Ratchetcast: You ARE the Father, Eloposuction


Another day, another ridiculous TV show painting my people in a negative light. Ratchet TV is just something you hate to love, but love to hate. After a long day of thinking there’s nothing more I want to do than to sit back, relax and watch these people completely ruin their lives on TV. Guess this makes me a bad person huh? I promise you I don’t care. I’m going to recap Monday nights line up of trash in as little words as I possible can.



Black Ink: Chicago

The Black Ink Chicago crew is back and more turnt up than ever. Ryan (my baby daddy), is still struggling with the loyalty of his staff who want to branch off and do their own thing.

I wouldn’t be going through this if Shonny were here…

Kat, who started her own brand “Kat Tat,” much to Ryan’s disapproval, seems to be finding her way in the art world – booking new jobs with new clients, selling paintings to celebs and doing tons of photo shoots. We’ve see her character evolve this season and she seems to have found more confidence. She proves that her ego is way too big for the 9Mag crew when she refuses to pay rent and pretty much called Phor out for being mad that they fell asleep at his show. The highlight was her shouting “He’s just mad that he’s not getting it anymore.” Kat is definitely on one. She also started feuding with her bff Charmaine, the manager of 9Mag and told her she is only good for “sweeping floors and f*cking in the bathroom”

Wow! Some best friend, right? She and Charmaine then got into a physical altercation, not once but twice in the space of two episodes after Charmaine took it upon herself to remove Kat’s things from her tattoo booth after Ryan hired a new artist to replace her.


We also learned that Don , who got engaged last season, amid the Charmaine drama, may have another kid  with some chick from College (much to Charmaine and Danielle’s delight). The only positive that came from the season premiere was Van’s release from prison. Van is the voice of reason for the 9Mag crew and keeps everyone together and boy have they been falling apart with him  gone.

And we thought this was bad as it would get for Don...nope!
And we thought this was bad as it would get for Don…nope!

In this week’s episode we see Ryan’s failed attempt at dating, or at least that’s what it seems like. What was really happening was him curving bitches for me. He is so awkward but I love it. We also learn the results of Don’s paternity test which proves he is the father of college chick’s kid. He might have some s’plainin to do. We also see Charmaine get her ass beat again from Don’s fiancee, Ashley, and her group of hood rat friends (Sidenote: one of the biggest takeaways from this fight is that a fat ass doesn’t count if you also have a fat gut…just saying). Ashley shows up to Danielle’s birthday party uninvited to find Don having a great ass time after he hadn’t been home in 3 days. You heard right…3 DAYS! He deserved whatever she was giving. They then went on to accuse Charmaine of messing around with Don and this is how the fight broke out. Little did she know, Charmaine was the least of her worries as his new baby was younger than the kid she and Don had together. We also saw Phor develop a new love interest and I for one can’t wait to see Kat’s reaction to this since she thinks she’s the best thing that ever happened to him.


Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood

In the last episode of of Love and hip-hop Ray J decides to step up with the wedding planning and flies Princess’ granny in to help her pick out her wedding dress, Safaree is exposed by Nicki, Willie attempts to make amends with Shonda, Moniece exposes chihuahua (at her listening party), Teairra is trying to get her head in the game and start making music again amidst her uber driver incident, The Chihuahua commonly referred to as “Yoquierotacobell” (Brandi) and her hubby the Meep (Max Lux) made amends. Amazingly, I have been watching this show since its first season and I just learned their names.

meep                                       brandi

In this week’s episode of Love and Hip Hop, Princess speaks to well known blogger Jason to get the tea on Moniece. He reveals to her that  Moniece made a sex tape which then inspired her to hatch a plan with “Yoquierotacobell” to bring Ms. Slaughter down. The only Problem was, Jason and “Yoquierotacobell” were not getting along. They had beef last season when she threw a drink at him. In order to make it up to him he made her hop on one leg and bark like a dog like that chick from Coming to America…in the middle of a restaurant. She  complied and an alliance was formed. The ghetto mama war got even messier when A1 presented Lyrica’s mom with a waist trainer which was super disrespectful…although her Mom was trying to extort money from them for lipo.

Guess they they couldn't see eye to eye...
Guess they they couldn’t see eye to eye…

Who does that? She was super pissed that A1 and Lyrica ran off and got married and told her daughter that paying for her lipo was the only way she could make it up to her.  We also see Fetty Wap being a horrible dad again and not being there for the jump off who got pregnant for him, Masika and his daughter.  There’s always so much going on with this show, it’s hard to keep up.


Ratchet TV Monday’s helps me cope with Monday’s a whole lot better. What would I do without these stupid people to laugh at?
Until next week. Stay Ratchet and Stay woke!