6 Things Bahamian Women Need To Stop Doing (Immediately)
Nah, y’all don’t get a witty intro either….just bars.
Stop Faking Orgasms
What are the most used, “I’m hurt so Imma air this nigga out”, insults?
The good ones at least?
You have the ever so popular, “ya dick small” or, “you a broke no good dog”. See, I’m different. You wanna really hurt my feelings?
A really big one that women think gets under mens skin is, “You NEVER made me cum….I faked it almost every time!”. I mean…yeah, that sucks, but guess who ALWAYS had an orgasm, beloved….
It’s really not the flex you think it is I promise. All you’ve done is have bad sex for 4 years and put up with it cause he had a mortgage, nice car and wore Sauvage cologne when you met him.
Don’t get me wrong, if your man is one of these piece of shit, don’t wanna learn or have the sex conversation ass nigas then by all means AIR THAT NIGGA OUT.
Shit, put flyers on womens cars and let them know so they can avoid that villain.
But if you have NEVER tried having a conversation about WHY you’re not having orgasms and NEVER gave instructions or after sex told him how you felt about his performance then….beloved….who really at fault here? Cause it ain me.
Understand sex is about women. I can (and have) humped pillows to completion….our dicks don’t need much.
So, please….learn your body, have the conversation and get to bussin them nuts cause we tired of y’all comin to work miserable and snitchin to the manager cause une cum since Ingraham was in power.
Accept Your Weight….Or Don’t.
Stop me if you heard this one: Man meets objectively chubby/overweight woman. He flirts with her, pursues her, they date, they make sweet sweet love and they start “going”. 1year into the relationship she decides she don’t feel as sexy as (insert friend/random woman/celebrity/enemy here cause it’s always some trigger). Now she coming to her incredibly happy with her fupa ass nigga on some…
…..leaving that poor defenseless nigga like….
God forbid you’re a gym nigga then its worse cause now its….
Leaving that poor defenseless nigga like….
Ladies, listen to me and listen to me with all your heart, soul, stomach and thighs….
NO REAL NIGGA CARES ABOUT YOUR THIGH MEAT, STOMACH, STRETCH MARKS, LOOSE SKIN, CHEEKS NONE OF IT.
WE DON’T CARE.
Ok that’s not 100% true. I don’t know why I typed that in caps.
Some niggas care about that shit….but, here’s the thing, if he’s with you and y’all still getting it in in the bedroom and he squeezzin on that meaty goodness then beloved what’s the issue? Y’all really think niggas that dumb? We hunt what we want to eat. I don’t know what goes on in y’all head honestly. Y’all really think we on these dates thinking like….
Um no that’s a waste of time.
If I meet ya thick ass at 230lbs then beloved clearly I like gals who 230lbs. And if you may wanna lose weight for health reasons or generally just for you that’s PERFECTLY fine but, beloved DECIDE.
Cause the onus ain on us.
We chose you like this. YOU let society and bitch niggas fuck with your head. I over here loving every curve on you and you mindin the Kardashians and some not gay Kevin Samuels ass nigga tellin you you too big? Their opinions matter more than me lusting after you and actively trying to have sex with you every 10 minutes?
We love your bodies, we love y’all. Decide what size you wan be and lets get you there but if you never wanna lose or gain another pound….
Stop Blaming Us For Your Horrible Choices In Niggas
How you go to Bon Vivants every other night, meet the same niggas, date within that bubble exclusively then decide to come on Perry Christie internet and declare…
Firstly, if you done tried ya hand at several of these niggas and failed then how are you not now in the pee and shit family, beloved? That’s like me ALWAYS hanging out under the bridge, exclusively only dating under the bridge ass women and then saying the exact thing you said. Only difference really is who will respond to my post and how. When a woman posts “all Bahamian niggas ain shit” know what her comment section looks like?
Let me, a man, post that.
There ARE good men on this road. I’m not one of them to be clear, but they’re out there. Get out of your bubble, get out of your own head and in the name of Jesus PLEASE….
Stop Thinking Men Only Require The Bare Minimum
Is there an increasing number of bitch niggas, weird niggas and not-gay-niggas on this road? 100% true.
Is there an increasing number of horrible women that think because they pretty they don’t need to have a personality, morals, values or any sense of self awareness on Lynden Pindling streets? ALSO 100% true. Let’s not act like we all don’t know one woman complaining about being single and how the dating pool shitty but we ALL lowkey KNOW she’s the problem but NO ONE tells her.
40% of y’all callin one name in particular but NO ONE WAN TALK BOUT IT. But they’ll get 200 likes in 8 minutes cause y’all co-sign the bullshit on main street but in the dms on some…..
And they always caption their pics horribly….
Leaving niggas like….
How y’all want us be smart, funny, have common sense, good job, have hobbies, be interesting, be open, communicate, be loving, be protectful, be feminine, be masculine, AND kill the roach and you *checks notes* have a masters degree and do the basic requirements of a working adult with a child?
Imagine me saying that to a woman…
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO EAT SOMETIMES
No no….that’s it.
That’s the statement.
Now read it again and again until it becomes a prayer.
Allow Niggas To Have A Type/Preference
I’m not a small man. I am by definition an obese man. I have been insulted by women openly my entire life. Not in cruel or malicious ways to be fair….no that privilege was reserved for the woman I love the most….
No, my mother wasn’t verbally abusive that’s just what women were/are allowed to get away with. But God forbid a man says, “Honestly slim red women are my type….love a slim red woman”. My reaction?
Now, to be clear, there are some bitch niggas outside that will say, “Don’t bring no dark fat gal round me I like my tings small and light”.
THAT is wrong.
We should never speak down to a woman only to praise another. You don’t have to insult some women to justify your taste in other women…..but goddamnit we should be allowed to have a taste in women and not get attacked for fuck sakes. I should be allowed to gently tell a woman who I’m not attracted to….
…and her not immediately default into whatever insecurity she’s battling and project that on me on some….
And you are ABSOLUTELY right….you deserve all of that.
HE specifically ain on your run tho and that’s also quite fine.
Niggas can’t even BE with their type without some smoke. I’ve dated white women before and because of that fact and the other fact that I dress like a “white boy” I get boxed in REAL quick.
Meanwhile, I’ve literally dated women that look like this….
And so what if some dude says he prefers white women?….ok. He’s allowed that. As long as he’s not putting black women down in his proclamation of his preference then I say God bless and Godspeed. Imagine me yelling at a woman for not being her type.