So, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’re probably aware that Jay Z dropped probably one of the most important, let alone personal works, of his career. Anyone that knows Jay Z and his legacy are very aware that he does very few interviews, hates the press and has always been private about his romantic life. 99% of this album is him speaking about family life, black excellence, and how black culture can strive, be better and grow together. He even gave out financial advice on how to gentrify your own neighborhood before “the man” does it and removes you. It was a really great work by him.
Oh….ya….and he admitted he cheated on Beyonce….a point he referenced in liteally 1 song of the entire album.
If there was ever a metaphor for how women treat mistakes vs the way men do its Lemonade vs 4:44.
Social media more or less exploded.
So much so that I legit got called out by a friend of the site to write an article on it.
Since the album dropped Sherice, The false God Ricardo wells and I have been dissecting every line and every beat of the album, much to young Randolph’s chagrin as he likes short sentences and trap beats more so than…you know….lyrics. However, I’ve been alarmed by the reception the album has gotten as women everywhere are ignoring the positive themes of the album and solely focusing on the fact that Jay Z cheated on Beyonce and how, as usual, men are dogs. Its within this vein that we need to address 4:44 and the Bahamian female double standard.
Let me preface this whole article by saying that cheating is wrong.
Its tiresome, its annoying, it’s a ton of fun and it shouldn’t even be an option ever. (Not a typo). Cheating within a marriage is far worse because you actually signed papers with this person….like an actual license to say that you would be faithful till you’re dead. Only person I really think I could deal with till death is whoever that witch is in Oh Andros that makes the “grouper” finger dinner with macaroni and coleslaw on Sat when I call in that order.
Babygirl I don’t know who you are but….till death, beloved.
If we’re going to get scientific, marriage let alone monogamy are social constructs that challenge our animal instinct to procreate.
Civilization is based on the repression of instincts.
When we act contrary to our instincts? That’s when things get interesting and real. One could argue that monogamy is a state of higher evolution but the truth of the matter will always be that we are animals and as a male our first instinct is to fertilize i.e. have sex with all the vagina we possibly can….so with that said: Who tell y’all Beyonce couldn’t get cheated on?
Marriage can’t be easy.
I imagine its hard looking at one person in the face FOREVER and not wake up like…
So y’all thought because Beyonce can sing and dance to songs she didn’t write that that makes her special?
Understand me, NO ONE deserves to get cheated on. But its asinine to think that because she makes hit records that she is above going through the same shit you or anybody else has. The only difference between you and Beyonce is she got to vent over 12 well produced tracks and make money off of it meanwhile you were crying on the shoulder of that nigga you told your guy not to worry about.
One mistake later and…
Y’all are acting like because Jay Z is unattractive that he wasn’t out here knocking down pies BEFORE he was a Billionaire and before he married Yonce.
To be fair, I can see how hard working, independent, smart and beautiful women can look at what Jay Z did as an indictment on them that “if a man can cheat on Beyonce then I KNOW he’ll cheat on me”.
See….this is where females get caught up and end up with 3 shitzus, 5 cats and a female “friend” for 38yrs.
Beloved, that’s HER situation, not yours. Too often females feel the need to compare themselves to other females when really you should be focused on YOUR relationship. That’s probably why that nigga keeps “working late” because you are busy on social media in and out of everyone’s business when your dude could have been in and out of you.
Half y’all can’t post a pic of you baby daddy on social media without his expressed written consent but you want to judge Beyonce for not leaving the man she loves?
Don’t be mad at their public fall out because that nigga keeps you private is all I’m saying.
Also, what happened to “working things out” and “fighting for love”? These aren’t words men phrased, people. Females attack men constantly for not “fighting for love” but then the minute one of your friends or Beyonce stays she’s a fool? Beloved, a Billionaire cheated on her and she stayed. Half these niggas y’all mess with just had to catch a ride from their moms house, cheating on you, to come by and see what you cooked cause he’s famished from all the other sex he had earlier.
And why are we pretending like women aren’t out here doing the EXACT same thing and no one is talking about it?!
Jay Z cheated on Beyonce, got slapped up by her sister in an elevator, Beyonce dragged him for a full album, he admitted to everything in his follow up album and begs for forgiveness and y’all mad.
Meanwhile this happened….
…and y’all called this dude a bitch, soft, and claimed “well that’s what you get for impregnating and wifing a stripper!!!”.
Ok…so lets deconstruct that pocket full of hypocrisy for a sec. Follow me on this one.
First off Rob Kardashian is the nicest of the Kardashians. He’s done nothing wrong really. He just has horrible attention seeking sisters and that’s more or less his only sin in this world. So we have to truncate the Kardashian stain on him.
Now, that said, yes….he did wife an unattractive stripper who cheated on him way more than he probably even realizes.
He was 100% wrong for posting the nude shots considering they have a child together but other than that how is he any different from Beyonce save for the fact that he has a dick and she married one?
How is it fair that he gets laughed out of the conversation but Beyonce gets all the empathy in the world?
Ok, one can argue that, again, he married a stripper so “what did he expect?”. Ummm do rappers have a great reputation for being faithful to….well, anything? They are notorious philanderers.
Ok, so the “you saw the signs coming” argument is thrown out of the window. Whats left? Because he was messy and put their business out on social media?
The point I’m trying to make is you can’t defend one and not defend the other.
The same energy y’all gave Yonce y’all need to give to the Roberts of the world because far too often this blaring double standard is overlooked and over hyped. Women get cheated on and they get all the sympathy in the world but if a man gets cheated on then the first question is, “Well what did he do?”.
Remember Lorena Bobbitt? Go to your googles, millennials.
This lady cut off her mans whole penis …his WHOLE penis….and women every where rejoiced! Dude was a laughing stock in the media. Chicks defended her for days because she did what women have been threatening to do to men for centuries.
Now imagine if Rob Kardashian had cut off Blac Chynas right pinky toe in her sleep….just the tip.
Amber Rose would be somewhere organizing a Slut Toe Shaming walk somewhere and thousands of “independent” women would be marching for the tip of Blac Chynas toe.
I just want better for us as a people. Jay Z apologized….like a lot. We can’t give him a bly?
I am a person that exists in the gray. I see it all around me: the illusion of absolutes.
There are none.
People make mistakes and sometimes we fall. But where does leaving get us if we love someone? We’re above forgiveness now? We need to teach MORE of our sons to apologize….and we also need to teach our daughters to not measure their strength by how much pain they can endure.
And therein lies the gray.
We will never know the full gravity of Bey and Hovs situation….and I don’t think we should. Things SHOULD be handled behind closed doors. That’s where the tears, the pain, the hurt and the anguish belong. That’s where the healing begins. I could give a shit about their specific situation but I do care about women out here attacking men as if their shitty past infidelities don’t stink. Theres no shame in forgiveness and no joy in regret. Just ask Kobe Bryants wife’s ring finger.
I for one would hate to leave the love of my life and negotiate the darkness alone.
I’ve cheated….a lot. I know what it is to be pitched headlong into a hostile situation of my own making. Sin flourishes less of our own animus than by our own conviction that we cannot change. People change, people heal….and people move on. So by accepting defeat short of what could be a happy forever you let the world win. If maturity and change are the order of the day then Jay Z on 4:44 was its harbinger.