Happy Valentines Day! (To The Bahamian Sweetheart)

Br Drew


I believe in love. I have been in love and have experienced true love before. At my core I’m actually a romantic….a jaded one but a romantic nonetheless. Outside of misogynistic hip hop, R&B and “white people music” I have a larger collection of Anita Baker than I do Nas or Tupac.  Oh sorry, to all my foreign readers we’re a predominantly black island so any music that isn’t hip hop or reggae is considered white people music. I’ve always been a fan but I used to have to hide my love for said music with turned up windows and misplaced black shame.

If you know this album then you understand the struggle. #KandiceDavisTaughtMe #IneShameNoMoreTho

In essence, if my music inclinations say anything about me it reveals that I’m a big softy. But one can’t speak of love and not speak of truth. They occupy the same space if its real. One can argue that love can only be found within the confines of marriage and a healthy committed relationship but, as Rihanna taught us all, you can find love in a hopeless place….but it doesn’t make it less of what it is.

Pictured above: Love in a hopeless place

So, while you wives, husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends celebrate the $2-300 you spent on valentines only to get the same sex you got last week Friday, its time we acknowledge the true martyrs of Valentines…..the real heroes: The Valentines day sweethearts.

Ya ya I know….he sent you flowers and a snicker bar on the 15th because “Better late than never”. And ya, I know, she sent you a 2 minute voice note explaining how much she loved you that ended with, “…after I’m done with him tonight I’m coming for my real thing tomorrow…thanks for your patience”. Its rough out here loving someone you have to share. This must be how Brent Symonette feels every time Minnis makes a speech about the country he’s been owning for years but never claimed publicly.

“You know Nassau is my bitch right? You only leasin this crabby, beloved!” #ItsFunnyCauseItsTrue

First off lets not get beside ourselves: You are not a victim, you’re a volunteer.

Whats funny is you can always tell the side chicks and side niggas on social media. The side chicks all day were either dead silent on social media or were busy posting white Jesus scriptures or shade filled inspirational quotes all goddamn day.

“I rather sleep in the middle of the bed knowing I’m loved than to sleep on the side of a man that doesn’t love me” – Said LaKeisha sweethearteshly

The shade!

Meanwhile side niggas are out here crying and posting love songs about how chick has a man and doesn’t appreciate what he brings to the table and how she doesn’t communicate or….

Ok I’m lyin…lol…that nigga so happy heen have to spend no money!

Niggas get brand new on their in a relationship/married chick REAL quick when valentines day comes.

“GIFT?! LOL….no baby…where your husband? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit”

Mind you that’s not to say that he doesn’t love or care about you but, I mean, the main reason you even exist is because he didn’t want the stress of having an ACTUAL girlfriend.

But I digress.

People always assume that valentines day is especially hard for the sweethearts but I don’t know how true that is. If life has taught me anything its that the things we cherish the most; the fantasies and quiet little ambitions that we have as humans, are rarely kept close to us. Sure people love their kids and their parents etc. And please don’t confuse me: These in-a-relationship/married folks love their spouses as well. But the thing they love the most are kept in dark places. In secret compartments of their hearts and minds. ….that is unless you sleeping with a married hoe at which point…you know….they just slutty.

You can always tell the born cheaters : They the niggas that do the bare minimum just to keep you around or….you know….buy the side chick a Michael Kors bag.

If a nigga buys you Michael Kors he doesn’t love you or your 2 kids and I want better for you

Understand people that some of these sweethearts aren’t breaking up a happy home: they’re in a long distance relationship.

Y’all laughin.

So we’re gonna ignore our parents generation?

I’ve heard stories of men having sweethearts for 33 yrs and women even longer. You only hear about it cause they’re sibling spots the sweetheart at their funeral and whispered it to you much to your alarm.

Who can spot the sweetheart of 15years in this photo?

15 years, beloved. You know how many February 15th valentines gifts that woman received……that were better than the gifts he got his wife?

Oh I’m sorry, y’all thought the sweethearts don’t get quality gifts aye?


Wake up, Bahamas!

Niggas out here getting Rolex’s, cologne sets and motor vehicles. Been to John Bull yesterday? I did…..nothing but niggas. I saw a dude buy a pair of $100 earrings for the wife and a $1800 necklace for his sweetheart.

Not kidding.

“Let me get those earrings or whatever for my wife and your most expensive diamonds for the woman I love”#BeSafeTho

Why the surprise?

The purpose of cheating is to find happiness with someone else, that wasn’t being provided by the person you’re with. The sex is better, the conversations are amazing, all type good morning texts…..and this is the person you assumed they wouldn’t go the extra mile for?

In the very least the general fear of them telling is enough to spend a paycheck…just for their silence alone. Y’all have this thing twisted.

“Here’s a basket I bought 10 minutes ago by RM Bailey….we Gucci till your birthday right?”

Understand that I don’t condone sweethearting…..I’m not a monster.

I absolutely support it though….and in supporting it I must insist that people let them have their day(s). The 13th and 15th of February should be kept holy and everyone should keep silence. Yes, we know why those flowers are late and yes….we know where Fred will disappear to tomorrow at 4pm talking about “taking my lunch at 4”.

Lol…Nigga, please.

Go get your cologne set and enjoy your risky Orchard Garden Hotel sex with your paramore. Don’t let these people gas you like you’re fucking up cause, beloved, it could be worse……you could have been the person they’re with ON valentines day.

Do you really want that problem?

Do you know how miserable these people are?

When you sleep I pinch and stab you with a fork because your pain gives me nourishment because I fucking hate you So how was work?”

Beloved, your existence is evidence that whatever they are involved with is broken and wanting so don’t cry over spilled infidelity. They really do love you and they really don’t want you to leave its just divorce is expensive and raising kids alone is just no fun.

Plus you are aware that if they actually were to leave their spouse its not going to end well for you kids right?

You have the luxury of not having to fuck with them full time….and trust me they don’t want you full time either. You have to entertain the thought that maybe they don’t want you like that.

“I don’t mind fucking you and feeding you but you’re not coming to my friends wedding….you smoke beedies and drive a Honda Civic…..where we goin?! #LinkAfterTho “

So enjoy this day. Live it up! Take your flowers, your candy, your inherent shame, your jewelry and your VERY private dinner and live your life!

Know why? Cause you’re worth it!

Not to them because they would have left their spouse by now and made you #1 but….you know…..on earth you matter to some degree I guess.

Jokes aside, love is love. Doesn’t matter where you find it. I was with a woman for 3 years that I had sex with 5hrs after meeting her. And miserable with a woman for 5years that made me wait. Love and chaos sometimes walk hand in hand. Love can be ugly because not everyone finds it in a garden of roses. Sometimes you have to get down and dirty to find a true gem.

Or have money and a reality show cause you ogly

So cheers to you side chick that never told and never will cause that Gucci bag won’t pay for itself. And to you side nigga that knows not to send flowers on valentines day because you grew up in a home with morals.

You’re the real heroes of the day. May the 15th be with you (and also with you)!

Be safe tho.