By Drew
My father was a modern man. He couldn’t change the oil in his car but he could fix a tire. He couldn’t build a cabinet but he could mix cement. He smoked cigars and had a voice that would make Barry White blush, but he drank Bud Light or, if he was “feeling frisky”, he’d have himself a Bailey’s and sweet cream. So he wasn’t ALL the way manly….
Say what you like about the man: He was consistent. He hated the PLP AND the FNM equally, so much so that he would repeat one particular talking point, much to my mothers chagrin: “I made more money under the UBP than with any of these niggas y’all is vote for. They never shoulda give these niggas money and power!”. To be fair, in hindsight, he wasn’t right….
No matter your views on Trump and what’s been going on in the news this past 2 weeks, let me be super clear: Y’all would have voted for that nigga….by a landslide.
Of the 5 of you reading this article I can guarantee you that 2 of you are appalled. You’re reading these words with disgust and righteous indignation.
Hey, I’m right there with you.
I would have voted for Kamala too to be honest. Calm down, you last 3 people that wanna lowkey blow Trump. I didn’t “love” hypothetically voting for Kamala. I didn’t fall for the race bait either, although, to be fair to her, it was weird how y’all called this nigga black….
….but somehow y’all was on the fence about Kamala being black as she was notably half Indian and half Jamaican. Meanwhile, I saw all the evidence I needed to make a racial decision…..
But no, voting for her wouldn’t have been a good time because she didn’t do well in the debates in my mind and she did a lot of things that hurt her in the end. And, let’s be honest, the biggest issue Bahamians (and obviously Americans) had with Kamala was anatomical: She has a vagina. And if it’s one thing y’all don’t like to see with power leading ANYTHING, its people with vaginas.
Bahamian niggas like man.
Every woman that read that has whispered it to themselves, said it in the girls groupchat or maybe even said it in your car as you drove by a gaggle of men on the blocks, presumably, liking man. Some of y’all boyfriends/husbands too.
I know.
Don’t keke too loud, ladies cause y’all right there with them. We have a female house speaker that said this.
‘Member when they ask y’all if the kids that come out of said vaginas should be Bahamian citizens and y’all, in record numbers, voted no?
Y’all did that. Bahamian women. Ine forget.
That’s why when Shaunae Miller-Uibo come back with this lil nigga and he represents Winterfell or Olympus or wherever her husband from….KEEP THAT SAME ENERGY. Child come out lookin like…
So to all my liberal leaning friends, as much as I’m sure y’all HOPE we would have done the right thing, trust me….we woulda fucked this up just like the Americans did. I mean, all things considered, at least they get different people. Y’all let the same niggas screw us for literal decades.
At this point we’re not even getting screwed…..they runnin a train on us and not a good one cause take away their names and at the end of the day my question is…
And not just once. REPEATEDLY.
Niggas ain do shit for y’all but build their sweethearts, China, America and South Africa, hotels. Niggas gave y’all Pinewood Gardens and look y’all dead in y’all eye every time it flood talkin bout….
Then when those 3 was done screwing the good years outta y’all, you niggas did something I’ve never seen a woman with sense do ever in my life.
After 4 Bahamian years of dealing with a SAC nigga…..
Whats so bad about a St. Johns nigga?
And I must judge Americans over trump? I must look down or consider them ignorant? Nah….they responded to rhetoric that clearly worked and got us to this moment. Also, let’s keep it 100: The most liberal among us leans republican….as a Bahamian you’re more or less conditioned to do so. Absolutely there are those that go against the grain. They’re well traveled and have seen the world and can make educated conclusions.
But, if I’m being honest, even I hesitate on the grounds of…..
You know what I mean?
Like I support gay people and I want EVERYONE to love who they love. If you’re a man and you like men then by all means, have your fill of penis, beloved! I want that for you. And if you’re a woman and you wanna kiss the girls and, God willing, you like it? Then have at it. I can’t judge anyone for sinning differently than I do…..I sin within an hour or waking up every morning.
However, I’m for capital punishment to the point where I feel like if you rape a child you should be hung. A conservative view apparently but that’s the Bahamian in me. I’ve for sure said out loud, “They need to start killing these niggas.”
Cigars and Bailey’s with sweet cream: You can be both things.
I think we need to get immigration in order and control the illegals that come into this country. But I also believe that the people coming in are desperate and need help and we are our brothers keeper within reason. What that “reason” looks like? Smarter people than I would have that solution cause God knows I don’t. But MAYBE if you had to build a raft out of old wood and an aged Tommy Hilfiger T Shirt as a sail you could fathom what these people are trying to fucking escape in their home countries.
So when a Billionaire and his South African billionaire boyfriend and whatever JD Vance is, run for president and he’s yelling out….
…then yeah.
That guys going to win.
And for all y’all sayin, “ok we not that easy…”.
Lol…no?
You tryna tell me if Michael Pintard has a rally and screams out to yinna…
…y’all ain ga vote for him? That’s before they hand out the obligatory XXL FNM T-shirts and sweet sodas….no? Ya let a SAC nigga hit but a bridge too far is a nigga who is do spoken word and pull WWF level fake mace throwing House of Assembly events?
lol….weird flex but go off, I guess.
Unpopular opinion: I don’t think it’s the end of the world though I have to admit, shit is getting sticky. There’s a whole crew of you that were loud about Bahamians caring about the US election questioning why any of us gave all the shits we seem to give. Well, what they do affects us especially when it comes to this tariff talk and the economy. Also, if you’re a large black man like myself, yeah the nazi’s making a resurgence in the U.S. is not ALL the way awesome when ya go to Florida from time to time.
If you would have voted for trump and you celebrated his victory then congrats! Love Elon Musk and what he stands for? Have at it. But I will have a few questions about that love affair….
But for the rest of us who are concerned, worried, stressed…..I think the, “Y’all worried bout America when we gat problems right here in The Bahamas”, crew may be right this time.
We have been in the same boat for all 43 of my living years and there’s a slow leak. While Trump is Making America Great “Again”….maybe let’s try and make The Bahamas Great.
Just sayin.
Be safe tho
