By Drew

I remember my grandfather fondly. He was quiet but a wise man. Two of his quotes always rang out in times of need, self doubt….and dare I say vulnerability. He used to say, “Andrew….black men have never cheated ever and that is an objective Biblical truth!”. He also used to say, “Get your fat ass off my knee asking me for quotes. How are you not dead yet from all the fatness?”

Pictured above: Me cooking a delicious batch of self esteem with a sprinkle of insecurity.

Suffice to say he was right.

LiL Duval (another great and iconic Bahamian) wrote a song heralding a call to arms of slandered black men. Oh, we had lesser men try and get our message across. God knows there was a point in the 90’s when Babyface put us ALL on his back and tried to speak our truth but sadly it fell on deaf ears.

Thank you, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds. Thank you for trying

We were ignored.

Slandered in the media.

They called us harsh and unforgivable things like “cheaters” and “fuckboys” and “out-east niggas” and “sweet-hearters” and “players”. Black men NEVER play games.

EVER.

Well, that’s not true…..

…sometimes we like to play a game with our women called, “Who loves who more?”. (We always win)

The heart and soul of the black man belongs to his woman and his woman alone. Look how many of our young kings are out her hydrated, glowing and flourishing with their queens.

LOOK

AT

OUR
Not You

YOUNG
KINGS

I mean look at them.

God bless us, honestly.

Truly.

I am so proud of us young kings for pushing forward. For avoiding the wiles of these trollips, thots, jungless, fake feminist thirst trapping influencer wannabes, lightskin gals, women from SAC…..etc. We avoid the demons and live to fight another day for the queen….nay….OUR queen that was promised.

I await my queen on top of San Souci hill every morning with a glass of 19 Crimes, a bowl of the finest scorch conch and an ounce of Pinewoods finest marijuana.

Something about flooding and wanton murder makes the weed hit different.

She never comes but she will….and I already told her before….

…I won’t cum until you do, beloved. #StillHere #StillYours #NoSexTillSade

I wont hold y’all. Just a few notes before I close.

Regular Faithful Black Men meetings will be held at the Handsome Black Man Faithfulness and Loyalty Training Center and Wellness Clinic located off Shirley Street in the Pembroke Hanna building.

The password is, “AbstinenceThroughFaith” as usual

We will be moving our Friday night Bible readings from the Denzel Washington library to the Morgan Freeman Thot Avoidance training room due to an uptick in membership as we are now at 98% of Black Bahamian Male enrollment.

Do note that the Saturday afternoon non alcoholic/drug free dance has been canceled due to last months incident.

It pains me to post this terrible image just as much as it pained me to be in that room. #AndStillWeRise

We have tightened security to protect our men from temptation as they stay faithful to their queens.

Lastly, let us thank, young king, Mr. Little Duval for our new and glorious anthem. An anthem worthy of our efforts. Worthy of our trials and worthy of us…..the unsullied, the unbent, the unbroken, and the un-cheating.

An anthem to sing when they ask us to pay the bill ignoring our Biblical track record of chastity as we ignore their beckononings for sex and other sins of the flesh.

An anthem letting them know that we deserve. We deserve it all!

Now……All rise…..sing….

Sing I said….SING GODDAMN IT!

Let them hear it from the hills of Cat Island to the Blue Holes in Long Island. Sing this song from the beaches of Exuma to those Eleuthera Pink sands.

Y’all dont hear me in here this morning.

I SAID SING IT FROM CLIFTON PIER TO THE SUNNY SHORES OF YAMACRAW BEACH.

SING IT UNTIL YOUR LUNGS BURN BECAUSE WE ARE GODS, CHILDREN.

WE ARE HIS KINGS ON EARTH AND IF ITS ONE THING MY YOUNG KINGS DONT DO.

I SAID IF ITS ON THING YOUNG. BLACK. KINGS. DON’T DO!!!!

SAY IT WITH ME, CHILDREN!

BLACK

MEN

DON’T

CHEAT

Be safe tho.

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