands, Virginia “Give me soca or give me death” Chan and Ryan Knowles are the cool kids (Well known with no agenda), then the above mentioned are the popular kids. Same energy just different motives…..all cool as fuck.
Don’t look at me like that, Virginia…..you know what I mean….
Notice I didn’t put ANY other member of 10thYearSeniors on that list besides Timothy.
Know why?
Cause we all have regular ass jobs. Know why me and Dakarai don’t podcast a lot or why my articles come out whenever the hell I want? Cause we tired, king. All of us have 9-5’s, kids, families, etc. NONE of us could sustain any kind of lifestyle based on this 10thYearSeniors blog. Trust me when I say we do this for the love and for the culture. Don’t run yourself up on brakes tryna clout stunt for social media thinking this shit is lucrative. That’s how you end up homeless.
Don’t quit your day job, beloved cause you’ll go from this….
…..to this….
….and those fans you thought you had gonna be like…..
Stay woke….but please…not too woke because y’all really need to…
LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS
Hear me out.
I don’t watch Power. I’ve never watched it nor will I ever watch it because I feel like it’s starring a lightskin emotional nigga that I just don’t believe is gangster.
I’m trippin?
I’m being closed minded?
Lol….K….press play on the this link right quick.
But, ya know what I do when I’m online and see people posting about Power?
Nada. Nothing. 0.
I’m the Christian council when they see reports of rampant island wide peodophilia….I’m silent.
Why cant the rest of you do the same? YES YOU. If you made a post talking about…
Hey….shut up.
If you don’t watch it then don’t watch it, beloved. There’s nothing more annoying than someone who wants to be contrarian just for the sake of being so. Y’all know the type.
If they’re atheist you’re gonna hear about it.
Vegan? You better don’t post meat on your page cause you’re about to get an epistle. God forbid you do an activity with your kids that they don’t approve of cause whew boy….
And the thing that blows my mind….THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WITH NO KIDS OR ANY KIND OF EXPERIENCE WITH WHATEVER YOU’RE DISCUSSING!
How you commenting about the state of marriage in the Bahamas on someone else page/profile when you been single since Hurricane Andrew and CLEARLY no one on your run? But you wanna crawl on someone else page talking about, “Another date? Lol…you don’t get tired of trying? Wouldn’t have been me”
Fucking pardon?
Y’all know y’all can just keep scrolling right?
I swear to Mark Zuckerburg if you press the down arrow on your laptop you can see something you dislike for no reason due to your loneliness, sadness and the fact that you’re probably unlovable as a person and just keep it movin.
Oh ya…it’s the latest thing…watch…
….I KNOW!….Crazy right?
And please….post ANYTHING you want on your social media….thats your right. I will forever defend your right to post whatever is on your heart on your own shit. But stop coming under peoples post when they are trying to find some slither of happiness in a Hubert Minnis world by shitting on their post with your “I haven’t had sex in months” thoughts that NO ONE asked for. Y’all don’t know how pressed I was during the finale of Game of Thrones, bey.
I read those comments like….
My Instagram is IGNORANT as fuck. I think me and Bravo are secretly running a competition as to who can get to hell faster to be honest. But that’s us. Block and delete us, beloved. Like the gays say: No shade no tea….all the best.
But please…in the name of Jesus….let people enjoy their anime, comics, inappropriate jokes, selfies, Netflix series, food, music, sports teams, proclivities…whatever it is. Leave them alone……..publicly……..
…….and just screenshot it, put it in the group chat and bash them privately amongst friends like a civilized person the fuck?
Lets love each other. Be good to each other. Be kind.
And, in the words of Phonte, “Break bread with your fellow man. Show love but look out for your heart. And always take care of home. Because home is where charity starts”
Love y’all….glad we all made it to 2020 but…
Be safe tho
