By Drew
It’s like ’06 in my mother’s house and I’m in love with Ashlyn. My little sister, Danielle, comes into my room one night and asks if I can go with her to get food. I was more than happy to do that errand for her as she was not at all disturbing me from an intense online game of Madden.
Unmoved, I asked her why she just couldn’t go alone?
Like…you a whole adult.
Why I need to be involved in this transaction? She replied, quite soberly, that she didn’t want to go alone because she didn’t want men to harass her. I was genuinely confused my only response being….
Of Course her being my little sister I obliged. I told her that I would take her but that she had to go inside the establishment cause I wanted to see for myself what she was talking about. Like clockwork she walks in and IMMEDIATELY all eyes are on her. I could see them speaking to her and her ignoring them. One gentleman walks in behind her and is standing so close behind her she could have gotten pregnant. I immediately rushed inside the spot, gave her the keys and told her to go in the car.
I didn’t know.
I didn’t know it was like this for our women and we need to SOLVE this and stop “debating” it.
By the way that’s a true story. In retrospect I had to take a long hard look at myself and ask a very important question: Why do women date me? Dating me is wild if you an average sized woman cause I am 6’1 and 280lbs…..une scared?
vs
With the knowledge I got from Danielle and then other women I spoke to….hearing their experiences and how terrified they are EVERY DAY, “why y’all even is mess with niggas?” was the only question I could muster.
Imagine if every day you go outside there are wolves, domesticated dogs and coyotes.
Every day.
And every day you gotta decide which one is gonna try and bite you today. Which one is gonna try and howl at you. Which one is safe and which one is just a sweet good boy who harbors no ill will towards you. And even then he may still be a biting ass nigga.
That’s their day to day, every day…..until they die. Or until you get old and undesirable at which point they’ll probably leave you alone and hunt younger prey.
But as a culture we have to come to terms with just how rapey and sick we are. It’s not uncommon for you to be in traffic and a car (typically a Honda) is following behind some school girl….IN UNIFORM….literally trying to coerce her into getting into his vehicle to more than likely have sex with her. Or he could be a mathematician trying to help her with her calculous.
Let’s not pretend like we haven’t seen scenarios of women being sexually harassed verbally by men in public. No type shame. And they’re not always jonsers either. Some of these animals seem to be plain clothed men of sophistication and culture.
…then when the woman, inevitably, denies him his advances he powers up and declares…
He’s screaming this by the way.
In public.
Niggas don’t even have the decency to be nice or polite or….you know….know when you ogly and your breath smells like black and mild and financial instability.
But I digress.
I read the news every day. Not because I want to but because it’s literally a part of my job on radio. Almost every day there’s a report of rape or sexual assault. What makes it worse is the government and our legal system seems to be endorsing this shit.
No?
Ok….I’ll tell you a tale of three people.
So let me get this straight.
I can allegedly conspire to kill my spouse, not come close to doing it, get found out, arrested and get $100,000 bail.
I can allegedly voicenote a threat to a policeman, don’t carry it out and get $30,000 bail.
But if I wanna save some money, I can be accused of allegedly carrying out 2 counts of rape, 2 counts of assault and 1 count of threats of death and I will only get *checks notes* $9,000 bail?
What type of fucking judges, laws and legal system do we have? How does that conversation even go?
You’re literally encouraging men to be animals with sparse consequences. And I know some lawyer is gonna bore me to death with some long explanation about the way our legal system works and blah blah law bullshit.
I’m neither smart enough to understand you nor do I care to because my solution is simple….
That’s why they’re called amendments. Amend that shit so women don’t have to feel like if, God forbid, they are put in that nightmare scenario they will at least get some type of justice. Some type of fair repercussion. Its an insult to them and they should be livid at our legal system and our government.
And not just the PLP….ALL of them. Perry, Hubert, Bad Hubert (y’all know EXACTLY which one is bad Hubert don’t play with me)…..ALL.
Know why?
Someone….ANYONE explain it.
Beloved, they got associate degrees in white Jesus. They’re not from nor have they worked with the crisis center. They aren’t counsellors or psychologists. That’s like me going to a potcake and asking it how cars work.
Sure, he’s seen a car. He’s even chased a car. One time he even licked and humped a car but outside of that, its gonna sound like this…
Their manual and moral compass is based around a book written 2,000 years ago, that never got updated, by men that had this to say about women:
Leviticus 12:2
- The LORD said to Moses:
- Tell the Israelites: When a woman has a child, giving birth to a boy, she shall be unclean for seven days, with the same uncleanness as during her menstrual period.
- On the eighth day, the flesh of the boy’s foreskin shall be circumcised,
- and then she shall spend thirty-three days more in a state of blood purity; she shall not touch anything sacred nor enter the sanctuary till the days of her purification are fulfilled.
These the niggas?
These the niggas who y’all wanna consult with on marital rape?
Them?
They want to debate marital RAPE and whether or not we should make it illegal or not.
I’m just saying I’m not sure if the niggas who read, believe and preach this stuff are the IDEAL men to lecture or consult on any matters to do with women, their safety or their bodies.
JUST SAYIN.
We literally live in a country that justifies rape. What’s typically the first thing Bahamians say when a woman is raped or sexually assaulted?
Know what’s scientifically the main cause of rape?
RAPISTS. RAPISTS CAUSE RAPE.
Know how I know? We’ve had SEVERAL incidences of women walking blood naked outside and in traffic. ALL went unraped. No one touched them. So kill that “what she had on?” bullshit. These niggas are monsters. Y’all acting like they out here thinking….
Kill the excuses and BFFR.
I was told once that, when defending or attempting to speak up for women in this regard, you shouldn’t preface it with, “As a man with 4 sisters and a mother….”…and trust me, I know them niggas. I can see it having the same energy of….
But if I can push back on that notion: It matters. Know why it matters? Because I was raised by majority women. They taught me to respect women and protect them. My saintly mother, who thinks that the word “flippin” is a curse word once said to me….
I’m sorry but my perspective is to always make sure women are protected when in my presence. Doesn’t mean I’m not a piece’a shit….cause to be clear, I am. I’m just not a rapey, sexual assaulty, grabby ass, woman hating, verbally abusive piece’a shit is all.
Gentlemen we have to be the solution. No we can’t control the laws or change them. But we can not be friends with creepy, rapey ass niggas.
Ostracize them. Make them niggas uncomfortable. Be there for women. Offer to slide through their corner or just be on the phone late at night if they’re coming home late and they’re alone. If you see a woman is in a precarious situation and she’s blissfully unaware, warn her….say something. And do it all without wanting or requesting vagina cause I know how we go….and let me be clear….I mean that “WE” cause ine no better.
Please understand Bahamian women and girls are NOT safe and it’s getting worse. I literally had a doctor tell me the other day that we only hear about the rapes and sexual assaults that the media catches. They said that’s a miniscule amount compared to what A&E actually sees daily.
Kids.
The elderly.
The disabled.
They are all in danger if we don’t get control of this thing. But the first thing a lot of you niggas need to do is talk to women. Ask them if I’m lying. Show them this article and let them tell you if I’m freaking out or if they genuinely feel safe on this island. I’d rather exaggerate a problem and have an easy fix than be reductive to a problem and we all turn a blind eye leading to another woman’s innocence being taken.
It doesn’t take much I promise you. Sometimes it’s as easy as hopping in the car and driving with them to get food because they’re genuinely scared.
And make no mistake….they’re scared and they shouldn’t have to be.
Imma protect mine. Protect yours. And then lets protect those that don’t have men in their life when and if we can.
Be safe tho.
