by RENALDO and SANNIE
Week 9 Awards
The “Everyone Watched Me Fall Flat On My Face In Crunchtime But I Swear I’m Good At This” Award presented by Hillary Clinton – Chris Bowell. Sunday notwithstanding, he’s successfully done the Rabona onside kick before.
The “Saying Whatever You Want Works” Award presented by KellyAnne Conway – Mike Zimmer. The Vikings head coach said his players can “suck it up” if he can tolerate eye surgery and that he still believes in Blair Walsh despite his disaster of a season. Trump America.
The “You Don’t Have To Believe, But Watch These Numbers On The Board” Award presented by Donald Trump – Matt Ryan. NFC Offensive Player of the Week with 344 passing yards, four touchdowns, a 144.7 rating a 75% completion. Matty Ice currently leads the league in both passing yards and touchdowns.
NFL Week 10
Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens
SANNIE: I stopped picking this team when I stopped calling myself Brown. Also they’re God awful.
RAVENS over Browns
RENALDO: It was hard to imagine Thursday night football being more disgusting than Jags/Titans. This game… not the election, not Map, but this game and Roger Goodell’s quest to make football less fun are directly responsible for a drop in NFL ratings this year.
RAVENS over Browns
Kansas City Chiefs at Carolina Panthers
RENALDO: Travis Kelce lost his mind last week, and it speaks volumes that it was the most entertaining thing a team that lost only two of their last 18 games has done in that stretch. Nick Foles swaps in for Alex Smith, running back by committee swaps in for Jamaal Charles and nothing changes. Last place in the NFC South is the perfect place for the Panthers to make a run for no apparent reason.
PANTHERS over Chiefs
SANNIE: This is a very sad day for me. Cam is my favourite but I need a win and lets be real, he isn’t going to give it to me. Forgive me Cam.
CHIEFS over Panthers
Los Angeles Rams at New York Jets
SANNIE: California did not disappoint me, they came through for Hilary so I will come through for them.
RAMS over Jets
RENALDO: So did New York, but I digress. Jeff Fisher….that’s enough. Play Jared Goff. If your number one overall pick is a downgrade from what your offence has in place now, then he shouldn’t have been the number one overall pick. Four straight losses, fading from contention and going against a reeling Jets and Bryce Petty at quarterback is the time to make the move. Let Jared Goff be great.
RAMS over Jets
Atlanta Falcons at Philadelphia Eagles
RENALDO: All in with the Falcons. We have to spend less time waiting on the other shoe to drop and more time accepting the fact that after years of coming close and falling apart, this team has built up the sweat equity to contend. Clearly Carson Wentz was winning in spite of the talent around him, now we see what they really are…the Eagles.
FALCONS over Eagles
SANNIE: RHOA is BACK!!!!!!!!! And better than ever, my Sunday’s now have meaning. Now if they would only bring Nene back.
FALCONS over Eagles
Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars
RENALDO: Gus Bradley is 14-42 halfway through his fourth season as the Jaguars’ head coach. He said that the Jags “need to win one to get hot.” No Gus, winning one makes you 3-6. What exactly does he have to do to get fired?
TEXANS over Jags
SANNIE: I am having a real love/hate relationship with Florida right now. They could really go to hell right now for giving Trump that win.
TEXANS over Jags
Denver Broncos at New Orleans Saints
RENALDO: The Orange Crush fanbase is questioning whether Trevor Siemian is the guy at quarterback moving foreword. Bare in mind…this is a team that won a Super Bowl with Peyton Manning’s carcass, so if they don’t think Siemian’s the guy, that speaks volumes. The Saints have won four of their last five games which leads me to believe that Drew Brees will not only live, but be great at quarterback forever. Even with his Wrangler endorsement.
SAINTS over Broncos
SANNIE: Yep. I am still mad Ididnt get to go to New Orleans as I was supposed to for my birthday, so even though the city did nothing to me, I am bitter and mad.
BRONCOS over Saints
Green Bay Packers at Tennessee Titans
RENALDO: Aaron Rodgers spent his entire career telling people to relax because his belief in his ability to elevate this team would always be good enough to win. After last Sunday’s loss he called out his team for their “uncharacteristically low energy.” I don’t think Rodgers sees elevation possible with this group. The most surprising thing about the Titans is that they have one of the best offenses in the league. They rank eighth in yards (379.4) and 12th in points (24.1) .
TITANS over Packers
SANNIE: The Titans have lost more games than they won, so I think the safe bet is Green Bay.
PACKERS over Titans
Minnesota Vikings at Washington Racial Slurs
RENALDO: How long before Adrian Peterson gets back? That’s literally the only thing that stops this Warriors/Cleveland Baseball Team/Clinton Campaign like collapse. Remember when the Vikings were undefeated? Me either.
RACIAL SLURS over Vikings
SANNIE: Vikings. Just because I am back on the ‘this team needs to change their name” wagon.
VIKINGS over Racial Slurs
Chicago Bears at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
RENALDO: The first game back for Doug Martin means the Bucs returned to some semblance of normalcy. The Bears are a much better team with Jay Cutler than without him, but that team’s still not very good.
BUCS over Bears
SANNIE: I am not supposed to the choosing any Florida teams but the Bears suck and I want to win.
BUCS over Bears
Miami Dolphins at San Diego Chargers
RENALDO: Jay Ajayi is the fourth best team in the NFL. Irrefutable facts. At halftime he should be fitted for his Hall of Fame jacket and with about 1:30 left, the Dolphins should be up by four, the Chargers will have the ball and Phillip Rivers will have to go the length of the field. He wont.
DOLPHINS over Chargers
SANNIE: Not happening Miami, not today.
CHARGERS over Dolphins
San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals
SANNIE: The 49ers really won only one game? Gee what’s happening there?
CARDS over Niners
RENALDO: What’s happening here is the exact formula of how to build a God awful football team. It’s amazing that this team was in the Super Bowl a few years ago. To sum up what happened since: Chip Kelly, mass retirement, Harbaugh Exodus, Jim Tomsula, Chip Kelly, Injuries, Quarterback speaking out against social injustice but not voting and Chip Kelly.
CARDS over Niners
Dallas Cowboys at Pittsburgh Steelers
RENALDO: We were at this point last year with the Steelers and a hobbled Ben Roethlisberger. They went from 4-4 to 10-6 by the end of the year and earn a spot in the playoffs. In fact they’ve ended the season strong for the past two years. Big Ben said “it’s halftime” indicating a second half surge. I wouldn’t trust him alone with a woman, but I trust him about this.
STEELERS over Cowboys
SANNIE: I have no clue about any of these teams soooo Steelers. For no real reason at all.
STEELERS over Cowboys
Seattle Seahawks at New England Patriots
RENALDO: This is the exact game Jimmy Graham was bought in for. With the backfield the Seahawks have right and Rusell Wilson constantly with tired legs, this would actually be the time to throw the ball from the one yard line with the game on the line.
PATS over Seahawks
SANNIE: Wow, so today is the day I don’t choose any of my go-to-picks. Sorry Russell, forgive me.
PATS over Seahawks
Cincinnati Bengals at New York Giants
SANNIE: This is another matchup I don’t really care about. So Giants, because I love New York.
GIANTS over Bengals
RENALDO: Do we care about the AJ Green/Beckham matchup…or anything about this game for that matter? As the standings show you, Sannie doesn’t have to know about football to be right about this stuff.
GIANTS over Bengals
