#TallTakes: LEAVE LAWRENCE ALONE!

People need to go easy on Lawrence

It’s been a week since the Insecure season finale and a lot of think-pieces have been written about the show and it’s incendiary finale, some of them in critical of star Isaa-Rae’s love interest Lawrence for some reason, that comically miss the mark on him and what the show was trying to tell us about him and his relationship with Issa.  I purposely waited a week to pass since the finale so I can read these takes and try to process not only them but how I feel about what happened on the show. Here are some conclusions I came to in that span.

(Spoilers form this point on)

Talking shit about Lawrence isn’t a revolutionary stance

Some recaps I’ve seen seemed to want to clear the air about Lawrence and the fact that he was a shitty spouse to Issa.  It seems like the authors feel as if they’re being smart or counter-intuitive but that’s a garbage take if you take into account the fact that about five or six out of the eight episodes of the show were propelled by the fact that Lawrence sucked at life.

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The show introduces him to the world as a guy who didn’t work and had turned down multiple jobs because they weren’t “right” for him, pretty much inviting us us to be critical of him. The first episode of the show started with Issa stating her desire to leave him and presents it as sort of a twist when she doesn’t. Writing a thinkpiece to remind us of that is like writing a thinkpiece to remind us that Archie Bunker is a racist, you’re not some revolutionary free thinker, you just watched the damn show and have a cursory understanding of what the hell you saw.

Lawrence didn’t actually do anything wrong. 

The shot of Lawrence beating the banker girl’s pelvis into powder at the end of that episode is a viscerally striking one that has people calling foul, but in the context of his relationship he didn’t do anything wrong when he had sex with her.

The criticisms of Lawrence I read all speak to his shortcomings in his relationship with Issa but this isn’t one of them, because he wasn’t in a relationship at that point. Sure he called and told her that they should talk when she gets back from vacation, but then he went about his business. That’s what people not in relationships do: go about their business.

At the end of the day he still was the one who was wronged.

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Never Forget

Lawrence wasn’t worth a damn for about six or seven of the eight episodes of the show, but the truth of the matter is Issa still decided to be with him then she cheated on him.  People may feel a certain way about who he was, and however they feel may be absolutely correct, but Issa could have solved her problems with him a long time ago by leaving him. She didn’t. She cheated on him instead.  The show goes to great lengths to illustrate how wrong she is.

Lawrence was wrong for being a bum who turned down employment to stay on his dilapidated ass couch and do whatever he was doing. Forgetting Issa’s birthday was probably unforgivable, but she was also wrong to cheat on him.  This isn’t a zero-sum situation here.

Lawrence will Probably emerge from this entire situation the winner (and that reflects poorly on society)

Despite being an ambitionless pud who wanted for everything to fall into his lap Lawrence is kinda in the driver’s seat of life according to society’s standards. He’s (relatively) young, he’s got a good ass job in the tech industry and he’s a good looking guy.

We look at women in his position as failures, and if you don’t believe me look at Molly. Like Lawrence she’s young, like him she has a great job and like he is as of the last episode, he’s single. People look at Molly like she’s thanksgiving leftovers a week later because of the awful way we regard women, especially black women, but Lawrence is pretty much looked at as the winner of this entire situation. And for that reason we suck.

Klay Thompson gave his last shit about 5 years ago

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Klay Thompson, shooting guard for the Golden State Warriors and friend of this blog is clearly out of shits to give.  At age 26 he has more money than he can ever hope to spend, he’s an NBA champion and and NBA gold medalist. Like the aforementioned Lawrence he’s in the driver’s seat of life, and he’s damn sure acting like it.

A couple of weeks ago he blessed us with this tremendous soundbite of him fielding questions at his locker while sipping on a beer. In the big tee shirt era where Allen Iverson cursed on live TV and walked around with 50 gangsters from Virginia everywhere he went and he never did anything like that.

Then last week he stopped a press conference to fold up a paper plane.

I hope as time goes by the NBA is populated with more Klay Thompsons and less Allen Iversons.

They’re really out here still trying to give Lane Kiffin jobs huh?

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It was announced last week that Tom Herman left his post at the University of Houston to take the job at the University of Texas. Houston has been scrambling to find a replacement for Herman, and a number of names have been brought up in terms of who they want to replace the departed Herman, most notable of which being current University of Alabama Offensive Coordinator Lane Kiffin.

Kiffin has been given head coaching jobs with the Oakland Raiders, the University of Tennesee and the University of Southern California largely off the strength of his last name (his father is widely respected NFL defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin) and his okay-ish looks and failed at every stop before reviving his career as the offensive coordinator of the current University of Alabama football teams, which may be the most dominant college football teams I’ve ever seen bar-none.

A number of notable college football coaches have come through U of H including Kevin Sumlin of Texas A and M and the now-disgraced Art Briles, formerly of Baylor and if Kiffin can prove his head-coaching chops here his once sputtering career as a head coach may actually live up to the promise it showed when he was an assistant at USC.

If Kiffin does get the job he should have a head-start especially with all the talent that Herman left the team with.  His first quarterback will be Kyle Allen, the uber talented rising redshirt junior from Texas A and M who was once a 5 star recruit should he chose to stay.

Kiffin has also built a reputation for himself as something as a master recruiter since his USC days.  If he is the recruiter he’s reputed to be he should have a field day with the ridiculous amount of talent in the state of Texas, especially with all the other Texas teams coming off down years.

This could be the job that determines whether Lane Kiffin is head coaching material or a coordinator. I personally want him to succeed.

The Most Mediocre football coach of all time gets to continue doing his thing

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Yesterday it was announced that The Los Angeles Rams Head Coach Jeff “Semnine” Fisher’s contract has been extended until the 2018/2019 season.

Jeff Fisher’s record with in the last five years with the rams is 31-44

The Rams are 4-8 this season.

This makes absolutely zero sense.

It used to be that if a coach did an awful job he would get fired. Jeff Fisher’s last winning season came in 2008 when he went 13-3 with the Tennesee Titans. Since then he’s went 39-52. Somehow he’s managed to be employed this entire time.

I’m not sure who he has tied up in his basement or whose naked pictures he has in his safe, but I’m sure they’re very important people, because that would be the only way to explain how Jeff Fisher has a job in the NFL.

Cause it isn’t because he gets results on the field.

Charles Barkley thinks the Warriors Play “Girly basketball”

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No really

Charles Barkley is a former NBA championship runner-up who doesn’t seem to know much about basketball or life in general.  He’s become the go-to black guy that racists turn to when they want to defend racism replacing Herman Cain, and he continues to be a terrible basketball commentator.  Racist white people who control everything love him so somehow he manages to continue to be employed.

Last week Charles opined that the Warriors play little girly basketball because they try to score more points than the other team by cutting, screening and hitting shots.

Calling something you find to be effete and soft “girly” has its own set of problems,  and Charles should apologize for that alone but because he’s been saying dumb things for so long I guess we decided awhile back that Charles can say whatever the hell he wants.

Charles has a lot of dumb opinions, especially when it comes to the Golden State Warriors, whom he said couldn’t win a NBA title shooting threes after they won an NBA championship.  The guy’s a fucking idiot, and he will always be.

The entire point of the game of Basketball is to outscore your opponent, but Charles must have forgotten that in his Warriors rage-fit. Every team passes, sets screens and cuts off the ball, the best ones, like Jordan’s Bulls, and Wooden’s UCLA teams and these current Warriors have had immense success and won many championships doing it.

Charles wouldn’t know how that feels so I guess that’s why he continues to spew this inane nonsense.

Athlete who is really good at sports: Giannis Antetokounmpo

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Giannis Antetokounmpo is really good at basketball.

Last week he lead his garbage ass Milwaukee Bucks team to a win over the defending champion Cleveland Cavaliers and Lebron James, the best player in the NBA.

Giannis put up Lebron-like numbers scoring 34 points on 13-19 shooting along with 12 rebounds, 5 assists, 2 blocks and one completely gross dunk.

The bounds of what’s normal in the game of basketball continue to be stretched and extra-terrestrials like Giannis, Joel Embiid and Carl-Anthony towns continues to lead the charge.  What a time.

 

Coach O is in the Citrus Bowl! I have another reason to post a video of him!

Louisiana State Head football coach Ed Orgeron and his team are in the 2016 citrus bowl, and their press conferece is this evening at 5:30. He hasn’t spoken on it yet and I really want to put a clip of Coach O because I want to do that every week, so here’s his press conference from last game’s victory against Texas A and M.

Listen to this guy.

Tom Brady is the winningist quarterback of all time

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Yesterday New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady set the record for all-time wins by a quarterback with 201 when he defeated the Los Angeles Rams 26-10. In honor of this I had a joke for resident 10YS pats fan Cardo, but he didn’t answer because Patriots fans are assholes so I’ll put it in this column, because we must do away with all false gods.

Knock Knock

(who’s there?)

18.

(18 who?)

18 and 1!

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GO GIANTS!

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