By Drew

 

I’ve been listening to a lot of Drake recently. Anyone who follows individuals from 10th Yr Seniors knows that we stan for Drake constantly on social media because….well because people who don’t like Drake get SOOOO tight when we post picture after picture.

“LOL…look how mad everyone is at our Drake posts. Lets find pictures of scorpions to really push them over the edge!” – Me and Canada Kari

As we all know, Drake got a “porn star” pregnant, had a son and hid it from the world (or possibly hid the world from him…go figure) The cry from a lot of females is, “All those good women he dated and he went and got the porn star preggo? TF?!”. Firstly, if she truly is a porn star, I imagine it would be pretty difficult to NOT get her pregnant. Her job is literally sex….like……that’s what she has her Masters degree in.

“Mommy is at work about to do an anal gangbang with a few Nigerians….let dad help you with your fractions, K?”

A lot of women seem to think that just because they aren’t hoes, or a porn star, that by default that makes them a “good woman” and then argue that men don’t want said good women and that’s why they’re alone.  I’m here to tell you that all women are great but being great does not a good woman make.

First off, allow me to immediately contradict myself for a sec; Not all women are great. The same way there are dumb niggas, smart niggas, great niggas, honest niggas and Hubert Minnis, does not mean that that there are no variations to women. I know smart women, dumb women, emotional women, cold women, intelligent women, etc etc. I don’t know when we polarized a womans status but left the door of nuance and complexity wide open for men.

How is that fair?

I know several hoes with hearts of gold.

“Did I sleep with your brother? Yes. But hey….yours is bigger.” #ForgivenessIsImportant #EasyToForgiveWhenSheStrokesYourEgo #EgoIsShortForPenis

Just because she sleeps around does not make her a hoe, ladies. It also doesn’t make you better than her. I see a lot of “good women” complaining about how all these hoes and bad girls and jungless are getting married. Please know that when you’re complaining to men we may be looking at you like this….

 

But rest assured we’re really thinking this…

“Une even that fine to begin with AND you annoying, bey…….I could see why you alone!”

But he’ll say this..

“No man, what?!!?!?! You deserve better than everything this world has given you and I wish you every happiness in life as it has been prophesied by the old gods and the new”

Beloved, that nigga lyin.

The reason men date/marry/cheat on you with bad women is because bad women are simply amazing to be around. The irony is, ALL women have a bad friend. You know that friend who you THINK is too fat, too loud, too not-pretty-as-you (you think), embarrasses you when you’re out, etc? You know her….she’s the one whose relationship you predicted would never workout because of her hoe tendencies and penchant for drinking and smoking marijuana but then, 2 years later…

Ask your doctor if being a bad gal will work for you as well! #itsFunnyCauseItsTrue

She may be bad in your eyes but rest assured she’s a good time to 80% of niggas with a penis. Marrying that female, providing she keeps that same energy?

Priceless.

Understand, ladies, that men don’t always want to have the heavy conversation or hear intensely about your day and how the bitch from Human Resources sent you an email you didn’t appreciate. We also don’t want to constantly argue about the same thing every week because of your insecurities.

Bruh, that’s what your girlfriends/gay friends are for!

This is Mary and her gay friend Marcus. Look how he absorbs all the tea so that by the time she gets home she is relieved of her emotions and can now effectively not speak for a bit. #ThankYouMarcus

Then there are the “I have this degree that I worked hard for so by default Jesus should have a man waiting for me!” gals.

Lol….let me get this straight.

You went off to school for 4 years to do your Bachelors. Traveled to Europe or somewhere sexy and exotic to do your masters and to “find yourself”. Then you spent some time in America where you did work study under some nigga whose name no one can pronounce but you’re super proud that you, and only you, can cause that’s a thing for you. Then you, an intellectual, come home in your 30’s…..and expect niggas to just bow down to your intellectual superiority just because you smart?

“…then she called me an uncultured swine like I’m NOT screwing her “good” friend on the low! LMAO”

Listen, congrats on your scholastic achievements and what not….you’re super good at learning things. But that has nothing to do with who you are as a person. Imagine me, a small dick, no stamina, fat nigga with hot breath and 0 personality approaching a female, riddling off that resume and then expecting to be worthy of marriage let alone have someone touch my penis?

Education doesn’t get ugly niggas laid……money does.

Never forget that this (violently ugly) not-that-rich nigga had several women competing for his love

Doesn’t work that well for women tho….sadly enough.

She is richer than Flavor Flav and yet the lightskin, crossfit, christian fella Tyler Perry promises these gals has yet to arrive. Weird, eh?

Then there are the chicks that think Jesus will just up and send them a dude.

Beloved, I know his eye is on the sparrow but Trump is president, VAT is 12%, Hubert Minnis….um, exists, I’m pretty sure Brent Symonnette has all 5 infinity stones and the robot apocalypse is closer now than its ever been…

I keep warning y’all bout this but y’all worrying bout corn beef….smt. We ga die

With all that going on do you really think white Jesus has time to send a nigga to your door to not only ask you out but tolerate your 5yrs of being single enough to marry you?

Bruh….expiration dates are real.

Please stop listening to dumb niggas that can’t spell and have to borrow gas money from you who keep telling y’all that the longer you haven’t had sex the better it is….thats just not true.

“Hey, you up? This gal done bite up my dick and then grind me like she was having a seizure…..I need a hug…also bandaids because my dick bleedin from the biting”

They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. If that’s true then imagine if the “old dog” hasnt been used in 5 years and has grown a plethora of…..um….whiskers. You still really confused why you can’t find a nigga let alone keep one?

Then there is this new wave of “Girl Bosses” that think their entrepreneurial spirit and drive to make money and find success is so palpable that they are only single because “men can’t handle a strong woman.”

These are the same women that have their “self made” resume READY, my nigga.

“I pay my own bills, feed myself, take care of my child, buy my own gifts and take myself out on dates because I DON’T NEED NO MAN!!”

Beloved, you’re doing what all adult humans SHOULD be doing. Imagine if a man had the NERVE to spill out his resume with so much hubris.

“I wash my own car, buy my own Bamboo Shack, eat it…BY MYSELF…no help needed. I wipe my own ass, hold my OWN dick when I pee…..”

You’re confusing being an adult with being special.

No, boo…..millions of people are doing the exact same thing you’re doing and for some reason a lot of them are able to get a man while you were busy annoying yet another nigga at the bar complaining about how you don’t like guys at bars.

This is the look of a man being told how shitty men are by a woman he mistakenly bought a drink for. #PrayForHim

This is the part where, inevitably someone will assume I only date bimbos, hoes or easy girls because in your mind I’m making misogynist claims.

That’s lazy logic.

There is nothing more attractive to me than a strong woman. In fact, I could never be with a weak chick because I simply don’t have the patience. Lest we forget, they broke up Superman and Lois Lane and now he’s dating Wonder Woman for that same reason.

“I broke Lois’s hip bone once during backshots so this is a great situation for me right now”

 

Yes there are bitch niggas out there that cant handle all that a strong woman has to offer. They shirk at the mere mention of a woman with a degree or common sense and make fun of those that may not be as smart as they are just to make themselves feel alpha.

I can concede that

So if I can admit that, can y’all gals please just call a spade a spade and admit that you being single is not that you’re smart, intelligent, working, wealthy or more traveled? Those are awesome things about you…who doesn’t want that? So if we truncate that info then whats left?

Oh, I don’t have the answers for you, kiddo. If you want answers you have to ask this guy…

No filters, no lies….no one spits more real talk than this fella

 

Then there are the game playing women. You know the ones: Bold enough to beat you over the head at every chance they get with your past transgressions but the minute you shine a light on theirs they decide they are blind, deaf and dumb. Ladies, a mans love and loyalty has no correlation to the amount of bullshit you purposely put him through I promise.

“So after 6 months of game playing, starting drunken arguments and being annoying whenever possible…..I think it’s fair to conclude that he really loves me” #I’mGoodLoveEnjoy

No nigga is staying through that and if he does then he’s going to cheat on you within a year….please believe that.

If you’re over 30 and still playing games in this climate of gay, incarcerated and “other” niggas then Godspeed, beloved. Its slim pickings as it is and you decided to take an imperfect but good man and break him down just so you can put your own insecurities to rest?

lol….ok, but remember that the only thing more dangerous than a woman with a plan is a man with options.

Just tell the truth when your friends ask you is all I’m saying.

“He says he’s tired of the games and general hypocrisy that I can’t categorically disprove…lol Niggas ain shit!!”

But back to Drake.

Drake got a porn star pregnant because he didn’t use a fucking condom….that’s it. You assume Rihanna, Jorja Smith and all these well known women would be better suited for him and forget that Halle Berry, the once considered most beautiful woman in the world to THIS DAY can’t keep a nigga but y’all mad at Drake.

Y’all “black power” gals were real quiet when her and Serena married white niggas. Keep that same energy concerning Drake then, beloved #ScorpionInStoresNow

Fleeting beauty won’t keep a man. Sure you’ll get one with your good looks but then they have the messy part of getting to know you….the REAL you. Halle Berry is a testament to when society’s version of “popular”, “perfect” or “smart” does not mean you’re girlfriend, wifey or marriage material.

It just means you photograph well.

But I digress.

Be alone or be single…that is your God given right. Be with multiple men if you so please.…..that is also your God given right.

But don’t blame men, God, society, your ex, his ex, your parents, your job…..ANYONE for why you can’t find/keep a man. Either the niggas you’re picking ain’t shit or……well, do I really need to finish that for you?

 

Your true self is the selfie you never take. Your true intent is the meme you never share. And that inability to maintain, let alone start something healthy, with a man or woman is the true (insta)story you never tell.

Talk to the mirror in front of you…..everything else will fall into place.

 

Selah…

 

…be safe tho

 

 

 

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