By Drew
Dear BPL,
How are you?
I hope this letter finds you well.
Let me start by saying I’m sorry….and I, nay…WE forgive you.
No, don’t turn away….look at me, beloved. I know we talked much shit about you. I mean….just a lot of vitriolic terrible shit. I mean like….just utter filth….especially on Facebook.
I see the posts.
Ya…it got sketchy on my timeline for a minute. But I’m here to tell you we’re sorry.
Just…..just stop.
That’s enough now.
This isn’t you.
Remember back in the day when y’all used to cut the light off for like 6 hours once a week? I never thought I’d say it but I miss those days. Y’all were nicer then.
Better.
You’ve changed, BPL. But hey….it’s not like you promised a whole nation that there WOULDN’T be load shedding cause….
Well besides that it’s not like we’re gonna be doing this for a long time I imagine cause….
Ok Ok but, listen…I know your heart, BPL.
If there was ANY alternative to archaic generators that require fuel you would have sought that out. It’s not like I’m stupid and think we can get power from…I don’t know….the sun or something silly…
Well, hey….to me that’s fake news, beloved. I don’t listen to their drivel. Cause if I know you, you won’t have multiple places fucked all the way up that’s just not-
Regardless, lets not get caught up in facts, blaring inconsistencies and ineffeciencies being documented about you. I don’t believe them. I believe you.
But I won’t lie, it’s getting hard to defend you, beloved. I saw a baby the other day calling BPL because of how hot it was….that’s when I knew shit was real.
A toddler said those words and I seent it. I SEENT IT!
BPL, you have to stop this.
You are going down a path that I can not follow.
We get it.
Trust me…..this is a lesson learned. But this plan to kill us before the robots do is a bridge too far.
Oh, you heard me…..I feel like you’re trying to murder us….I’ve thought this out. Here’s what I think the plan is….correct me if I’m wrong.
You’ll keep “load shedding”, forcing people to eventually leave their homes. Now we’re all on the road driving and cussing each other out off air cause its hot.
Then, once we’ve exhausted gas money and “lets go to the bar while the lights off” money….we start to steal. But we won’t steal money or goods….we’re gonna steal AC.
We’ve already seen evidence of this.
Then…the coup de gras……anarchy.
Chaos
But what did Little Finger teach us about chaos in Game of thrones?
Know how I know this is a plot? Cause URCA ain sayin shit. Their entire job is to regulate and ensure consumer rights are protected.
Meanwhile URCA is like….
Somehow, some way this feels like a plot to eradicate niggas and leave this island to the out west folks.
Oh I saw your posts about how “Lyford Cay, Old Fort Bay and Cable Beach are offline”.
Lol….thats cute.
We lying to each other now, beloved?
Its come to this?
You aren’t man enough to cut off Old Fort Bay lights….I wouldn’t talk bout Lyford Cay. MAYBE Cable Beach for 5 minutes but one thing about government: they not messing with the money. These niggas barely pay property tax but y’all now mustered up the balls to cut their power?
Imagine If Lyford Cays lights went out “in 2 hour intervals”…
And ya know Peter Turnquest….he’ll turn house nigga quick to appease them.
You’re trying to start a purge like scenario so that there’s more land for…I don’t know….Disney?
I know how our government go, BPL….they gave you 30 pieces of silver and made you do this. They tryna build a 21 by 7 Disney park. Let’s not act like they’re above selling islands to the highest bidder. Lets not pretend like they give a shit about us, BPL.
BPL, don’t do this.
Don’t implement, what I’m sure the Prime Minister has dubbed ,“The Black Out Doomsday Project”…
(Did….did ya get it? Cause it’s like he’s killing niggas via blackouts so there’s the obvious electrical power outage part of the joke but on the back end the Bahamas is predominantly black so it would literally be a “black out”….get it? God I’m good at this. I mean I’ve written some good stuff before but that one just hits different. Anyway…back to the article I guess…..you’re welcome by the way)
Don’t do it BPL.
We can talk about this.
We can get through this summer. Load shedding us to extinction won’t help. You are being reckless and acting with abandon. You’re better than that. You’re behaving so badly I almost miss BEC.
BEC respected us.
Sure he was mean at times. At times he wasn’t always there or maybe didn’t treat us the way we deserved. But he was our boy. He woulda let ya live if ya bill wasn’t paid on time because he understood he was doing shit on the side. BEC was like the Basil Dean of government agencies.
And that was enough for us. Just keep the light on 70% of the year. Thas it. But this? This is insane, BPL and you know it.
Have you seen this FNM sun? Ine think you feel this FNM sun. Cause when Perry was in power it wasn’t this hot. But this “the peoples time” crew got me thinking their mantra is more of a threat than a promise.
This FNM sun is scorching like satan himself is farting humidity onto us and us alone.
So, BPL….I prostrate myself before you.
I put my pride aside.
We’re sorry for the insults. We didn’t mean it. Just…….just stop.
Help us.
Help us to not kill each other due to heat rage. And for god sakes just let me have enough juice in this Macbook to finish this article before you cut the pow
