Black Men Don’t Cheat Day: A Celebration Of The Perpetually Faithful Black Man
I remember my grandfather fondly. He was quiet but a wise man. Two of his quotes always rang out in times of need, self doubt….and dare I say vulnerability. He used to say, “Andrew….black men have never cheated ever and that is an objective Biblical truth!”. He also used to say, “Get your fat ass off my knee asking me for quotes. How are you not dead yet from all the fatness?”
Suffice to say he was right.
LiL Duval (another great and iconic Bahamian) wrote a song heralding a call to arms of slandered black men. Oh, we had lesser men try and get our message across. God knows there was a point in the 90’s when Babyface put us ALL on his back and tried to speak our truth but sadly it fell on deaf ears.
We were ignored.
Slandered in the media.
They called us harsh and unforgivable things like “cheaters” and “fuckboys” and “out-east niggas” and “sweet-hearters” and “players”. Black men NEVER play games.
Well, that’s not true…..
The heart and soul of the black man belongs to his woman and his woman alone. Look how many of our young kings are out her hydrated, glowing and flourishing with their queens.
I mean look at them.
God bless us, honestly.
I am so proud of us young kings for pushing forward. For avoiding the wiles of these trollips, thots, jungless, fake feminist thirst trapping influencer wannabes, lightskin gals, women from SAC…..etc. We avoid the demons and live to fight another day for the queen….nay….OUR queen that was promised.
I await my queen on top of San Souci hill every morning with a glass of 19 Crimes, a bowl of the finest scorch conch and an ounce of Pinewoods finest marijuana.
She never comes but she will….and I already told her before….
I wont hold y’all. Just a few notes before I close.
Regular Faithful Black Men meetings will be held at the Handsome Black Man Faithfulness and Loyalty Training Center and Wellness Clinic located off Shirley Street in the Pembroke Hanna building.
We will be moving our Friday night Bible readings from the Denzel Washington library to the Morgan Freeman Thot Avoidance training room due to an uptick in membership as we are now at 98% of Black Bahamian Male enrollment.
Do note that the Saturday afternoon non alcoholic/drug free dance has been canceled due to last months incident.
We have tightened security to protect our men from temptation as they stay faithful to their queens.
Lastly, let us thank, young king, Mr. Little Duval for our new and glorious anthem. An anthem worthy of our efforts. Worthy of our trials and worthy of us…..the unsullied, the unbent, the unbroken, and the un-cheating.
An anthem to sing when they ask us to pay the bill ignoring our Biblical track record of chastity as we ignore their beckononings for sex and other sins of the flesh.
An anthem letting them know that we deserve. We deserve it all!
Let them hear it from the hills of Cat Island to the Blue Holes in Long Island. Sing this song from the beaches of Exuma to those Eleuthera Pink sands.
Y’all dont hear me in here this morning.
I SAID SING IT FROM CLIFTON PIER TO THE SUNNY SHORES OF YAMACRAW BEACH.
SING IT UNTIL YOUR LUNGS BURN BECAUSE WE ARE GODS, CHILDREN.
WE ARE HIS KINGS ON EARTH AND IF ITS ONE THING MY YOUNG KINGS DONT DO.