NFL Picks: Week 4

by RENALDO DORSETT and SANNIE BROWN

Week 3 Awards

The “Save The Date, We Play Tampa” Award presented by every team that had the Bucs on the schedule in 1976 season – Julio Jones. It looked unfair seeing him matched up against the hapless Bucs secondary and going for nine receptions, 161 yards and two touchdowns.

The “Hearing It From My Teammates May Be Worse Than The Actual Play” Award presented by every black guy that’s ever been crossed-over by someone of another ethnicity on a basketball court – Blidi Wreh-Wilson. If you get burned by a 6’2 215 pound recicver with a 40″ vertical jump, its ok. If you get burned on a trick play by a ginger quarterback, with the leaping ability and speed of a giant tortoise, you might need to be cut….immediately.

The “I Just Need This Story To Go Away Before They Remember Where It Started” Award presented by the Ebola voice note lady – Whoever convinced the Dolphins front office that Ryan Tannehill was the quarterback of the future in Miami. “I know he was a wide receiver two years ago, but hear me out here guys. Maybe, just maybe….”

Week 3 Results

Renaldo: 11-5 (29-18, .604)

Sannie: 6-10 (21-26, .458)

Week 4

New York Giants at Washington No Nicknames

I’m all for the progression of Kirk Cousins and it has nothing to do with my desire to see anything positive happen for this franchise. It’s all because I feel like the Dolphins next quarterback is on this roster. Either Cousins does so well that the Redskins can’t bear to let him go eventually in free agency (see the Vick/Schuab situation) or they give up on the RGIII experiment. I like our chances with either horse in this race. Deangelo Hall missing from the Washington secondary for the season is going to hurt defensively, I just don’t know if Eli can take advantage. I can’t trust him in primetime.

WASHINGTON over Giants

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SANNIE: Even though I love New York, (I have never been so go figure) but I have been to Washington and it was amazing!!!

WASHINGTON over Giants

Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans

I wish the Texans front office would give us some indication on whether Arian Foster is playing this weekend or not. It’s like waiting on a blind-date to show up, only she shows up accompanied by an overweight friend who expects you to buy drinks for everyone. The Buffalo Bills defense is that overweight friend…and they’re thirsty. You wouldn’t get by that level of adversity on a date, nether will the Texans.

BILLS over Texans

SANNIE: Beyonce (who is from Houston) revealed intimate pictures of her wedding this week, as well as never before seen photo’s of baby Blue AND her run the word tour aired on HBO. Great “Bey-week”

TEXANS over Bills

Carolina Panthers at Baltimore Ravens

What’s the possibility of the Ravens having their third nail biting finish in four games? Probably not very likely, but we should have round-the-clock medical care and a defibrillator available for Chris Berman in preparation for this game. For him, watching Steve Smith play against the Panthers at his new home could be like Chris Matthews having to see Barack Obama serve as Sarah Palin’s Vice President. Neither could live through it.

PANTHERS over Ravens

SANNIE: Flacco’s eyes versus Newton’s smile…I will go with the eyes!

RAVENS over Panthers

Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears

It was somewhat eerie to hear just how nonchalant Aaron Rodgers was following the Packers week three loss to the Lions. His message to Packers fans “Five letters. R-E-L-A-X. Relax. We’re going to be fine.” Either he was under some green-leafed influence or he realized just how injury-depleted the Bears secondary is. I’m good with either justification.

PACKERS over Bears

SANNIE: “Bears….Beers. Yup. Works for me.”

BEARS over Packers

Detroit Lions at New York Jets

Rex Ryan is incapable of coaching if people think his team is going to win. Somehow I feel like he should have been fired three years ago and the franchise is in disarray, yet they still hover around respectability. Their only win came against the Raiders, the receiving core is paltry, Geno is being Geno yet they’re in every game because of a defense that’s ranked first against the run and ninth against the pass. How do you beat that? More importantly why am I picking against that? That’s right…Calvin Johnson.

LIONS over Jets

SANNIE: Anyone else thinks Calvin Johnson looks like Tyson Beckford? No, just me? Ok.”

LIONS over Jets

Tennessee Titans at Indianapolis Colts

Things I learned this week from the Dan LeBatard Show: Andrew Luck has a flip-phone and may or may not still drive a Honda Accord. That’s all I need to know about Luck and how completely dedicated he is to football. Put him in the Hall of Fame now, he’s going to play until he’s 45 and he’s going to be amazing.

COLTS over Titans

SANNIE: Maybe Andrew Luck will bring me some luck with my picks this week, Lord knows I need it. How am I losing?

COLTS over Titans

Miami Dolphins at Oakland Raiders

A more optimistic Dolphins fan would think “If there’s one thing the ‘Fins needs to get back on the horse…it’s the Raiders.” That optimism is nowhere present in this column. I fully expect Miami to lose to a bad Raiders team at this point. By the way, how long are the Raiders going to keep this whole “Commitment to Excellence” thing going as the team creedo? Really…this is “Commitment to Excellence”? Oakland is about as “Excellent” as Leslie Miller’s discretion. Congrats Coach Allen, you’re off the hook for one week. I know what I have to do, and I accept it now. I’ll sacrifice a loss in the picks column to get the Dolphins a win.

RAIDERS over Dolphins

SANNIE: What a tight situation. Two teams I said I would never pick but Renaldo you win this one

DOLPHINS over Raiders

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Pittsburgh Steelers

The Bucs have finally decided to go with Mike Glennon at quarterback after starting the season a paltry 0-3. As bad as Lovie Smith thought Glennon may have been in his second season, can he possibly make a team that got embarrassed 56-14 in primetime, any worse? Glennon earned the starting job last year and was benched simply because the other guy was older. Youth…the great handicap. The Bucs’ front office must be run by Bahamians.

STEELERS over Bucs

SANNIE: I seriously just want to hold Troy Polamalu down and steal his hair for my new birthday do. No I am not ashamed to say that either.

STEELERS over Bucs

Jacksonville Jaguars at San Diego Chargers

Here’s what would really make the Jags story interesting. Rather than putting the brakes on the Rush Limbaugh minority ownership bid that’s been hovering forever, the NFL should encourage it. As a matter of fact it should serve as some sort of punishment for the Jags players: You keep playing like a pee wee football team and losing these lopsided games and we’ll let Rush Limbaugh sign the paychecks. There is NOTHING than would make Toby Gerhart run harder, Cecil Shorts catch more passes and the league’s worst defense create more turnovers. It could also force a flurry of trade demands by the entire roster. The Dolphins would have to capitilaze on that right?

CHARGERS over Jags

SANNIE: Even tho Jags are more expensive I would take a charger any day. It just sexier. Can’t you just see me driving one?

CHARGERS over Jags

Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings

The Falcons have one more week of to experiment in the NFL Division II before they have a four game stretch against the Giants, Bears, Ravens and Lions. The good news is that follow that stretch with another game against the Bucs.

FALCONS over Vikings

SANNIE: So I love Kroy Biermann on “Don’t be Tardy.” He seems like a great father. Yay him.

FALCONS over Vikings

Philadelphia Eagles at San Francisco 49ers

Three weeks ago, we all knew Colin Kaepernick was the next elite quarterback and the next in the line of great Niner quarterbacks. We all knew Harbaugh was on his way to the coach of the year and the next Bill Walsh. We all knew the Niners offense was the most remarkable since ’94, and we knew this team was on their way to the SuperBowl. Wait…so that was just me? Fine, I’m nothing if not adaptable. Kap may not ready yet, but neither is the Eagles defense.

NINERS over Eagles

SANNIE: Now Colin may or may not have said the N word, but really who could stay mad at the face?

NINERS over Eagles

New Orleans Saints at Dallas Cowboys

I’m sure you’ve heard this before. Cowboys front office, gambles on player without reason baffling everyone that knows anything about football. Aforementioned player fails to live up to the hype. Jerry Jones lambasts player for being exactly what everyone (but the Cowboys) knew he was. Poor, Morris Claiborne. The last thing he needs right now is to try to stop Drew Brees after Austin Davis spent an afternoon picking on him.

SAINTS over Cowboys

SANNIE: NCIS New Orleans just premiered and so far, I am not disappointed

SAINTS over Cowboys