The Death Of The “Good Bahamian Woman” (And Why They’re Losing The War)
What do you picture when someone calls themselves a “good” woman? Some would picture Mary, the mother of Jesus. Some people their saintly mothers. Some their grandmothers.
I picture mama John.
There’s this call among a small pocket of this island for women to return to being “good women”. Like most women need to be walking around in pant suits and conservative hairstyles like some forlorn Stacey Abrams….
I never quite understood what the term “good woman” meant but, as a man….with a penis….I can tell you that y’all may not have it all the way figured out yet. So lets unpack this.
If you let society tell it, a good woman is a woman who cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, goes to work, manages the home and enjoys the fuck out of some mediocre missionary sex.
Also, y’all lowkey describing a slave.
And, let me be clear: I LOVE a woman that can cook. Cook me a good meal, God forbid its a good Bahamian meal, and you’ll have me wide open like a research monkey.
AND we fuck after?
I’ll start making promises I have no intention of keeping……
HOWEVER…..I can cook too, beloved.
I don’t need a woman to cook.
I clean better than most niggas.
I’m good with kids.
So I don’t require any of that shit. I’m at a point now where ya just want shit to make sense. If you make sense, we communicate well and we vibe, we can Wendys and Seafront Sushi the fuck out this relationship.
To be fair, some niggas like that domestic housewife shit and that’s perfectly fine….no judgement or shade to them niggas or those ladies. But I’m seeing a growing number of men who just wanna make love and make sense not make a life with some boring ass “good woman” with 0 personality and who only had 1 penis in her life.
Y’all ladies who brag about your low (sexual) body count…..umm….thats not the flex you think it is. Y’all be out here on some….
….which leaves a nigga like me on some..…
Let me articulate my point: When last some of y’all played Super Mario Bros. on the original Nintendo?
Years….probably decades at this point.
Oh you’ll remember HOW to play it but chances are Bowser an them ga bust ya ass providing you get THAT far. But back in 1987 (with y’all old asses) y’all was out here like….
You know how the game goes but you’re rusty. You haven’t been outside in 10 years and don’t know that the sex game has changed. Niggas walk into the sex store DIFFERENT now. No one hiding.
The game has changed and you’re the weakest link.
Need more evidence?
All them women y’all “good girls” was callin “hoes” and “sluts”…….talking bout….
….where most of them at now?
Cause they perfected their craft and were never bad people to begin with. They’re very good at sex cause, you know…..practice, AND they’re a pleasure to be around. Y’all called them hoes cause they fucked more niggas than you thought was acceptable based on some antiquated morality you adhere to.
But, lowkey? Those women are cool as fuck.
Lemme tell y’all something bout these women y’all call “hoes”….they are GREAT people.
I mean…just the best.
I’ve never met an unpleasant “hoe”. Great conversation. Always fun to be around. Well traveled. No hang ups. Everyone is insecure, but they don’t wear that shit on their sleeves. They know their bodies so they know exactly how to get to that nut. They are a great time and that’s why your nigga cheated on you with her. That’s why niggas gotta lie when y’all ask why he cheated.
Also, these “hoes” y’all speak of usually have a bunch of male friends who they watch, talk to and observe. So they actually pay attention and learn niggas beyond the norm. Meanwhile y’all switch friends out every 5 years, leaving you with women who just agree with whatever bullshit you tell them…
I’m watching an increase in niggas leaving their “good woman” for their sweetheart because why the fuck not? Misewell go where the real love is, beloved. Because, let’s be real…..some of y’all are amazing mothers, amazing women, amazing partners, amazing daughters, sisters and friends but you’re TERRIBLE girlfriends/wives.
Read that again.
And I know how the narrative goes….
And, beloved, if you was doing ALL that and he STILL cheated then my questions start at…
And no, ladies, sex isn’t everything. But it fucking matters and if you think it doesn’t matter then know it matters a lot to him.
Yes, y’all women who do it “because he likes it but I’m good without it” set too. Trust me, your attitude towards sex matches your energy during it. If you don’t communicate with him that you hate the sex and you haven’t had an orgasm since the Christie administration then who is to blame? Doing it just for doing it sake because you think you’re doing what a good wife should do does not a happy woman OR marriage make.
Beloved, teach that nigga what’s required of him for you to bust these nuts.
And just so y’all read me right: If you have a nigga that aint shit, don’t help around the house, doesn’t pay bills, communicate, emotionally stunted and doesn’t wanna do the work to make you both better, abusive verbally or otherwise or just plain and simple ended up being an ain shit nigga? THAT niggga does NOOOOTTTTT deserve your body, time or energy.
Fuck that nigga and I mean that disrespectfully.
I’m speaking on behalf of niggas that do their goddamn job. Tired telling dudes that the easiest way to turn a woman on is to clean the kitchen.
But being a “good woman” by societal or religious standards is overkill IF you think that’s what pulls a nigga or keeps him. Not cursing doesn’t make you a good woman. Not having tattoos doesn’t make you a good woman. Not drinking, partying, hanging out or going to clubs and bars doesn’t make you a good woman. Staying home doesn’t and being a christian doesn’t make you a good woman either by the way.
Who is the most annoying/judgemental person at your job?
I’m tired of this narrative that a good woman is more or less……well…..my mother. I love my mother dearly but sheen fun…..and I also have no interest in having sex with her….so why are you cosplaying as my old lady, bey?
And I know what most of you are saying….
And you are 10000000% correct, madam.
You’re objectively right….
….but you gotta chill with the fake “happy to be single” posts tho cause are you really happy EVERY DAY to not be busting nuts and or having a companion? So happy in fact, that you gotta post on every social media platform you on, damn near daily, how “Happy” you are?
Its giving St Augustines, atheist, crossfitting, vegan, beloved. Cause who love to claim their cult like ideologies more than them niggas.
You can’t perpetually broadcast your joy of being single and then expect us to believe you. And it’s not our business but it kinda is cause them posts public and we be scrolling our phones like….
I think my message is times have changed. I think my message is you can be both….or have none of it. But in the end be yourself. If you wanna drink, drink. If you wanna smoke and get tatted, club, bar hop, get drunk, have fun, travel, have kids, not have kids…..beloved…do it.
It’s 2022…..do you.
And if doing you is being single and not fuckin until Mr. Right comes then, queen, God bless. If thats what YOU truly want. And if you wanna fuck 48 niggas before 2023 is over then to you I also say, God bless. There’s no wrong answer here. But if you think you have to be this archetype of the perfect woman based on some standard of religion or society then I’m here to tell you there is another option….
If you wanna explore, explore. If you feel like you have to be a certain way for your person, maybe talk to them. They may feel the same way and then you both can figure out who y’all wanna be.
If you’re happy being a plain Jane then do that. But do it for you, not cause white Jesus or your grandmother told you to. Also, don’t sleep on some of these plain Jane women out here, son. Cause some of the most virginal looking women I know are some of the absolute nastiest women I know in the bedroom.
Remember Stacey Abrams?
She found a way to do both and responsibly manage a duality that suited her.
But you’re ALL “good women”. Every single one of you. Thinking you’re special because you sin differently than another woman is, by definition….hubris.