By Drew

 

 

The first quarter of 2019 is coming to an end and notice I haven’t addressed gals yet. I waited for a bit because this #MeToo stuff is no joke. Never have so many been accused of so much in such a small amount of time. Its to the point where I think that’s how the Avengers will beat Thanos.

“So we found that in 2003 you inappropriately touched several women so….snap ya ass to jail, bro”

Frankly, I’m glad that we’re ousting the bad apples from the bunch. A lot of men are out here doing a lot of BS and taking advantage of a system rigged in their favor to begin with and it’s not right. Women deserve love, respect, and to not have to fear for their wellbeing in ANY circumstances where men are in charge let alone present.

“Wow…Andrew seems to get it. How refreshingly mature! At no point will this article go completely left and I end up hating every fiber of his being” – Naïve girl who never read any of my articles

All that good shit aside…..y’all are no better than us and y’all have been messing up a LOT as of late. SO……. heres all the things women need to stop doing in 2019.

I don’t know why I’m the one to address this and not y’all but…..why do women hate women so much? I know…its weird for a man to address this seeing as I win when you fight and squabble but…out of curiosity….why gals hate gals so much?

 

I’m lying?

 

Remember that time the government was like…

“Hey….y’all wan have rights just like niggas so when y’all have kids they could…I don’t know….be Bahamian?”

And y’all was like…

“lol…Nah because my pastor and Jesus and other gals dumb mostly so….yeah…. no. Thanks tho” – some gals

That literally happened. When the referendum was presented women were right there with niggas  signing away their rights.

Even in the work place if its majority women it’s a legit issue. Do y’all know how much power y’all would have if you could just get along?

Also could y’all please stop posting thirst traps and then putting a deep quote under it? Fam….I’m gonna like that shit regardless because you fine as fuck but, beloved….these captions ain matching the energy you givin me.

Gals out here on some…

“Blessed is she who comes in the name of the lord. I walk in Gods light and in no way is this a cry for attention. #Blessed #GodIsLove”

Listen I’m not saying you’re a hoe…..get your money and surgery and all that. Ine mad at you and frankly its not my business.

But, beloved….its a thirst trap. Let’s call it what it is. White Jesus didn’t die on the cross for you to quote him under a pic with half a titty out is all I’m saying. I’m not even mad at you. Niggas don’t talk about y’all bad. Know who judgin you? OTHER GALS….I promise its not us. All men do is….

 

“Now if you see here she clearly squats….her buttocks are breathtaking!! I’m gonna hit like to show my admiration for this legal porn lovely picture!!”

Speaking of which: Ladies, just because you’re smart, beautiful, talented, independent and successful does not mean you qualify for good nigga dick. Has it ever occurred to any of you that you’re single because you either ogly, boring, generally not his type or just a terrible person? Gals out here looking like gargamel making angry posts about ALL men like they fine.

Beloved….act your face/shape.

“I’m so tired of Bahamian men. They don’t appreciate a good woman and it shows! Imma stay single because they don’t deserve me!!” #UneSingleByChoiceTho #WeirdFlexButOk

I know women are “perfect” and what not but has it ever occurred to you that maybe there are some niggas who just out of your league? Or do y’all think just because you have a vagina that niggas will just be on your run because….I don’t know…it exists? Men have to stay in their lane daily and the ones who try get rejected…a lot. What makes you think y’all are exempt?

 

Lol…its 2019. I can’t speak for other niggas but as for 10thYearSeniors….we picky out here in these streets.

Ok not all of us. I may or may not have masturbated to some midget porn last night but you get what I’m saying #DontKnockItTillYouTryIt #XNXX #CantGetYaHandPregnant

And stop snickering, friends of these delusional women, cause y’all to blame too. Stop gassing your unattractive, mean spirited friends and telling them they’re amazing.

 

They’re not and you know it.

 

Cause you know good and gatdamn well that ANY gal who talkin bout ,“A lot of men can’t handle me and that’s why I’m single”, is probably unaware that her terrible attitude and lack of skills in conflict resolution are the clear issue.

Gals be out here bragging about being adults.

” I pay my own bills, have my own car, pay my own mortgage and have 14 degrees in things you know nothing about so……I deserve the world!”

You….you mean like the rest of us? Cause…that’s the way being an adult works. Like….y’all know that right? I love that some of these women want credit for shit you kinda have to do anyway.

Oh and moving forward…..stop bringing your heart into a vaginal situation. A lot of y’all signed up for casual platonic dick and trying to sneak your heart in there.

That was NOT the contract we agreed to, madam.

“I know you told me several times this is just sex but I don’t mean ANYTHING to you by now? I have my masters in business….you realise that makes me wifey material right….RIGHT?”

Lol…silly rabbit. Stop letting your vagina write cheques that your heart can’t cash.

And please get it through your head that not all men are the same. Just because one man was clearly not on your run does not mean ALL men are fucked up. That’s like me dating an obvious prostitute, with blaring red flags, and then go on Facebook talking about…

“I’m so tired of these tingsy prostitutes who I meet in strip clubs! All they do is cheat and take your money?”

See how dumb that sounds? You knew who/what he was when you met him. Don’t blame all men for the sins of your choices.

Ask yourself what it is about you that keeps attracting aint shit niggas. Take some responsibility for your horrible mistakes.

Quick question: Why do y’all keep spending money to hear unaccomplished people tell you things your mother probably could have told you and then label it “#GirlBoss”? Gals out here just gassing y’all for $50 a head, cupcakes and cheap champagne. They like Baptist ministers out here hustling y’all while niggas laugh.

“I have 0 college or life experience but I have 5,000 Instagram followers and I dress well so let me tell you how to build a company based on things I googled 10minutes ago”

Y’all out here chasing dreams off air because some gal who live with her mommy gat you lookin dumb. Check half of these influencers/creatives and tell me how many of them aren’t either married to a man making money, live at home or have a boyfriend helping them pay them bills. Please stop quitting y’all jobs and going to seminars, where gals charge y’all, for them to talk shit for an hour so you can chase your dreams to make dolls out of Dorito chips….as a career.

“Child I went to that #GirlBoss seminar and I cant wait to quit my 9-5 so I can be as broke as them and move back in with my parents”

Every actual girl boss I know never brags about it on social media….they just go out there and do the damn thing. Noelle Rolle, Elaine Sawyer, Kershela Albury, Megan Minus, Tamara Hield, Josette Demeritte, Nicky Adderley, Sonia/Simone/Danielle Bain, Lyric Knowles, Jan Knowles….any of these names ring a bell?

 

Know why they don’t?

 

CAUSE THEY AT WORK DOING THEIR GODDAMN JOBS.

 

I’m not saying don’t chase your dreams but, beloved, don’t quit your day job cause some gal with plenty likes talk shit to you for an hour.

Oh, and by the way….just because you’re popular doesn’t mean you’re fine. I getting tired of these social media people thinking they look good because of likes. Then have the audacity to have an attitude like they reach!

And y’all keep liking the shit and talkin bad about them behind their backs.

 

I’m lyin?

 

Who pops in your head when I say, “Boy she got a nice body but that face is a tragedy”.

Know whats funny? Its couple of em and y’all don’t know which one I mean….lol

And who told y’all we hate dark skin women? When did that become a, “man problem”. No no…y’all misheard us: We said we don’t like OGLY dark skin women. The same way we don’t like OGLY lightskin, fat, skinny, etc etc.

These women are objectively beautiful….no one disagrees with that.

Perfection

Cut the foolishness.

We never said we didn’t like chubby or fat women….we just didn’t like the ogly set. I love a chubby chick. If your thighs don’t touch then you’re wasting my time.

Perfection

But thats MY preference. And ya know what….when since is it not ok to have a preference?

 

Stop me if you heard this one:

 

Women: “I want a man who is 6’4, fit, tattoos, college educated, big dick, thuggish, not thuggish, gorgeous, Christian and stamina like a rabbit on xstacy.”

 

…and all the women say….

“YYYYAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. We deserve!”

Niggas: “I wouldn’t mind a woman who works out like me”

 

Women:

“The audacity of this nigga!!! All women are beautiful and amazing and perfect how dare you!!!”

Pardon me?

 

So y’all deserve Jason Momoa but I gotta settle for the gal from Precious because, if I don’t, I hate women because y’all think all women are beautiful?

 

Um…all of you are NOT.

 

FOH

 

Y’all love to say “looks don’t matter” until the ugly nigga says “Good morning” and you turn your nose at him.

 

I’m lying?

This guy has a good job, will treat you with sense and probably love you and be loyal to you forever. Looks matter now or nah?

No?

We’re allowed to have preferences too and just because that preference isn’t you that’s perfectly ok because men get rejected EVERY DAY. Welcome to reality.

You’ll be fine.

 

Now, for y’all feminists and fake woke gals……cut it out.

Just….just stop, bey.

Listen, you have allies. You have men that will ride for you and defend you to the end. But not EVERYTHING is a cause, beloved, I promise.

“Your breath is so hot that it made my right boob perspire which is a form of sexual AND nasal assault. I’ll have to make a Facebook post about this so women are aware of how problematic you are.” #what?

Yes, I know there are men out there that are absolute pieces of shit and I agree that rapists, pervs, pedophiles, any man that’s creepy…..throw them all under the prison.

 

In fact I’m reminded of a story recently in the news of a man drugging women, robbing them, and touching them without consent……oh wait….

Find the lie….I’ll wait

Well this is awkward. But I know all these fake woke and feminist gals out here are probably livid that she’s doing this and getting away with it because equality right?

Actual footage of the feminist/woke movement in the face of a female Bill Cosby…..who steals

Funny how that energy wasn’t the same when y’all were blocking and deleting niggas over R Kelly(who deserves to rot in hell by the way. Both things can be true I promise!). Maybe that was a one off though. Has to be, right?

..nothing? No? Weird

I want my daughter to be a strong feminist and stronger woman. BUT…. I want her to understand nuance. That she should be respected, loved and equal to any man. But also that she should defend her brothers, uncles, cousins and any other man in her life with the same energy that she defends herself, sisters, aunts, etc.

But not like this.

“Then he asked me to pay half the bill and I was like whaaaaat?! Niggas ain shit. I’m a strong independent woman who don’t need no man tho!!”

Either believe in equality or be intellectually honest and just admit it: You don’t want equality….you just want the perks of equality without the headache of actually having to be equal.

 

Y’all stop reading when I stop telling the truth…

 

Be safe tho

 

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