by RENALDO DORSETT

Week 14 Awards

The “I Try To Separate On/Off The Field Issues…But This One Is Too Much” Award presented by Ray Rice – DeMarco “Spray Tan” Murray.

Smh....this guy

Smh….this guy

I’m not even going to explain for fear of censorship. Just google “DeMarco Murray, Spray Tan, Twitter” and enjoy the rest of your life. Thank me later.

The “0-100 Real Quick” Award presented by Drake and Diddy’s alleged confrontation outside Club LIV – Teddy Bridgewater and Jarius Wright ending the game on a routine screen pass that turned out to be an 87-yard game winner at home. What an absolutely Jets way to lose a game.

The The “Hollow Success Never Seemed So Fun” Award presented by every defensive back that celebrates a broken up pass whether leading or trailing by 21 points –  Sio Moore.

calling Colin Kaepernick a chump while Moore himself is (a) is a member of a 2-10 team and (b) almost cost his then winless team their first win of the season when he choose to do an extended sack celebration which lasted the entire 40 second play clock as the Chiefs moved the ball up the field. That being said, Kap looks like a real chump this year.

The most interesting man in the NFL

The most interesting man in the NFL

Week 14 Results

Renaldo: 11-5 (117-87-1, .571)

Sannie: 10-6 (114-90-1, .557)

Week 15

Green Bay Packers at Buffalo Bills

SANNIE: As we wind down to the final episodes of Sons of Anarchy, I dedicate my pick to Clay Matthews because it’s obvious he was the inspiration behind “Jacks”.

PACKERS over Bills

arodgersrelax

Remember when everyone was concerned that he didnt throw to Richard Sherman? No? Me either

Well Jax Teller’s dad formed a band of motorcycle outlaws that ruled a small laid back Californian town with an iron fist whereas Clay Matthews’ dad was an All-Pro linebacker with an 18 year NFL career. No one else makes this connection other than Sannie. Aaron Rodgers is playing at a level right now that’s just unbelievable to watch. Through 13 games, the former MVP has put up over 3,600 yards with 36 touchdowns and just three interceptions. That includes 16 touchdowns and no interceptions in the last five games. You can expose Green Bay’s defence to stay in the game and force a shootout, just not with Kyle Orton and EJ Manuel.

PACKERS over Bills

Cincinnati Bengals at Cleveland Browns

SANNIE:Why does everyone on the Cleveland Browns roster look so bad? They can’t find anyone cute to play?

BENGALS over Browns

If only the Browns front office thought like her. Wait…is that why Brian Hoyer lost the starting job? Well either that or the fact that the Browns have lost three of their last four games and Hoyer has thrown just one touchdown in that timespan. Well, the American media has what they’ve always wanted….Johnny Football Time.

manzielpic

ESPN’s dream scenario finally came true

The “Dawg Pound” is one game behind three teams and tied with four others for the two wild card spots, so the pressure is mounting for Manziel and the Browns as they prepare to make an EXTREMELY rare playoff push.

BROWNS over Bengals

Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts

SANNIE: Trent Richardson really has an awesome smile…seriously awesome.

COLTS over Texans

She get's it. I don't, but she does

She get’s it. I don’t, but she does

No idea how she even saw a smile, he averages 3.3 yards per carry and has routinely lost his job to anyone else available to carry the ball. The Colts can win the AFC South with a win against the divison rival and should do it, despite the best (or worst) efforts of “3.3 yards per carry T-Rich.” If only they measured running backs in smiles, Richardson wouldn’t be such a bust.

COLTS over Texans

Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots

SANNIE: No way I’m picking the Dolphins and making Renaldo happy, no way.

PATS over Dolphins

The Dolphins do an awesome job of making me unhappy all on their own. Believe me, they don’t need your help. Back in week one when these teams first met I just wanted the Dolphins to expose chinks in the armour to spark the year the Pats finally crack (not happening), I just wanted us to trick Knowshon Moreno into somehow believing he’s still back in Georgia (played two games before he was done for the year), I just wanted us to find a linebacker or safety to slow down Gronk, just a little (Not a chance). Now I just want to lose by a respectable margin. 

PATS over Dolphins

Pittsburgh Steelers at Atlanta Falcons

SANNIE: Real Housewives of Atlanta is heating up! The show is getting so much better and I love it!

FALCONS over Steelers

Kroy Biermann is leading the Falcons in sacks, yet he’s in the shadow of his wife that was too big of a star for the aforementioned good awful show (Does bad reality TV have stars? Do we call them that? Is it a show? Do we call it that?). As we saw against the Packers, the greatest problem with this team is that defence just trying to get a stop. I mentioned Biermann leading the team in sacks – with 3.5! No chance at stopping Rodgers, Eddie Lacy and Jordy Nelson last week, little chance stopping Big Ben, Bell and Antonio Brown this week.

STEELERS over Falcons

Jacksonville Jaguars at Baltimore Ravens

SANNIE: I heard the Ravens might settle Ray Rice’s suit again them…they need to, they really did him dirty (well after he did his wife dirty) but you know what I mean.

Carolina Panthers v Baltimore Ravens

Smith Sr and the Ravens have a chance to run away with the North this week

RAVENS over Jags

It was Roger Goodell that pretty much did Ray Rice dirty in this whole process. He’s such a villain that he actually made the guy who sucker punched his wife seem like a defenceless victim, but its tough to compare the two, thats apples and elevators. Baltimore loves chalk, they’re currently undefeated against teams with losing records and it would be hard to find a better chalk game at this point in the schedule than the Jags.

RAVENS over Jags

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Carolina Panthers

SANNIE: My Cam was in a car accident! I hope he is ok!

PANTHERS over Bucs

Reports are that Newton was released and allowed to go home to recover from his injuries. Turns out the result of the car crash resulted in the same injury suffered by Tony Romo earlier this year. Which means if the pattern holds true to form, like Romo, Newton is about to fold even more in December. Derek Anderson gets the start this week under centre for the Panthers but the only Derek Anderson I ever trusted played guard for Kentucky.

Wait....it's not this Derek Anderson?

Wait….it’s not this Derek Anderson? Bucs in 5 then

BUCS over Panthers

Oakland Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs

SANNIE: Man, Eddie Carter keeps smiling because the Raiders won two games. I can’t stand it. What is football coming to when the Raiders are winning games? Gee!

CHIEFS over Raiders

The Raiders have completely embraced this spoiler role this season and it may be the most exciting D storyline of the NFL season (We’re going to reserve the A, B and C story lines for playoff teams only). The Raiders started the Chiefs on their three game losing skid and all but closed the door on their cross-the bay rivals, the 49ers, last week. I just want this team to keep winning just to see what Sio Moore says or does next.

RAIDERS over Chiefs

Washington at New York Giants

SANNIE: No more Ebola in New York, they finally got it together!

GIANTS over Washington

No more Ebola anywhere (except Africa but the media seems not to be worried about it anymore). Weird that it just disappeared at the drop of a hat. Ebola was as hot in the mainstream media this year as RGIII’s stock was about three years ago. Now we both want them to just go away. Someone has to find a cure for both of them. I don’t know what it is for Ebola but for RGIII he may need a quarterback coach, a barber and a dentist. Both these teams are horrible and this will be an exercise in futility if there ever was one.

GIANTS over Washington

New York Jets at Tennessee Titans

SANNIE:I just realised Micheal Oher is the guy from the Blind Side…loved that movie !

TITANS over Jets

Marcus Mariotta bust be nervously watching this game surrounded by friends, family and the council of a good priest. The lost of this game may have the inside track for the no. 1 pick of next year’s draft and could be the next home for the Heisman hopeful quarterback. Poor guy.

JETS over Titans

Think of these awful teams as that guy in the orange...they're gonna get you Marcus. It's just a matter of time

Think of these awful teams as that guy in the orange…they’re gonna get you Marcus. It’s just a matter of time

Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers

SANNIE: Peyton Manning looks weird but he is allegedly one of the best, so I guess I will go with him.

BRONCOS over Chargers

Amazing you were able to hear that over the course of his ridiculously famous 18 year career. I wanted to elevate Phillip Rivers to elite status, but he shrunk from the moment against Tom Brady last week. Doesn’t get any better this week moving forward against Peyton. I learned everything I needed to know about the Chargers last week when Mike McCoy chose to put the ball away on 4th and four, trailing by 10 points at home with four minutes left to play. That’s not a team fighting to make the playoffs.

BRONCOS over Chargers

Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions

SANNIE:Reggie Bush supported Eric Garner by wearing a shirt with “I can’t breathe on it.” I like that.

LIONS over Vikings

Nine touchdowns and just three interceptions for Teddy Bridgewater in the last eight weeks which included last week’s game winning 87 yard touchdown pass in overtime. Bridgewater may have been the perfect pick for the Vikings to rebuild from the fallout of the AP controversy. On the other side, the Lions control their playoff destiny so hopefully Reggie Bush is as dedicated to making plays as he is to his newfound “blacktivism.”

LIONS over Vikings

San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks

SANNIE: I am never going to go against Russell Wilson, look at that face!

SEAHAWKS over 49ers

Marshawn Lynch is trending up, Colin Kaepernick is trending down and Russell Wilson’s  “run around and create magic” play just looks indefensible.  Leaned heavily toward the 49ers comeback story, but the odds of this team giving an effort to save Jim Harbaugh at this point is unlikely.

SEAHAWKS over Niners

Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles

SANNIE:Well hello Mychal Kendricks!

EAGLES over Cowboys

This franchise has unwavering confidence in Mark Sanchez...let that sink in

This franchise has unwavering confidence in Mark Sanchez…let that sink in

The Eagles should clinch the division. What Chip Kelly has right now is the most enviable position of any coach in all of sports…a team with legit reasons to believe the standard “us against the world” mentality and the talent to ride that all the way to a championship. Mark Sanchez and his redemption story, the decline of LaSean McCoy, Carry Williams fighting everyone in the world, trading away DeSean Jackson and black uniforms…I’m just saying, that’s tons of material for the media to talk about during Super Bowl week.

Eagles over Cowboys

New Orleans Saints at Chicago Bears

SANNIE: I love love  Chicago (and all that jazz) get it?

BEARS over Saints

BEARS over Saints

If it seems as if the first NFL Gamebreak every week features someone dominating the Bears secondary…that’s because it”s true. If it seems as if the Saints’ defense is as bad as Raptors defence was against Kobe in the 81 game…it’s because that’s true too. Something’s got to give.

BEARS over Saints

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