By Drew

 

A year or so ago, after the Hubert Minnis/FNM “red wave” took over our country, I was excited. See, I promised my mother I would never vote in an election until there was someone running that wasn’t Hubert Ingram or Perry Christie. We had a new prime minister and I gave him a word of advice in an article saying, “Don’t Trump this up”. Does that even need an explanation?

This guy has the nuclear codes…..THIS GUY HAS THE NUCLEAR CODES, PEOPLE!!!!!

Donald Trump has not only divided his country, he has also divided the world because for some reason, after he was elected, politics all over the world went nuts. Brexit, the elections in Brazil, K. Michelle had butt REDUCTION surgery…..life strange. To be fair to Hubert Minnis, at least Trump has division amongst Americans to fall back on as an excuse. What do you do when we’re so united with disdain for an FNM government that even the conchy Joes ain happy with how terrible a job you’re doing?

“Bey, I almost miss Pindling the way this nigga messin up……ALMOST #LetsNotGoCrazy”

But I’m not here to talk about the monstrously terrible job that Hubert Minnis and his party are doing. Pick up a newspaper and enjoy the nightmare on your own time. I’m here because, in the coming years, we are going to have to decide where we go from here. It’s time we decide who the next Bahamian leader will be…..and fast.

I’m not stupid, folks.

Ok…..I am pretty stupid…shut up.

Regardless of my stupidity I know how stupid most of us are as well.

Soon as we get closer to elections the stench of Oban, Byron Ferguson, VAT, crime, the Post office/town centre mall fiasco, etc will be but a memory. Not because we forgot but because niggas really like (free) T-Shirts and rum.

Stan Lee didn’t die for these fake characters to have this much power over you people #RIPStanTho

Yes, folks: Minnis and Co. have a solid chance of winning again because of our inability to hold politicians feet to a standard let alone a fire (Pun intended).

Niggas will forget about Lighthouse Point and justify it drunkenly on E-News like these niggas didn’t decide to just kill off a whole eco-system off air. I can see the interview now…

“I know they killed off the eco system while running a biased and one sided campaign for Disney, but these wings and fries out here really reflect what they bring to the table moving forward” #Niggas #WeGaDie”

But don’t go getting your panties wet just yet, PLP…..Ine on y’all run either.

Oh, sorry: Y’all thought this was a Pro-PLP article where I tell all 9 of my readers to vote y’all in just because Minnis them fucking up aye?

lol…Silly rabbits.

Naw, fam: Y’all lousy too.

“Ween even gotta try….couple breast snack, 1 or 2 sweet soda and play some old clips of Pindling and we Gucci. Anyone have Beres on they phone? “Grassroots” niggas Love Beres.”

So this is what it’s come to.

Both parties suck, both are greedy, Trump is president, VAT is 12%, beer has gone from 3 for $5 to now 4 for $9 and everything sucks.

 

But I’m optimistic.

 

Yip, you read that right. I am.

 

I’m an 80’s baby. I was raised by 70’s babies and was brought into this world by a 40’s baby. I’ve heard the stories and yet I’ve been raised to think forward. Ladies and gentleman: The future is ours….and we have to grab it next election and run.

We tried to put the weight of the youth on Branville McCartney but that nigga, I assume, has been put on manners by, I assume, Brent Syomette who, I assume, is the overlord of all of this shit.

Sidebar: I talk a lot of shit about B. Syms but honestly I’m at a point where I don’t even think HE knows whats happening right now. Apologies, beloved. I judged you too harshly.

“Ok, real talk….I told these niggas Hubert INGRAHAM …….NOT Minnis….. but y’all hard head and now I have all this corned beef I gotta sell. Smt”

We are lost, folks.

But when you’re lost you don’t call this guy….

“Ok so we didn’t know ALL of you had internet and common sense so we have to retract our last set of lies and horse fuckery we told you concerning a whole mans life that I didn’t care enough about to at least try statement! #ThePeoplesTime “

Where do you go when you’re lost? You go back home….to the people….

To everyone involved with trying to locate Byron Ferguson with divers, boats, planes,….everyone. Thank you. Thank you for reminding Bahamians who we are even when our politicians forget who they WERE. God Bless and Godspeed.

It’s time to stop posting facebook statuses and calling into political shows and talking that good talk and not walking it. The old guard is dying out and now it’s time for us 70’s-80’s babies to correct the wrongs of past administrations…

 

…and its starts with vision.

 

The legalisation of marijuana, gay rights, solar power, Bamboo Shack/Checkers being open on Sundays, new gambling laws, accountability for VAT…etc.

 

What?

 

Oh the Bamboo/Checkers thing? I think they don’t open on Sundays because of white Jesus but the lord I serve wasn’t against it.

“I mean ya gotta eat and ain everyone is wan cook so misewell open the Checkers by the prison, specifically, so niggas out east can partake.” – Niggerations Chapt 4:20 #PraiseBeToGod

I’m looking at you, Sebas Bastian.

 

Stop rolling your eyes, some of you.

 

Island Luck has done more for this country than most of these churches.

 

Name one church that gives as much as the number houses do WITHOUT making 10% of your salary a mandatory part of “worship”.

 

I’ll wait.

“Ok so the bible NEVER asked for 10% of my salary and neither did Island Luck but one of these institutions demands it and another has freedom of choice and free coffee/internet.”

I’m not saying the man is without sin, but he clearly knows how to run a business from the ground up and he clearly gives a fuck about the people and even if he doesn’t…..HE’S ALREADY RICH.

Please understand that most these politicians use their power as a come-up. Sebas came up long time…..fuck he ga need ya lil $25,000 bribe for???

Ok, that’s a fair argument but stay focused.

I’m looking at you, Kyran Darron Turnquest.

 

I’ve known Kyran from Acadia days and this nigga insists on leading shit. If he was a jonser he would be chief co-ordinating officer for jonser crack distribution and barefoot affairs.

“This association must remain steadfast in the sharing and equal distribution of the crack so ALL involved can get higher than giraffe dick as they so please!” #TheHeroWeNeed

He has worked in government and I would vote for him. Look him up, meet the man……trust me, you wont leave disappointed.

 

I’m looking at you, Terneille Burrows.

This young woman has been on the political and social scene for years. She is an amazing person, a capable leader and, not to be one of these goony ass niggas who claim they’re “feminist” but…..she’s a woman.

 

We need more women in politics. We cant keep asking G. Martin and Lo Lo to carry the torch if we don’t have someone SERIOUS to replace them.

I mean…we had a good run but…you still married, Beloved. I’m willing to walk away but you have to tell me how far. #MissYou #ComeBackHome #iCanChange #Kidding #NotReally

She has run before and I’m praying she runs again only this time PAY ATTENTION, people.

 

I’m looking at you, Juan McCartney.

 

He went to Kingsway so….I don’t think we need much more proof but I guess I can elaborate.

If there is anyone that has a plan, nay, a vision for us, I would put it in his hands. Y’all may argue that he has no experience and he’s “just a radio politician” but….

This guy rode a bus to prove to people he was “grassroots”….with cameras, tv personnel, bodyguards, and I assume hand sanitiser. #GrassrootsTho

And for (and I cant emphasize this enough) FUCKS sake, will Fred Mitchell PLEASE stand up?

 

Bruh

 

What is it gonna take for the smartest man in the room to get a leadership position? This is the state of our democracy people. You may not like him, you may think he’s an arrogant horrible person: But can we agree HE IS THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE ROOM. When did we decide that we’re going to vote party and not THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE ROOM?!?!

 

Someone name the current MP for Fox Hill and what she’s DONE for fox Hill.

 

I’ll wait.

 

                                       Sade has a new song. Let’s listen while we wait.

 

Exactly.

 

The man has the temperament, swag, resolve, respect, empathy and, in case I haven’t said it…..HE’S THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE ROOM ALWAYS.

 

Listen, I don’t have a plan.

I never do.

I’m a kite in a hurricane.

But I do know we can’t go on like this. They are about to build yet ANOTHER power plant ignoring the fact that’s its hot and sunny 488 days of the year and we can use solar power.

We’re still listening to the church about….well everything. We’re legit consulting niggas in a robe named named “Kevin” on the fate of the whole country because he told us he loves Jesus more than everyone else and Jesus told him we must listen which makes sense to y’all I guess.

Imagine if I tried that.

“So I’ve convinced folks to worship Thanos and they legit pay me to live, eat and sleep better than they do. But anyway….gays, drugs, sex, sin, etc”

Are you kidding?

 

We need a plan, we need vision and we need better men than what we have.

We need better men than me.

We need more women in power.

We need more diversity.

 

…we need you.

 

Whoever you are reading this I mean YOU.

The people will support you. WE will support you. But, have a plan, have vision, have the balls to stand up to co-operations and the world. Have the eyes to see beyond religion and see the truth.

The truth is the world is changing and we are being left behind.

The truth is we are still not where we should be.

The truth is it’s time to stop talking and posting and writing and time to fucking do something.

“I have no intention of actually helping with anything I’m about to complain about but I feel super relevant when I complain on a public platform because Facebook likes/comments make me less empty inside!”

I can’t do it.

I have way too much anime, comics and porn on my computer to make me worthy of the position. I spent the better part of my morning wondering if the witch from The Little Mermaid should be able to say the N word or not.

Is she black or a white southern drag queen that fucked with niggas heavy? #TheImportantQuestions

The future needs to be in the hands of someone better…..male or female.

 

Is it you?

 

 

Honorary mention to:

 

Joey Gaskins -smart, common sense, great leader…..lightskin nigga with locks and always in a suit: The 3 pillars of leadership you can trust. 

 

Ranard Henfield – We forgive you for selling out, beloved. Do something

 

Kershala Albury – Smart, great leader, Business woman, Scorpio

 

Devard Hannah – Seasoned lawyer, Amazing leader, well spoken, man of God cause we know how y’all love a nigga who love Jesus, beyond intelligent….bought me Indian food once.

 

Jevon Neely – Man of god, entrepreneur, writer, great leader, empathetic, always has on a suit for some reason.

 

Felix Beneby – Leader, accomplished lawyer, no nonsense, Kingsway alumni

 

Travis Miller – visionary, amazing leader, loves his people, single (so he has time)

 

Rodney Moncur – Man for the people/of the people, surprisingly intelligent, smarter than you think, loud as fuck. 

 

John Marc Nutt – Amazing corned beef and white rice, changed the curry game for years to come, East Kemp Rd native (man of the “people”)

 

Frank aka Miguel Angelo – Lightskin, respects women to a fault, once took a selfie in a bath robe for cultural purposes.

 

Gina Knowles – Kingsway Alumni, Runs a website for people that don’t know Google exists, Woman of the people, single handedly doing more that the RBPF AND the RBDF at the moment to save a life….all around badass. 

 

Gail Hanna – Same as Travis Miller sans the penis and capoeira.

 

 

Be safe tho

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