By Drew

 

Dakarai/Nal and I have a mutual friend: His name is Frank. Ok….that’s not actually his name but for some weird reason we all call him that and I doubt he wants his government name out there for the world to know cause that would be weird for him at happy hour tonight, I imagine.

lol…jk, His name is Miguel

 

That’s Frank.

He speaks in Drake lyrics, he has the ugliest/lightest deadlift on the planet and he’s a super nice guy if I’m being honest. Now….look at that picture again for me.

You good? K…cool.

Is Frank light skinned?

For all of you that said yes I applaud you and would like to congratulate for having eyes and for those that don’t think so then you’re wrong and natural selection is coming for you.

Franks skin tone has been the topic of much debate in several Whatsapp and Facebook groups and  it got so intense that……ok……I cant believe I’m about to say this……Sannie “I Facebook Livestream regardless of the fact that I do a goddamn live radio show in the morning” Dorsett and I actually agreed on something.

Lets let that moment breathe.

Needless to say, much like Trumps presidency, the racists and colorists among us have been coming out of the woodwork and its time that we address colorism in the Bahamas or for the laymen….Light skin vs dark skin niggas.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I was working one summer with my boys Kenton and Kevin in Marathon Mall. Now, if you know me, and you know those names then you know them niggas black as hell. I didn’t even know I was dark for a long time because I was standing next to them everyday so by comparison I was bright. Now a lot of you millennials are probably confused by this story and by this article on the whole because y’all grew up with a plethora of dark skin niggas acting, rapping and singing.

Um….not us.

While y’all have Idris Elba and Migos we had…

El Debarge

Al B Sure (note the “steal your girl” light skin title)

And the one king to rule them all

And it wasn’t (isn’t) much better for the ladies because the darkest chick they had was Whitney Houston cause everyone else was…

Remember when she used to sing good?

 

…what? Y’all bleachin and putting white people hair on your head too so….

Shit, even the one girl group that had beautiful black girls in them were fronted by the token light skin chick.

She leave y’all dark gals in the dust but girl power tho

Light skin niggas had sexual objects like Shemar Moore and Will Smith.

Us?

SMT…they give us Blade.

Pitch black vampire hybrid in a trench coat with a sword and a horrible shape up. No dark nigga get juice that year #facts

Now I know some pro-black individual has some super historical and boring reason why blah blah slavery and blah blah we hate ourselves and trust me I super wanna hear that story but right now I really wanna delve into why I had to lose my virginity later than I wanted to just because I was dark because that’s also important.

I personally think it started with our grandparents/parents because, lets be honest, no one loves a light skin/mixed child like Bahamian parents. I mean they damn near worship them. It Legit cured Abaco of racism some historians (me) believe and its been a quick transition

…albeit forced

That coupled with the fact that we’re a predominantly black/dark people cause it hot as hell here. So it follows that when there is a rarity in the community you would be drawn to whats “exotic” or “different”.

I’m wrong?

“Bey look how fine this gal is…Muddo!!” – 99.7% of Bahamian men before she even turns around. Myself included.

Y’all know that’s how we are.

On this note I have to defend Bahamian females in the fact that, as usual, you matured faster than we did. I remember the night everything changed for dark skinned niggas. In the year of our Lord, 1999, a hero came…..dressed in a suit and brought a nerdy author friend with him just in case he needed help to drive the point home.

Oh y’all don’t know when everything changed for us?

Behold…

The movie “The Best Man”. Thank you Morris Chestnut and Taye Diggs. #ForeverGrateful #ButGod #Won’tHeDoIt?

 

For once the story didn’t revolve around the light skin nigga getting the girl.

The darkies won the day!

I remember being in the movie theater when Morris chestnut came on the screen. All around me were exclamations of “WTF!!” and “Jesus have mercy” from women who, in that moment, became woke. Then niggas messed around and gave them a shirtless Taye Diggs for good measure. Needless to say I think the cleaners that night had to dry a few seats after the movie was over.

Ok, take it easy Sharon. Your husband still ogly and broke

After that? It was a monsoon of dark niggas setting the world right.

Tyrese started singing, Idris started acting and just when we thought we’d won, Jesus decided to be extra as hell and send gals into overdrive.

Christian council wanted to stop Harry Potter from coming to the movies but meanwhile, on cable…

We won…and we won pretty early in the game.

Even Kanye said “I’m gonna make sure these light skin niggas never ever ever come back in styyyllleee”. The fact that that had to be addressed was always disturbing to me because it cast light on just how bad it was for us out here.

I personally can’t speak for the female experience but I frequent Tumblr and I see the outcry for more darker skinned female representation and love and honestly, its kinda confusing.

See I feel like women forget that we always loved Nia Long, Angela Bassett, Anita Baker (or was that just me?)….shit we even wanted to get with the Kelly Rowlands. Niggas really don’t think too far beyond “she ugly” and “she fine”.

Now, I can admit I too have used the words “Bey she fine for a dark gal”. I’ve said that on numerous occasions and I can admit that’s not only insulting but very wrong to say. Fellas lets not pretend like you wouldn’t ditch a light skinned chick in a heart beat for a date with one of these 2 ladies

They mussy live on the sun but they fine tho

So why preface a compliment with a judgement?

What I find so funny about writing this is I know some white people (Expats) are probably reading this like, “But all of you look alike to me tho…”. And to be fair I can see how that may be true when you live in a sea of black. But there are real issues between us when colorism gets involved.

Some bi-racial kids may feel like they have to pick sides, some darker skinned kids may feel like they’re not good enough and some light skinned folks may grow weary of constantly having to explain their ethnicity. Its a real and present everyday struggle for a lot of people.

Now, all that being said, there is a huge issue of light skin privilege on this island that needs to be addressed.

It’s a blaring, overt judgement that Bahamians really need to get over…..and by Bahamians I mean the light skin ones.

Please hear me, kids: Just because you bright doesn’t mean you look good.

A lot of y’all bright and ogly but out here strutting like you’re better than the rest and its starting to get a bit weird.

Trust there’s a nigga looking at this pic right now thinking “I mean sheen THAT ogly….at least her hair real!”

It feels like the pinnacle for success for a lot of these drug dealers businessmen is to have a light skin chick on their arm.

I’m lying?

Camp out at the airport and monitor whichever plane goes to Cuba. Niggas had to start importing light skin gals because of inflation/VAT.

“I makin lil change now so I can date light skin Bridget at work orrrrrrrr bring in Isabelle from Cuba and spend ¼ of the money. The savings from the weave alone is just….”

Just because certain niggas don’t know how to NOT lotion gals does not make you pretty….no….you just hang around a lot of thirsty ass niggas is all. Same goes for you Long Island gals females: Stop trying to convince people that your ogly dark skin boyfriend is a pie.

Date who you want to date and marry who you please but he ogly, sis. That’s all we’re tryna say. We’ve evolved to a point now where the hue of your skin is akin to your personality. If you’re too dark with too peasy hair you’re seen as a criminal. If you’re light skin then we just assume you love Steph Curry and listen to a shitload of Lionel Richie.

This is Franks Biological father. #TheMoreYouKnow

 

Look at our hometown celebrities. I see Harrison Thompson on my timeline and I immediately wanna treat gals better and talk about my feelings more over a glass of the coldest Trivento. I see Renaldo and preemptively want to fight him for no reason whatsoever.

He is responsible for feeding and clothing 2 kids. Y’all keep worrying about Trump tho.

 

We commonly tease Drake for acting light skinned and honestly? I’m kinda thinking niggas have something here.

Ok, hear me out.

It CAN’T be a coincidence that 90% of light skin niggas are emotional as hell. Perry Christie conceded in May and nigga was damn near in tears. Meanwhile Fred Mitchell in these streets callin niggas dumb….ON CAMERA.

Look at Chris Brown and Drake….they always rowin and cryin and in gals DMs beggin for another chance. A female had to legit get a restraining order on Chris.

Know who never had those problems?

DMX.

This is how dark skin niggas cry. #ItsScience

Also, can we address how 2 light skin people should probably not have kids with other light skin people like….ever?

Ok, we all love kids…..I mean they’re great. All things considered they’re like drunk old people: They stumble around, say a bunch of inaudible not English words and shit themselves happily (and we hope unknowingly). But for too long I’ve been watching Bahamians tease people about their “dark picky head lil chirren” but overlook these not-white lightskin couples having very odd looking kids. Nothing worse than a peasy head lightskin person cause that’s just a waste of good credit at Commonwealth bank.

“Based on your complexion and hair texture alone you’re pre-approved for this loan, Ingrid!”

Again, love who you love, but lets make the future better….and prettier. That’s all I’m saying…..Queens College and their beautiful racially ambiguous students can’t run this race alone, guys.

We’ve gotta lend a helping hand.

SO, now we’re left with this same Dilemma….is Frank lightskin? Is being light skin your complexion or is it all in your mind?

He has all the traits when you consider the facts: “Good hair”, a lighter complexion than…I don’t know….all of his friends (Looking at you, Kevin/Ashley). He speaks fluent Drake and he’s a little too nice if you ask me. Even I doubted his lightskinndedness until I was trying to find a pic of him to use for this article and then this happened

…are we finished or are we done? Cause this nigga on a bed playing with a shitzu in his dress clothes.

The Frank debate will rage on until we’re old and gray….that’s just how stupid his friend circle is. But in a broader sense it’s a reflection on us and just how much colorism is a big deal on this island. It’s the first thing mentioned and the first insult used far too often.

Most people had to travel to be accepted because they weren’t thought to be “beautiful” or good enough right here in their own home. There are gorgeous dark skinned people just as there are ugly ones. There are gorgeous light skinned people and then there is Lonzo Ball.

His face looks like someone from Sandilands was drunk and tried to draw Drake and….you know….couldn’t

Like Wu Tang taught us a long time ago….there are many flavors and varieties in the world and we have to accept and acknowledge all of them.

So lets stop the arguing and the name calling. The insults, the side eyes….the quiet judgments and the little hurts that we cast on our loved ones, friends and strangers. Lets embrace what makes us different, embrace and love the skin we’re in and….most importantly….just fucking admit that FRANK IS LIGHT SKINNED!!!

SMT

 

Stay(beautifully)Woke

 

…and speaking of dark skinned….Rest In Peace Bernard Nottage. We speak about “More Life” but you literally brought myself, my little sister and countless others into this world.

Thank you, sir.

Godspeed.

 

 

 

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