by RANDY SMITH
Whatever your fitness level, if you have a gym membership and use it at least three times a week, for the purpose of this column you’re considered a “gym-goer.”
You’ve taken some initiative towards living a healthy lifestyle and you seek the gym as a place of refuge. A place where you can escape the stress of the world and focus solely on working on your body.
Despite the joy we may get from our time at the gym- the personal achievements, the muscles, the selfies- there are some people at the gym that make us want to end our workouts early and go home with a good amount of pre-workout still in the chamber.
We scowl as soon as we see them walk through the doors, because we feel like they do theese things they do just to annoy us, even though thats probably (in 99% of the cases almost certainly) not the case.
Every gym has a few of these people, some more than others, and I know I’ll miss out a few, but these are the five that get the deepest under my skin….Pause.
1. The Advice Guy
You have two different types of advice guys. There’s the one that gives you unwanted advice on your form, supplementation, gym accessories and even on the best times to work out. However, we tolerate him because (very seldomly) he’s strong as hell and looks like he may know what he’s talking about. While he may be annoying at times, he occasionally drops a gem or two, which warrants him a pass for the next time he interrupts your set with his yarns about how much protein he takes in daily.
Then there’s the advice guy that we totally ignore and want to punch in the face. He’s usually weaker than the person he’s giving advice too, and when confronted on it, he usually responds by saying that he used to be stronger but got injured, or he’s just been out of the gym for a few months….but we know it’s a lie.
2. The Delusional Spot Guy
The gym builds bonds and brotherhoods, and a part of that is lending a spot to a stranger every now and then. While I have no problem with that, there are some that turn a simple bench spot into a set of barbell rows for you. They have a max bench of 225 and ask you to spot for “about three reps bro” of 315. While in your mind you know this is going to hurt you more than it hurts him, still, with a half smile, you say sure and go home with a sore back on arm day.
3. The Sweaty Guy with No Towel
Sweating at the gym is expected. It’s hot, you’re working hard and surrounded by a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean you have to use the bench as a sponge. Even if you forget your towel, the gym provides hand towels and sanitizer to make sure you leave the area clean. There’s nothing worse than laying your head back on a bench that’s covered with someone else’s sweat. Not only is it gross but also completely staph infectiony. Facts.
4. The weird selfie guy
There’s nothing wrong with taking the occasional gym selfie, especially after a day of hitting PR’s, but then there are some that take it to the next level. They take one every time they come to the gym and usually don’t care who’s in the background or what they’re doing. I’ve experienced this one personally. They posted their selfie online with me in the back, in mid squat, looking like I was taking the most glorified dump ever. Needless to say, I was annoyed. Then there’s the bathroom selfie guy. Please wait until the urinals are empty to take your shameless selfie. Thanks.
5. The Hailer
Like I said earlier, the gym builds bonds and fosters friendships that would never happen otherwise. However, there are some that come to the gym with the sole purpose of catching up on gossip. You can usually catch them making rounds around the gym like they’re at a sports bar. They do a set, and then spend the next 10 minutes talking, while you’re getting cold waiting on them to be done with the machine. They have no respect for headphones, and usually talk to you until you finally take them off and succumb to their need to tell you about why they didn’t feel like coming to the gym tonight.This is the person that forces you to change your entire gym schedule, the most dangerous gym-goer of them all.