Open Letter to Bahamian Women (Thanks For Everything)

By Drew

I was supposed to write this a month ago but, you know….life got in the way.

I’m in a group with my boy Franson Godson and James McKinney and we were discussing how amazing Bahamian women were and right after that convo I just got super busy with work, meetings, and just everything the world had to throw at me.

lol JK….I was drunk and didn’t want to write because I’m genuinely a lazy person

I bitch, moan and complain a lot about Bahamian women. The problem with my line of work is that the shit is documented. I’ve written countless articles about how they’re to blame for most relationship issues. I’ve been unkind to exes….cheating, lying, being “aint shit” for most….not showing up for some. But, in all of my ramblings, there is no place that heals me and centers me like being around my mother and sisters….there is no better feeling than being around Bahamian female energy.

Except you…not you. You can kick rocks and drink bleach actually

I know traditionally these articles start off super amazing in the intro then I get in y’all asses midway….this isn’t that. I genuinely, and sincerely, want to take this time to say thank you….thank you for being you…and thank you for everything.

Its not easy being a Bahamian woman. I didn’t know that until one time my little sister, Danielle, asked me to go to get her and my sisters food. Because I’m generally a lazy piece of shit I asked her why she couldn’t go. She said because she didn’t want to be harassed by men.

She then explained to me that wherever she or they go out there’s always an element of fear. An element of “will I get harassed today?”.

“Is this guy rapey or is he just nice?”

I didn’t even know that jonsers acted differently when I wasn’t in the car with them….I always told jonsers, “No”, and they kept it moving.

Jonsers, when they see me in the car with women

…Vs when I’m not in the car…

Pee my pants. If a Jonser ran towards me like this I would pee my actual pants.

Needless to say it was an education.

I’m sorry that niggas are stupid and creepy. When you’re a guy you don’t think of these things, and we end up taking something as small as that for granted.

And let me be clear: We take y’all for granted.

At least I know I do….cause theres bound to be some nigga in the comments talking about

“I have never taken the Bahamian Queen for granted….she gave birth to the guava and the guinep and she is the flamingo that gives my male feminist heart license to fly amongst the lignum vitae….”

Y’all know the type nigga I’m talking about. They the ones that go under womens post and gas them up and tell them they are perfect and unique and queens then the minute they get in your dms and you hit them with the, “No, I have a boyfriend but thank you”…here comes the Facebook post….


Ya, that’s them.

Tho, he does have a point. You are Queens….all of you.

And don’t be ashamed to fucking say it.

I’ve dated foreign women. I’ve been around the global block a few times and I can tell you with nothing held back that no one holds you down like a Bahamian woman. No one has your back like a Bahamian woman. Sure they’ll fuck up you car and burn your clothes and pour palmolive in your cereal but, if we’re keeping it 100….chances are we deserved some semblance of that reaction.

Plus…after she does this….

Someone left their phone unlocked…..ya hate to see it #sillyRabbit

…and y’all do this….

I can tell by the angle of her hand that she said something terrible about his mother and or her “big cunny

…y’all will inevitably end up like this….

“…you still ain shit, nigga”- The woman you want to spend forever with

And yes yes I know, feminists in the back…..I’m describing a toxic relationship that they both should get out of. I’m obviously exaggerating the Bahamian relationship experience. But in the least we know that even when we argue….when shit gets tough, may it be bills, job loss or sometimes life just isn’t fucking easy….a Bahamian woman holds you the fuck down.

There are no better mothers.

I don’t trust niggas that don’t get along with their mother. I have a tall apathy towards them because a Bahamian mothers love is different.

Make no mistake: They are lions.

I honestly don’t know how my mother did it. My mother was/is a nurse….and if you know anything about nurses, they are never NOT nurses….it doesn’t switch off.

Normal mothers when their child sneezes too loud…

“She sneezed at an unsettling volume so I’m gonna spend upper towards $500 to confirm that she doesn’t have cancer of the nose”

When the child of a nurse breaks their leg… half….

“Ok…go bring mommy her basket of stolen medical supplies, 2 sticks and some Panadol….just hop on your good leg while I boil some water. #WeenGoinToNoHospital”

My mother would go to work, be a nurse, come home and sort the house, cook, clean, give orders, manage the family, take phone calls, budget bills, pack lunch, wash….and then at night you would find her deep in her bible looking over her glasses ready to hear your complaint and always ready with the correct answer.

My fathers famous line was, “Ask your mother….she’s never wrong”.

And she wasn’t.

…ok, she lied about this nigga so she wasn’t ALL the way perfect #StillWaitingOnMyNintendo64YouLyingSackOfXMasShit

This island literally would not be what it is if NOT for Bahamian women.

I’m lying?

How do you think Lynden Pindling was able to do what he did?

You don’t do what he did without a Lady P…..and the P stands for “Pie” #StillFine #TooSoon?

Both my grandmothers tell tales of marching with him, the womans suffrage movement and going door to door to garner support. His movement was NOTHING without thousands of women….mostly unspoken heroes, that had that mans back.

For all these reasons I keep a pitbull on my team. My friends Tamara, Josette, Elaine, Nastacia… never know when you need one of them for when the smoke comes.

And by “smoke” I mean when the lady at the bar brought me BBQ wings when I ordered plain wings with extra bleu cheese but I’m too afraid to correct her because…you know….gals… I just let them take the wheel….

“First of all bitch my friend ordered PLAIN WINGS….please take those back and also my food is 3 degrees colder than I’d like THANK YOU SEE YOU SOON!” #MyHero #KeepAPitbullOnYou

I never knew I needed protecting until I surrounded myself with strong Bahamian women.

And don’t get me started on our cousins and aunts. The support system is endless. I would die for my little cousins Lyric, Cori, Treva, Dechea, Nicole, Dominique (RIP Baby)….I could be here all day listing them.

First of all, funniest women on this island…..@ Ya ma. But, honestly……I’m watching them blossom and I’m so proud because when Queens raise Queens we all win.

Gents, we can front all we want but when you have a strong support system of women around you the sky’s the limit. Y’all really need to stop liking man and get some women in your circle because NO ONE is ready for the smoke like a Bahamian woman.

Niggas on this road when you call them for help…

“You in prison? Shit bey….I ain getting off till like Mid March of 2020… know I woulda come if I didn’t have work all day every day for 3 months…shit I feel bad!”

Fuck around and call one of your female cousins/friends if you’re in trouble….

Pictured above… female friends and family perpetually ready for the drama

I’m sure many of you can say the same.

Listen, not ALL Bahamian women are perfect and amazing. There are some bad gals, liars, cheaters, users and abusers…..thats just life. No one is perfect.

…except Sade. Sade is perfect and she is my wife. Tell Jazhino a friend.

But I would be remiss if I didn’t say…..thank you.

Thank you for tolerating us.

Thank you for being there.

Thank you for enduring what you did/do.

Women have been rallying since Dorian and have been the rallying cry and getting shit done….thank you.

Thank you for praying for us even if we may not believe or serve the same gods.

Thank you for always making sure we are straight.

Thank you for checking in.

Thank you for sacrificing everything sometimes just to make sure your sons, nephews, friends, husbands could eat.

Thank you for worrying about us.

I look at the mother of Byron Ferguson….my God how much stronger can you be.

Bless you, queen….you are in our prayers.

We will not forget

I look at my grandmothers….

103 and 97 years old….the things these black women have seen and lived through…..

Our sisters, our mothers, our daughters, our nieces, our cousins and our friends…..ladies….Queens…..we have to protect them.

I was supposed to write this a month ago but, you know….life got in the way….

…thank you for never letting life get in the way and always being there #OnlyMeHaveMommy

There’s not a Bahamian woman I can’t thank… thank you all…for everything.

We couldn’t love you more

Be safe tho