By Drew
Let me be clear: we live in a dystopian nightmare. Yeah the Ukraine war is cute. The Israel Gaza thing is happening….again. Sure America is on their series finale come November and absolutely the situation in the Congo is madness but…..our leader of the opposition is a poet and our House Speaker *checks notes* was an alleged hot dog saleswoman who said…
But I had accepted all of that. I was apathetically cool with all of it. Cause I can’t stop wars. I can’t unbig Madam speakers back or walk back her stupid ass logic.
I’m powerless.
Know what I can and did do tho? What ALL of us did who went to Kingsway?
SELL GODDAMN COOKIES!
So it’s come to this.
Kingsway can I ask y’all a question?
How dare y’all?
I forgave y’all even after I graduated. Cause y’all built a cabana to pacify niggas in my day. We was still eating from Mr. Butler who, to be fair, made immaculate meals in this…
I thought y’all was getting better when my little sister said y’all got new offices and school rooms and a cafeteria. I smiled. I had joy in my heart. I was proud.
Then.
Jordan Prince William which, to be clear, is not a private school (They think it is because they pay “school fees” but deep down they know they not.) THEY got a pool.
Y’all hear me?
JORDAN PRINCE WILLIAM.
Their school name is made up of the most niggerish names in all of niggadry cause we all know a man or a bad child with one of these names.
What did they do that we didn’t?
We sold the cookies.
We had the fairs.
We walked the walkathons.
We even got our family involved.
My father grilled pork chop and steak to the point of heat exhaustion and they offer this man water not even a beer because Jesus (of Nazareth) “wouldn’t want that”. Y’all ever try grillin without a cold beer?
Now I understand why in chapel they had us singing “Send down the rain, we need the rain” so vigorously. They used to yell at us to sing it louder like Jesus had a hearing problem. What y’all plan was?
And can we get to the school fees?
My mother had 4 children in Kingsway. Let’s do some math.
4 children at $900+ a semester before seat fee and *checks notes* anti unform tickets.
lol…oh I forgot y’all other schools was normal: Lemme explain “anti uniform” cause its quite the swing. You would pay $5 to wear the clothes already in your house. It was the “privilege” of not wearing your uniform. If you DIDN’T pay for the tickets you had to come in uniform.
Back to the Math.
My parents would have paid $3600 a year, add on seat fee of $100 each so that’s $4,000 a year.
I can’t speak to today but back then we had 30 kids per class on average. So if there are 30 kids per class all paying $900+ a year with 3 classes per grade that’s $81,000 per grade.
And me and my siblings were lifers….from Kindergarten to to grade 12. That means my family alone would have spent $52,000.
FIFTY TWO THOUSAND.
A sacrifice by my nurse mother and taxi driving father. You know what our family home would have looked like if they didn’t have to pay them damn fees and they sent us to LW Young?
Y’all ain shame?
Where is the cookie money?
My mother had PMH on lock sellin them shits. Know why? Cause she believed in y’all. We trusted you. No y’all wasn’t perfect. Yeah Christian Emphasis week was dumb cause how you was gettin feel up on likers hill all semester but now you catch the spirit in chapel like une do that?
Kingsway lemme say something to y’all: I could be 80 and on my deathbed and I am tellin y’all right the hell now that THE DAY y’all build that pool my family will be there.
And there’s a lot of them.
I will ask my children to lift me up and put me in the car, drive Bernard road and dunk me in that pool. If I die I die and I mean that.
And, yes…..I know the Fox Foundation/Island Luck are doing this out of the goodness of their hearts. But in the words of a one and done Prime Minister…
I’m starting to think the christian angle was a distraction at this point. Like y’all kept us holy ghosted up to distract from y’all failings.
Now I got niggas from SAC (Virginia), StAndrews (John) and even Aquinas (E) calling and making fun of our calamity. And make no mistake thats exactly what it is.
Why?
Cause I can’t swim.
Sure it’s easy to blame that on my parents for not taking me elsewhere to learn. Ironically enough I had one swimming lesson in my life and it was at SAC but I never went back because the vibes was off.
Also, to be fair to my parents, they were spending $52,000 just for schooling. Not a lot of money left after that while trying to keep us alive with, you know, food and shelter and what not.
But we, the alumni, gonna be ok.
The children will suffer like we did.
And yes, tease us, talk to us bad. Why? Because we can take it. Kingsway students are like Miami Dolphins fans: Ya take the good with the bad, ya know they never gonna give you that big win so you enjoy the little ones and hope year by year they get better.
I had some of my best times in that school and yet my dryest.
And speaking to KA directly?
I hate the way that y’all talk, the way we had to walk and those goddamn fairs. I hate the way we had a fake christian week cause most of us was faking, let me make that clear. I hate that we had to pay $5 just to dress. And as for the teachers, I even hated a lot of them niggas: But that’s just me I guess.
I don’t wanna hear y’all say “cookies” no mooooorrrreee.
