Open Letter To Fat/Out Of Shape “New Year, New Me” Bahamians

By Drew

I hate “New Year, New Me” gymmers. They genuinely piss me off. Theres nothing more annoying than some inconsistent person being in your vicinity not knowing what they’re doing and trying to have idle conversation while systematically wasting your time.

As I sit and write a blog that is stupidly inconsistent, loitering on your timeline, having an idle conversation with myself…..while systematically wasting your time. #TheIrony

New Year, New Me, people……hear me and hear me well: Give up….working out/dieting just isn’t for you.

You’re either not ready for this, you’re not built for it or you were probably gorgeous in high school, put on a few pounds, but you’re lowkey still good looking, and still pulling gals/niggas so you’re only doing this (for the 15th year in a row) because its wavy.

This big solid trapsy don’t know what and when to say ass gal that I would TOTALLY still smash someone give her my msn messenger address please!

GTFOH New Year, New me people……and welcome to the conversation to all my fellow fat/out of shape Bahamians that have finally broken the curse and who have made it a month in the gym, doing keto, getting your diet in order, etc.

If you needed a message or a sign to keep going……this is it.

Keep fucking going.

I see you in the gym, sweating like a pig in a sauna. Don’t stress over that. That’s me in the snow. I am ALWAYS hot and sweating. In the gym I sweat like an animal so don’t be shame. I see you posting your pics of all your keto meals or the meager amount of food you’ve been eating lately and, trust me, I get it and appreciate the fact that you HATE doing that shit. Don’t mind them other people faking it for clout.

Y’all know who I mean.

Karen them be out here on some….

“Health is about eating this small amount of fuckery every day and then meditating and letting Beyonce’s light shine through your chakra……also crossfit and did I mention I’m vegan?” – Karen

Not y’all…y’all keepin it honest and I salute that.

Sandia them out here on some….

“Yo, I have no idea what the fuck this is but I’m gonna eat this and go to bed at 6:30pm so I can have some sleep for dessert cause this is dumb. #ButItsOverForYouHoesWhenThisBellyGoneTho #PleaseBelieveThat” – The rest of us

This is NOT the time to stop.

You made it a month and, beloved, I know its hard. I know it’s hard walking in a gym full of cut niggas and tight body gals and you keep adjusting the front of your shirt so they don’t see the bulge. You keep wiping your face with your medium size dish towel because you don’t want them to see you sweat. Beloved, I know the struggle more than you know.

This is me in the gym every day…….ine shame

Keep going.

The body you want is right around the corner.

And, yes….I know you lost a shit load of weight the first 2 weeks but now you’re plateauing. The scale ain going up or down but you’ve been working hard.

That is normal…..also stop weighing yourself.

Weighing yourself every day is like checking the fridge every hour to see if something new is gonna pop in there. Unless you add or subtract enough items to quench your curiosity you’re wasting your time.

“Today I did 50 pushups, was on that stair climber for 30 minutes and did suicides in the Seagrapes plaza and I STILL weigh the same as this morning? Shit is GHETTO!!”

Breathe, slow down…’ll be fine.

The hard reality of your situation is it took you 5 -10+ years to get to this size. Why in the name of Hubert Minnis would you think you would lose all that weight in so little time? This is usually the time y’all give up. 30 days of killing yourself in the gym will not fix years of physical negligence.

This was you for YEARS

But now….

This is you this month #KeepGoing

I can do math: 1st picture + the 2nd picture/30 days in the gym does not =

…you know how hard it is to get to this point? I don’t either but I imagine its VERY hard.

Don’t mind these crash diet, “New Year New Me” ass people. They lose that weight rapidly then put it RIGHT the hell back on shortly. You are not on a diet and you are not “going to the gym now”.

This has to be your lifestyle.

Eating less, counting calories, compensating workouts on Saturday for having a cheat meal Friday….this is all apart of your life now. Make your gym membership a bill, not a luxury. Make working out a priority not a nuisance. Make thinking about what you’re gonna eat a necessity not a fleeting thought. Trust me on that last part.

I used to go to Fanta-C gym across from Doris Johnson…..I know what temptation and discipline is, don’t disrespect me.

See where it says “Pharmacy”? That used to be a Berthas Go-Go Ribs….underneath the goddamn gym. #TalkToMeNice #RealNiggasKnow

You drive past the ribs, I had to workout while smelling those sweet sweet ribs waft into my nose. You know what it is to workout while smelling macaroni and peas&rice as a fat nigga?

(Smt….I’m lowkey still not over that….y’all pray my strength in the Lord)

But that’s what it takes….discipline. And no, it doesn’t come overnight. And you will not be perfect at this. Listen….if you can be good with your meals/working out 90% of the time…..then you’re doing amazing. You’re human….we all cheat…..

…just don’t cheat THIS much

Just cheat this amount….

Its like….you know about the one time….and there were probably other times peppered in there but it wasn’t enough to mash up the WHOLE wibe

You are NOT a “New year, New me” person…’re better than that cause you’re still here.

You are NOT failing because the scale hasn’t moved if you know you’re working hard and eating clean. Just be patient.

You are NOT going to give up now……not yet….I see that goal in your head.

You cant WAIT to flex on the naysayers. And, by the way…..thats perfectly ok to stunt on these hoes/niggas. If that’s your motivation? Then have at it.

Just get it done. And if you have NO other reason to workout then you can share mine……

The robots are going to revolt and we have to be ready….I keep warning y’all bout this but y’all worrying bout fucking “tremors”. Smt #WeGaDie

If you needed a message to keep going then this is it, beloved.

“Forward: Best foot first, just in case”- James Blake

Be safe tho.