Ratchetcast: Punch-Out In Portugal, Here Come The Wags


This week was nothing short of lit in the wonderful world of ratchet TV. There were fights, gossip, sex and more fights (so pretty much the usual. The perfect recipe for trash TV. I’m going to recap everything you need to know about this weeks episodes and hopefully you can keep up with me the rest of the way.


Basketball Wives

Last week on BBW, we saw the ladies leave to go on a trip to Portugal amid the DJ Duffey (DJ? bitch where?) and Tami Roman ( the former wife of Kenny Chesney or whatever that basketball players name is ).

I had no idea he played basketball in between making country hits.
I had no idea he played basketball in between making country hits.

So let me give you the rundown on this feud before we get any further.Tami’s daughter Jaz wanted to shoot her first video and they hired Duffey to be in charge of production. Duffey failed epically at this and was fired by Tammy with a “thank you for your services.”  Now, we remember this line when Duffey’s fake sister Brandy was fired from the show by Shaunie last season and you can guess how it went from there.


Tami put her hands on Duffey, Duffey threatened to beat Tami’s ass (but not in front of her daughter…how sweet) and she also made Jaz feel like shit when she started name dropping the “real artists” she allegedly worked with which angered Tammy even more. Thus, a feud was born.

Fast forward and the ladies are in Portugal together. Duffey apologized to Jaz and attempted to apologize to Tami who was not having it. She felt the apology was not sincere and was done with everything that was DJ Duffey. We also saw a strain on Duffey and Malaysia’s relationship  when she got upset that Malaysia understood where Tami was coming from. She felt like Malaysia should have her back because Brandy is Malaysia’s bff and her (Duffey’s) fake sister because…girl code…but not really. I was totally confused as to why this chick thought Malaysia owed her any kind of loyalty.

In this week’s episode we see the Tami and Duffey feud come to a head. Despite Jackie’s attempts at making all the girls feel comfortable there was an obvious division. Duffey started questioning the loyalty of the girls and decided to stay to herself for most of the trip. Angel Love’s friendsy ass felt sorry for Duffy and tried her best to make her feel comfortable although she was the same girl who called Angel out for being a video girl. She is better at life than me.

Tami went in for the kill after Duffey decides she wanted to talk about the issue. She had given Duffy the opportunity to talk about it earlier which Duffey declined. This angered Tami and a fight broke out. Well, it was more so Tammy trying to grab Duffey and everyone trying to stop her.

Bet Brandy never tries to stop a fight again.
Bet Brandy never tries to stop a fight again.

The episode ends with Tammy running down a cobblestone street in Portugal we all are assuming to catch up with Duffey. Best ratchet TV cliff hanger since Joseline fought everyone at the love and Hip Hop reunion. We totally couldn’t wait for Part 2 to see who she would fight next. I guess we have to wait until next Sunday to see if Tami beats that ass. My money is definitely on Tami though. She on some Bain town shit.


WAGS: Miami

This Sunday we were introduced to a whole new group of WAG’s which stands for Wives and Girlfriends (of Professional Athletes). These girls are nothing short of ratchet. Let’s introduce you to the cast.


Claudia Sampedro: Girlfriend of Julius Peppers Linebacker of the Green Bay packers

Model and Instagram sensation. She has been compared to the likes of Kim Kardashian who I must admit, she resembles a bit. She has also dated Kim’s ex, Reggie Bush briefly. We see her struggling with finding balance as a mom and a racy swimsuit and lingerie model. She also gets into it with another WAG, Ashley ,after she told her about two other girls who are alleged jersey chasers and Ashley decided to tell one of the two what Claudia had told her.


Ashley Nicole Roberts : Girlfriend of Phillip Wheeler of the Atlanta Falcons


She’s a captain in the US army and the most ratchet of the lot. She has a 2 year old son with Wheeler who obviously ain’t putting a ring on it, so she in turn has held out on having sex with him for over a year. If she thinks that nigga ain’t having sex….d


Darnell Nicole: fiance of the starting safety of the Dolphins, Reshad Jones


Newly engaged with a 3 year old for Jones and she is all about the Dolphins (for whatever stupid reason…only God knows why). She and Reshad have had a rough few years where he did that thing that most professional athletes do and cheated on her . The couple went to counselling and a year later she is engaged.


Vanessa Cole: Girlfriend  of wide receiver for the Ravens, Mike Wallacevanessa-cole-bio-wiki-fabwags-1

Vanessa is a  real estate agent and self proclaimed “Jesus” of the WAGS because she “ can teach these girl how to keep their man.” I low key want her to fail. Her arrogance is so unattractive but from the preview we see of this season it looks like I may just get to see that happen.


Metisha Schafer


Model, actress and video girl she can be linked to athletes such as Larry English, fiance of one of the original WAG cast Nicole and pro baseball player Matt Kemp . She befriended Nicole, her exes current fiance although it’s super obvious she isn’t over him. If you’re still talking about it then you’re not over it.


Hencha Voight


Metisha’s bff and the last groupie whore. She literally said that when she’s in a room full of jerseys she gets wet.  She has dated athletes from the likes of Glen “Big Baby” Davis and Colin Kaepernick. All paychecks matter.


Astrid Bavaresco


The Brazilian swimsuit designer. She says that she doesn’t chase jerseys, they chase her. She has dated athletes such as Brandon Albert an offensive lineman for the Dolphins. Astrid is super confident and super delusional.


I can’t wait for next week Sunday to see how these story lines develop. I for one think that everyone needs a little trash t.v in their life. It makes you feel so much better about yours.

Until next time, Stay Ratchet and Stay woke.